Are you tired of waiting for your guy to take the next step? Sick of being in relationship limbo?
Well, you’re not alone. I know the feeling of being ready to commit, but your guy just doesn’t seem to be on the same page.
That’s why I’ve put together 17 easy steps to help you get him to commit.
But let me warn you – this isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s going to take some effort and determination, but it will be worth it in the end.
So, let’s get started on this journey to commitment land, shall we?
How to Get Him to Commit
Step 1: Be clear about what you want
The first step in how to get him to commit is you being crystal clear about what you want from your relationship.
If you’re looking for something serious, don’t pretend you don’t want anything serious to try to trap him (it won’t work anyway).
Instead, be clear that you value the relationship with him, want to be together long-term and want to go deeper with him.
It’s ok to share with him that you’re looking for a committed relationship.
Don’t beat around the bush or drop hints. Be direct and honest in your communication.
If he’s not on board in wanting a committed relationship, try to hear what he’s saying. He’s telling you he can’t give you what you need, and you need to honour that.
If, however, he’s not being direct with you and you’re not quite sure whether he’s likely to commit to you, I recommend you take our quiz to find out how commitment-ready he is:
Step 2: Don’t be too available
Playing hard to get isn’t just a game. It’s a legitimate strategy.
Sure it has drawbacks, and you don’t want to be nasty with it as this doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.
But you can use it to raise your perceived value.
The simple truth to consider is that if you’re always available to him, he won’t feel the need to commit.
Make sure you have a life outside of your relationship and don’t drop everything for him all the time.
If you’re already dating exclusively, you can still show him that he’s a priority at times, as you don’t want to completely pull away from your relationship.
However, the key for how to get him to commit is that you have to let him know he’s a priority without always being readily available for him.
He needs to know that he doesn’t own you (or your time or your commitment) yet – until he’s made it clear that he actually wants to own you and commit to you fully.
Step 3: Be feminine and soft
One important key to get him to commit to an exclusive relationship is to become more feminine.
If you’d like to know how naturally feminine you are actually, you can find out with our quick and free quiz:
You may already be very feminine, but in this modern world, even the most feminine women could be more feminine, due to the stressors placed on us women and the masculine world we are expected to survive in.
Be a naturally feminine woman, and allow him to be in his natural masculine energy.
Here’s how to do it:
- If you are competitive, allow yourself to take a break from competitive activities and replace them with pleasurable, non stressful activities
- Focus on enjoying your body, instead of over-extending it (where you can, I know it’s not easy!!)
- Allow yourself to be in flow, rather than be in go mode all the time
- And let him lead you to places you’ve never been before, both emotionally and physically
Step 4: Give him space
Men need space. It’s just a fact. Well, humans in general need space, even the most attached among us need it.
So do your best not to suffocate him with your constant attention and affection.
This is hard to do if you’re anxious about where the relationship is going.
But it’s worth it, because you want to let him know that you’re capable of filling up your own life as well.
You want him to realize that you have enough self confidence that you don’t have to hang off him and his life all the time.
Let him have some freedom to do his own thing. Trust me, he’ll appreciate it and it will make him more likely to commit.
Step 5: Don’t be afraid to walk away
…And don’t settle for less than you actually want or need in your relationship.
No man and no relationship is perfect of course, but if you’re settling for less than you deserve, he will pick up in that eventually.
He’ll feel that you are compromising too much of yourself and he won’t feel the need to step up his game and “claim” you.
So, don’t be afraid to walk away if he’s not willing to offer you a serious relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who values and respects you.
Step 6: Build a deep connection
Without a deep connection, you really have nothing.
You could both be super attracted to each other, but if attraction is all you have, he will never commit.
Unless the attraction he feels is emotional attraction.
With the presence of emotional attraction, it’s going to be a lot easier for you to get him to commit.
But if all it is is this intense physical attraction, that’s simply not enough.
And contrary to what a lot of attractive women believe, physical attraction is actually quite cheap.
So what you need to do is make sure you’re building a deep emotional connection.
Here’s a game changing way to build emotional connection with a man.
Step 7: Spend time with his friends and family
Build relationships with his friends and family. This is not an essential step for how to get him to commit, it’s more of an optional step.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not effective!
When his friends and family genuinely like you, he’ll feel more connected to you and more likely to commit.
Plus, it’s a great way to build connection with him through shared experiences alongside those he loves.
It just creates that extra dimension and layer to your emotional connection with each other.
Step 8: Be on his team
The next tip for how to get him to commit is to be on his team.
Show him through your actions that you are in fact on his team.
You can do this by supporting him in his goals and dreams – try not to see his goals and dreams as a threat or criticize them, even when you don’t think highly of them.
Encourage him to chase his passions and be his biggest cheerleader.
