It’s natural to feel brokenhearted after a breakup, especially if you truly loved him.
No doubt this heartbreak is encouraging you to find a way to get him back.
You want to stop this pain and make everything ok again. I understand that.
If you want to know how to make him want you back, there are 7 steps you can take to make him think about you and have second thoughts about the separation.
The following article will outline 7 simple steps that can help you win him back.
Step 1: Make sure you’re ready to make him want you back.
Before taking any steps to make him want you back, make sure you are ready for any potential consequences.
Make sure that you have thought through the potential outcomes of your efforts and are prepared for whatever the result may be.
Because let’s face it:
No matter how much you want him back, he may not be ready to re-commit.
Not only that, but he might resent you for your efforts and it may push him in the opposite direction.
If this is the case, you must be prepared to move on and accept the situation.
Step 2: Go no contact.
If you haven’t heard of no contact, it’s basically when you stop contacting your ex and avoid him for a set amount of time.
Usually, for no contact to successfully serve its purpose, you need to do it for at least 3-4 weeks.
No contact is a great opportunity for you to take a break from the stress and tension of the situation.
It is also a good way to give yourself time to process your feelings and reflect on what you really want.
Scientists have also found that taking a break from an ex can help you to overcome the old feelings which you might still harbor for them and make it easier to move on.
This is because it helps to create an emotional distance between yourself and your former partner.
Now:
Since you want to know how to make him want you back, you probably do not want to move on under any circumstances.
Regardless, your ex likely does. At the very least, he likely wants to take a break.
So it’s imperative that you accept this no contact period.
Give your ex what he needs (or wants) by going no contact first.
Show him that you respect his need for space. This is absolutely essential if you want to make him your again.
Respect his need for time and space and do not be clingy or needy.
This also applies to social media, avoid liking or commenting on his posts.
Once you’ve completed no contact for about 3-4 weeks, it’s time for step 2.
MORE: Will He Come Back After No Contact? 7 Signs He Will & 5 Signs He Won’t.
Step 3: Start building a strong foundation of inner esteem for yourself.
How to make him want you back?
Build inner esteem for yourself so that from now on, all your actions will come from a high value place.
The last thing you want is to give off a vibe of desperation for him because even though he may still love you to some extent, he won’t want to feel that desperate energy.
It is certainly not the way to inspire him to want you back.
But how do you build inner esteem for yourself?
Do things that are difficult and force you out of your normal routine and comfort zone.
This will make you feel more secure in yourself and give yourself a sense of purpose.
Here are some examples:
- Take a new exercise class
- Learn a new language
- Help someone else see their worth and value in this world
- Travel somewhere new
- Sign up for a marathon
- Volunteer in a soup kitchen
- Decorate your house
- learn to cook new dishes
These are just a few of the many activities you can do to help you build inner esteem.
When you have a strong sense of self-worth, it will be easier for you to focus on your goal of getting him back without feeling desperate.
Plus, your newfound confidence will be attractive to him and make him realize what he’s missing out on.
Remember: always avoid looking desperate. It is disrespectful to yourself as well as him.
You don’t need to beg him to take you back, you just need to raise your sense of esteem and in the process, that will raise your value as a woman.
This brings us to the next step of how to make him want you back…
Step 4: Build your value as a woman (be a high value woman)
Closely tied to building esteem for yourself but still very different is the concept of raising your value as a woman.
Well, it means that you raise your perceived value in the eyes of men.
No matter what others say, the truth is that some women are seen as universally valuable to men, while others always fall short.
This has nothing to do with your worth as a woman. It is to do with the value you have to offer a man.
Because remember, men are very different to women and they perceive value differently.
So how can you become a high value woman?
- Lead with your understanding (understanding of him and of masculine psychology in general)
- Look to emotionally connect with him rather than appealing to his sexual side (as you’ll need that sense of emotional connection if you’re going to inspire him to commit); and
- Improve or maximize your physical health (it’s not just about fitness; it’s about doing the right things by your body so that you’re at peak health). When you’re in peak health, any man will want to invest in you more, because a healthy woman is an attractive woman.
There’s also one more aspect to becoming a high value woman, and that is what step number 5 is all about.
Step 5: Inspire emotional attraction in him.
If you don’t inspire him to feel emotionally attacted to you, there’s little to no chance of him returning to you.
Men simply do not emotionally commit to a woman unless they are emotionally attracted to her.
So how can you inspire him to feel emotionally attracted to you?
Begin with high value banter.
High value banter is a plaful way to create conversation with him at the same time as building romantic tension, excitement and of course, emotional attraction.
Yes, this means that you might initiate contact with your ex, and at this stage of the breakup (since it’s after the no contact period), it’s perfectly ok.
Banter is the process of having playful conversation that inspires conversation to go deeper as well.
Would you like some free examples of texts that you can use to begin building emotional attraction with your ex?
Step 6: Give him what he wants (not what you think he wants).
When it comes to knowing how to make him want you back, it’s important to remember that men typically want something different than what women typically think they want.
When it comes to getting him to commit to you again, men want a woman who ignites feelings of emotional connection and emotional attraction.
It’s important to remember that what men want isn’t necessarily what women think they want.
Most women assume that by looking their best or making the guy jealous, that that is the answer to how to make him want you back, but it’s not.
That’s a way of making yourself feel powerful or in control.
But we want to inspire him to want you, back right?
So give him what he wants and focus on the attraction and connection instead.
Here’s how you can do that:
Relax into your softness and show vulnerability by smiling at him, being feminine and soft in his presence and making yourself available and approachable.
To make him want you back, you need to show open, feminine body language.
This shows him that you are available and that he has a chance of winning you over.
If you appear unapproachable and guarded, it will be hard for him to get close to you.
Show him that you are open to spending time with him, but don’t be too pushy.
Step 7: Let him make the move.
Once you have inspired feelings of emotional attraction in him and made him realize what he’s missing out on, it’s time to let him make the move.
He will get the point by now, so don’t be too pushy – let him come to you.
If you have done steps 1-6 correctly and it’s been some time since you’ve discontinued contact with him, he will be ready to make a move.
Basically, you want to make him feel like it was his idea to get back together with you.
You want him to make the move to get you back, because he’s more likely to stick to the decision that way.
Plus, when you’ve showed up as a high value woman with deep internal esteem, you would have already given yourself the absolute best chance of having him want you back!
To recap…
In conclusion, getting your ex back requires not just physical attraction, but emotional connection and establishing yourself as a high value woman.
Make sure you have built your inner esteem and grown as a person in order to make him see the value you can bring to him.
Follow the 7 steps outlined in this article to give him the push he needs to realize that you are the one for him and that he should make the move to get you back.
With a little bit of effort and patience, you’ll be back together in no time!
