Do Guys Really Want To Be Friends After A Breakup? YES, Here’s Why

Do guys really want to be friends after a breakup

Breaking up is never easy, and the aftermath can leave you feeling lost and alone. Often, the question arises: can ex-partners truly be friends?

Is it possible for two people who were romantically involved to maintain a purely platonic relationship?

Specifically, do guys really want to be friends after a breakup? 

While opinions on this matter can vary, the truth is that it’s entirely possible for an ex-couple to remain friends.

In fact, it can even be a healthy and positive experience for both parties.

However, it requires time, effort, and certain boundaries to be established.

If you’re wondering whether you can maintain a friendship with your ex, read on for some insights and advice.

Also, if a post breakup friendship is what you truly want, then don’t let fear hold you back – with the right attitude and approach, it’s possible to find a new and fulfilling relationship with someone who was once your significant other.

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Let’s start with the definition of a breakup.

Definition of breakup

Let me give you the straight up definition – when two people who were in a romantic relationship decide to call it quits and go their separate ways, that’s a breakup.

It’s not exactly a fun topic to discuss because breakups can be pretty tough and emotional for both parties involved.

And let’s be honest, nobody wants to go through one.

They usually happen when there’s a lack of communication, trust, or if the spark just isn’t there anymore.

But hey, breakups happen to the best of us.

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to cry, vent, and take time to heal after a breakup. And who knows, maybe it’s for the best and something better is waiting for you around the corner. 

Do Guys Really Want to Be Friends After A Breakup?

Let’s talk about the age-old question: do guys really want to be friends after a breakup?

It totally depends on the situation.

If the split was relatively chill and both parties ended things on good terms, then maybe there’s a chance of maintaining a friendship.

But let’s be real, most of the time it’s just too awkward and painful to try and remain friends.

Especially if feelings are still lingering or if one person is clearly more invested in the friendship than the other.

And let’s be honest, sometimes guys just can’t handle being around their ex without wanting to rekindle things.

So my advice? Don’t force it. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen organically.

But if it’s too hard to be friends right now, just give each other some space and time to heal. Ain’t no shame in that game. 

Why Would A Guy Want to Be Friends After A Breakup? 8 Shocking Reasons

So, why would a guy want to be friends after a breakup? Believe it or not, there are a lot of reasons. The first one might seem obvious: he still likes you.

#1: He Still Likes You 

Hey girl, I gotta tell you something juicy. So, I ran into your ex the other day and I’m pretty sure he still likes you!

I know, I know, you guys broke up, but sometimes guys want to be friends after a breakup because they still have feelings for their ex.

I mean, can you really blame them? You’re amazing! Plus, there are tons of reasons why guys would want to keep in touch with their exes – they might miss the emotional connection, the physical attraction, or just being able to talk to someone who truly understands them. 

Related: How to Make Him Want You Back In 7 Simple Steps.

#2: He Genuinely Values The Friendship

Maybe your ex really values the friendship. There could be a bunch of possible reasons for why he’s like that.

Maybe he’s just a really loyal friend in general, or maybe he feels like you guys have been through a lot together.

Whatever the reason may be, there could honestly be worse reasons he wants to stay friends with you. 

And honestly, it’s not that surprising – guys tend to value their friendships a lot more than they let on sometimes. It’s just not really the “cool” thing to do, you know?

But it sounds like he genuinely enjoys the friendship, and that’s a great thing.

Having someone who’s always there for you and really cares about your well-being is pretty hard to come by these days. 

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#3: He Wants To Keep Tabs On You

Another reason for him asking for friendship after a breakup is that might want to keep tabs on you to satisfy his curiosity or to gauge your level of interest in him.

It may seem a bit creepy, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. There could be a bunch of possible reasons why he wants to stay updated on what you’re doing.

Maybe he’s just trying to make sure you’re safe, or maybe he’s got a bit of a crush on you and wants to be in the loop about your social life.

Some guys just like to have the inside scoop on everything, y’know?

And let’s not forget that he might genuinely enjoy the friendship you guys have.

It’s possible that he just wants to keep up with what’s going on in your world because he values your friendship and wants to be a part of it.

Regardless of why he’s doing it, though, if it’s making you uncomfortable, maybe you should assess whether allowing him into your life is worth it anymore.