When he feels like you’re on his team, he’ll be more likely to commit to you.
Why?
Because it proves your loyalty.
Step 9: Set boundaries and stick to them
Many women forget this important step in getting a man to commit.
It’s important to set boundaries in any relationship – especially when you’re sensing that you’re not in a serious relationship with him.
This is in fact more effective than having the commitment talk.
Instead of talking about all the things you need, show him what you need by setting boundaries.
Here’s how you do that:
- Don’t let him take more than you’re comfortable giving
- Don’t tolerate him using you
- Don’t let him try to tell you that you need to change aspects about yourself before he will commit (because when a man is in love, he will feel that you’re perfect even when you’re not).
Step 10: Be patient
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and commitment doesn’t happen overnight. It really is a gradual process.
This doesn’t mean it has to take forever, it just means you must respect that commitment will come in stages.
Be patient and don’t rush him. If he’s worth it, he’s worth the wait.
Step 11: Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Opening up and being vulnerable can be scary, but it’s essential in building a strong relationship.
Show him your true self and let him see your flaws without begging him for his approval.
When women ask me how to be vulnerable, I always say it’s as simple as just being.
Just be!
Who you really are is ok.
Don’t try to cover things up too much – as most smart men see through that really quickly.
Contrary to popular belief, men actually need to see you imperfect and vulnerable in order to value you and trust you.
If you want to know how to be vulnerable in a high value way towards a man, use this one specific emotional trigger.
CLICK HERE to learn:
Step 12: Show him your appreciation
Don’t take him for granted. Show him how much you appreciate him and everything he does for you.
When he feels appreciated, he’ll be more likely to commit because this is how a man’s ‘hero instinct’ is triggered.
When you’re humble enough to show your appreciation, he will see that there’s room in your life for him to be your hero and to offer you help.
This means a lot to a masculine man, and it’s not hard to do, so use it to your advantage!
It’s an important key for making a man commit to you.
Step 13: Don’t play (manipulative) games
Now let me explain this one, because I know earlier on we talked about how playing hard to get can be somewhat useful at times.
Playing playful games and playing manipulative games are two very different things.
You can play hard to get in the sense that you are now choosing to value your own time, emotional energy and your presence.
But you don’t want to play manipulative games.
Manipulative games are games you play when you’re trying to control him.
That’s the key: don’t try to control him.
Playing manipulative games will only backfire on you.
If you feel frustrated now, you can be sure that you’ll feel even more frustrated in your relationship after you try to play manipulative games.
Be genuine and authentic in all your interactions. If you’re not interested in playing games, he’ll be more likely to take you seriously.
Related: 6 Little-Known Ways to Make Him Crazy For You + 1 Mistake.
Step 14: Make him feel needed
Men commit more when they feel needed by a woman.
It’s not the be-all and end all, but it’s essential nonetheless.
Men want to feel needed and important. Find ways to make him feel like he’s an essential part of your life.
When he feels needed, he’ll be more likely to commit.
Step 15: Take the relationship to the next level
Don’t be afraid to take the relationship to the next level – just don’t do more than you feel is appropriate to how committed to you he already is.
If you’re both ready, you can start talking about marriage or get a puppy together, for example.
When he sees that you’re willing to commit to something that’s mutually important to both of you, it can show that you’re serious about him.
When you do this, he’ll be more likely to commit as he will begin to attach to you more.
Related reading: 7 Reasons Why Men Pull Away & How to Keep Your Power.
Step 16: Know when to walk away
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a guy just won’t commit.
It’s important to know when to walk away. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t value you and your relationship.
It will only damage your self esteem and self respect, because you’ll be giving far more than he is and you’ll come to resent this and feel bad about it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do guys with commitment issues come back?
Yes, especially if they want something from you.
But just because they come back doesn’t mean it’s for good reasons, so you need to be smart and be discerning.
Don’t be so desperate that you eat up whatever he will give you, even if he’s neglected you for weeks or months.
How do you know if a guy will ever commit?
You know if you’re his one and only. There’s a difference between being his one and only and being the one of many woman.
To know the difference and to now exactly how to always be the one and only woman (to any red blooded male), watch this video.
(It will help you have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by showing you 5 essential feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
How long do you wait for a man to commit?
You only wait for him to commit if you know for sure that you’re the one.
If he treats you as an option, or if he clearly doesn’t value you enough, you may not be the one.
As such, waiting around would be the worst thing you can do and it would be wasting your time.
You don’t wait for a man to commit unless he chooses you and only you.
Conclusion
Getting him to commit isn’t easy, but it’s possible if you follow these 15 steps.
Remember to be clear about what you want, give him space, and be patient.
Most importantly, don’t settle for less than you deserve. You’re worth a guy who is willing to commit to you and your relationship.
