Are you looking for a way to take something that is traditionally considered feminine and make it hypermasculine beyond belief? Look no further than Alphanail, the online nail polish retailer for "men and fighters."
Monster High™, Mattel's popular tween and teen-targeted franchise, which encourages girls to celebrate their imperfections and embrace those of others, today announced that it is partnering with the Kind Campaign, a movement, documentary and school program dedicated to spreading the message of kindness. [...] "The Monster High brand uses the monster metaphor to show girls that it is ok to be different and that our unique differences should be celebrated," said Lori Pantel, VP Marketing, Global Mattel Girls Brands. "We see our partnership with Kind Campaign as a natural fit because their message of kindness and acceptance goes hand-in-hand with the Monster High brand's message to embrace our own and each other's imperfections."
Two students at Texas State University have founded the Former Majority Association for Equality to financially assist white men. Yes, only white men, because according to co-founder William Lake, they are "one group that just doesn't have any support."
It seems that irrelevant talking animals are not the height of commercial vogue, leaving extra room for the gems Virgin Mobile has been bombarding me with at every break. And by "gems," I mean they're abso-freaking-lutely awful in every way. Take a look:
Fashion Week starts today, and Diet Pepsi has a big fat announcement! From their latest press release:
In celebration of beautiful, confident women, Diet Pepsi presents the taller, sassier new Skinny Can at New York's Fall 2011 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
Finally! Our unrealistic beauty standards for women—oh, excuse me, just "beautiful, confident women"—have made the jump to inanimate objects! Is it just me or are regular soda cans looking like total fat asses right about now?!?
File it under "No Longer Surprising," but yet another anti-gay douchebag has turned out to be... wait for it... GAY!!! Baptist Minister George Rekers was caught out not only entertaining a male escort, but entertaining him on a ten-day trip to Europe! Oh, and the kicker? Though Rekers claims the man was just there to help him "lift his luggage" (yeah, that sounds sexual to me too) he hired his "luggage lifter" from the male escort service rentboy.com! Yeah, I'm not buying that he thought it was a site for the hiring of "luggage lifters."
It's OK! I'm not gay, I just don't like carrying my own bags."
Smart Girls at the Party fans, prepare for a disappointment of the douche kind. In order to increase viewers for their second season, the SGATP team (whose first season focused on young girls kicking major ass – check it out if you haven't seen it) is joining forces with Joe Francis (the owner of Mantra Films and the jerkstore behind the Girls Gone Wild franchise) and his band of douchenozzles to create a Girls Gone Wild-type show for tweens. That's right – now, instead of watching tween girls talk about their awesome bands or cool art projects, on Smart Girls at the Party Season Two we can see them flounce around in teeny bikinis holding wet t-shirt contests and seeing who can tie a knot in a cherry stem the fastest. W.T.F.?
In an effort to cast a net beyond the sea of my own opinions (most of which involve reality television and hilarious animal photos) I asked for reader feedback on this week's Douchebag Decree. The nominations were many, and all were deserving: The Itawamba School District, for its attempts to ban gay couples from attending the prom. Eric Massa, for allegedly sexually harassing employees in his Congressional office. Ken Cuccinelli, for his letter advising public universities to retreat from their policies against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Ben Roethlisberger, for yet another alleged sexual assault. Douchebags are running amok!
However, one nominee rose to the top of the list for me, especially once I realized this Douche Supreme has never been awarded The Decree before. (I guess it was too obvious?) Congratulations, Howard "Douchemeister" Stern.