#4: He Doesn’t Want to Deal With The Fallout Of A Full On Breakup

It is understandable that some individuals might avoid dealing with the aftermath of a full on breakup.

Every breakup brings about a sense of emotional turmoil that can be overwhelming to handle.

It’s important to recognize that some guys might not be equipped with the necessary emotional strength to deal with the repercussions of a lengthy, contentious separation.

Whether it is a lack of closure or the feeling of being alone, it’s crucial to be compassionate towards their preference.

People deal with emotional pain in different ways, and some might choose to distance themselves as a form of self-preservation.

However, it’s equally important to ensure that both of you are comfortable with the decisions made while avoiding a full on breakup.

Respectfully discussing the reasons behind the desire to avoid the difficulties of a painful split can create a comfortable and peaceful environment that can protect everyone’s well-being.

Remember that while breakups can hurt, a little bit of empathy can go a long way in alleviating the pain. 

do guys really want to be friends after a breakup

#5: He Wants to Manipulate You

It is a troubling reality that there are men out there who are willing to manipulate women for their own benefit.

There are various possible reasons why guys want to do this, such as a desire for power, control, or even just a lack of empathy.

It is important to recognize that these behaviors are not normal or acceptable, and should not be tolerated in any relationship.

If you find yourself in a situation where your ex boyfriend is trying to use your friendship as a way to manipulate you, it is crucial to set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations.

You are not obligated to maintain a friendship with someone who has treated you poorly, and it is important to prioritize your own well-being and safety.

Regardless of how much he still wants to be friends, you should not allow him to use your friendship as a means of exerting control over you.

Remember that you deserve respect and kindness in all of your relationships, and do not have to tolerate any form of manipulation or abuse. 

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6: He’s Hoping For A Friends With Benefits Relationship

Although it is common in modern dating culture, having a friends with benefits relationship is not something to be taken lightly.

If you find yourself in a situation where someone you are interested in expresses their desire for such a relationship, it is important to approach it with caution and consideration.

If he is hoping for a friends with benefits situation, it is crucial to understand that this means he still wants to be friends with you, but also wants the added benefit of physical intimacy without the commitment of a traditional relationship.

However, it is also possible that he may want to stay friends with you in order to gain value from a friends with benefits situation in the future.

It is important to have an open and honest conversation about boundaries and expectations before entering into such a relationship.

It is important to prioritize your emotional well-being and to not feel pressured into agreeing to a situation that does not align with your own desires and values. 

#7: Keeping You As A Backup Option

It is disheartening to find yourself being kept as a backup option, especially when you have strong feelings for someone.

Related: Will He Ever Come Back? 7 Signs He Will + 3 Mistakes to AVOID.

This situation often arises when an ex-partner suddenly declares that they “still want to be friends.” While maintaining a friendship with an ex can be possible, it is important to set clear boundaries and ensure that both parties are on the same page.

Being kept on the backburner can lead to feelings of resentment and hurt, which is why it is essential to communicate your needs and desires effectively.

It is crucial to prioritize your own self-worth and avoid settling for anything less. You deserve to be someone’s first choice and be treated with respect. Remember, it is better to move on than to hold onto false hope or remain in a toxic situation.

#8: You Share Kids Together

When two individuals decide to share their lives together, they may also choose to have children.

In the unfortunate event of a breakup, it is imperative to remember that both parties will continue to have a connection through their children.

It is important to maintain a civil and respectful relationship for the sake of their offspring. Both parents have a responsibility to ensure that their children are taken care of emotionally and financially.

It may be difficult, but it is crucial to stay friends after a breakup if it means creating a stable and nurturing environment for the children.

It sets a positive example for them and teaches them how to handle conflicts in a mature and productive manner.

Even though the romantic relationship may have ended, the bond formed by having children together should be respected and cherished. 

Reasons why some men prefer not to stay friends with their exes After a breakup

While some men may choose to stay in touch with their exes, others may prefer not to maintain any form of contact.

This decision can stem from a variety of reasons, including:

  • The need for finality
  • Avoidance of emotional discomfort
  • Acknowledgment that the relationship is truly over. 
  • Additionally, some men may not feel comfortable being friends with someone they were once romantically involved with.

It’s important to remember that each person’s experiences and feelings are unique; what might work for one person may not necessarily work for another. 

How to navigate post-breakup friendships with guys

Navigating post-breakup friendships with guys can be challenging, but with the right approach and attitude, it’s possible to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with your ex.

1: Give each other space.

It’s important to take some time apart after a breakup to process your feelings and emotions. This will help you both gain some clarity and perspective on the situation.

2. Be respectful.

No matter what caused the breakup, it’s important to respect each other’s feelings and decisions. This means avoiding any negative or hurtful comments about each other or the relationship.

3. Communicate openly.

If you’re both committed to maintaining a friendship, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and expectations. 

Discuss what kind of relationship you want to have going forward and set boundaries that work for both of you.

4. Try To Avoid Behavior motivated by jealousy.

If your ex starts seeing someone else, it’s natural to feel a twinge of jealousy or discomfort. However, it’s important to recognize that this person has moved on and it’s not your place to interfere or make things awkward.

5. Don’t fall back into old patterns.

It’s easy to slip back into the routine of a romantic relationship when you’re spending time with someone you used to date. Be mindful of your behavior and avoid sending mixed signals or leading your ex on.

Ultimately, navigating post-breakup friendships with guys requires maturity, respect, and clear communication. If both parties are willing to put in the effort, a friendship can be a meaningful and positive part of their lives. 

– Communication tips for setting clear boundaries and expectations
– The importance of honesty and transparency
– Recognizing when a friendship is no longer healthy or productive

The potential benefits and drawbacks of staying friends with an ex 

Here are some potential benefits and drawbacks of staying friends with an ex.

1) It can show emotional maturity and the ability to move on from a past relationship in a healthy way.
2) It can provide a support system and maintain a sense of familiarity and comfort.
3) It can allow for a platonic relationship without the pressure or expectations of romantic involvement.
4) It can make transitioning into new relationships easier because there is no animosity or resentment between exes.


1) It can prevent both parties from fully moving on and hinder emotional healing.
2) It can lead to confusion or mixed signals, making it difficult to establish new boundaries and expectations.
3) It can trigger jealousy or insecurity in new partners.
4) It can lead to reliving past relationship issues or conflicts and cause emotional pain or distress.

Advantages of maintaining a friendship

1. Emotional Support: Friendship is a source of emotional support. In times of distress, friends can provide a listening ear, advice, and comfort.

2. Shared experiences: You have a shared past with your ex-partner, and your friendship can continue to build on that. The things that brought you together can still stand, even if your romantic relationship ended.

3. Connection: Friends help reduce loneliness and promote feelings of connection. This connection can help to enhance your self-esteem, sense of belonging, and mental health.

4. Trust: When two people have had a relationship, they often know each other inside out. The friendship can build on this knowledge and trust, offering each other a level of support that isn’t always possible with new friends.

Drawbacks to consider before pursuing a post-breakup friendship:

1. Jealousy: A new partner might not be thrilled about you remaining friends with your ex. This can put a strain on your new relationship, especially if you and your ex-partner had a very close relationship.

2. Giving mixed messages: When you pursue a post-breakup friendship with your ex, you might give them the wrong impression. Your ex-partner might think that you’re still interested in something more romantic, leading to a complicated situation.

3. Unresolved feelings: If you continue spending time with your ex, it’s possible to rekindle your feelings. This can lead to confusion between you two and might affect your future relationships.

4. Setting boundaries: Some people find it difficult to set boundaries when friends with their ex. It can be tough to maintain a friendship without falling back into old routines, such as indulging in romantic behavior. This can make things unnecessarily complicated.

Final thoughts on post-breakup friendships with guys

Ah, the classic question: do guys really want to be friends after a breakup? It’s like asking if cats really want to knock everything off your shelf.

The answer is simple: it depends on the guy. Some guys might genuinely want to remain friends, while others might just want to keep you around as a backup plan in case they get bored.

And let’s not forget about the ones who simply can’t resist the urge to keep tabs on you and see if you’re dating anyone else.

To be honest, trying to navigate post-breakup friendships with guys is like playing Minesweeper. You never know what you’re going to get.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and some guys manage to make the transition from lovers to friends seamlessly.

But for the most part, it’s a tricky situation that requires careful consideration. So, if you find yourself in this predicament, just remember to trust your gut, set clear boundaries, and maybe invest in a good bottle of wine. You’re going to need it. 

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