Sex and the Fat Girl

Sometimes it seems like we're bombarded by study after study telling us fat girls that unless we fit a certain body type, we're doomed to be relegated to the "unattractive" bin. If your fat happens to settle into an "hourglass" or "pear" shape, your fat is more likely to be seen as "OK" by the dominant culture.

A little over two years ago, "World's Fattest Man" Manuel Uribe married his fiance Claudia Solis to the clucking dismay of fat haters everywhere. How could she be sexually attracted to someone so fat? How do they even have sex? When the answer to the latter question came in, you could almost see the horrified faces: His friends constructed a "sex ramp" that enabled him to consummate his marriage. The idea of fat people having sex has long been a source of asshole-ish commentary and thinly veiled (if you're lucky) disgust. And yet, we fat people keep going on and getting it on.

Many fat girls bristle at the mention of fat/BBW porn. Of course among some feminists, any porn can be a hot topic, but for some fat feminist girls there's something in particular that's troubling about the idea that someone gets off on a body simply because it's fat. They may find it exploitative, or objectifying, or demeaning. As a sex-positive, porn-loving, fat, feminist girl I do understand the problems with the porn industry and its history of exploiting women. But the product itself, the porn, I see no problem with unless it's non-consensual. So seeing as how I enjoy porn, I also don't have a problem with fat/BBW porn. I don't see it as offensive or exploitative simply because it's directed at people who get off on seeing fat women's bodies. In fact, I think it's an extremely positive thing to encourage people to see fat women as sexual beings.

Hello, dear Bitch readers. I'm Tasha Fierce and I write the stalled blog Red Vinyl Shoes. If you don't know, I wrote the Size Matters blog series for Bitch last fall. Now I'm back with another column dealing with fat—this time, we're talking about sex and sexuality as it relates to being a fat girl. I feel like talking about sex and fat is something that's rarely done, even though there's so much evidence to support the idea that hey, fat girls like sex too and we're not ashamed of our sexuality. In the media and in life, fat sex is seen as disgusting by many, something that should be hidden away or joked about. I want to celebrate it, break down why there's such a barrier to discussing fat sex and critique the overarching societal values that seek to keep fat girls believing that they can't be sexual beings at the size they're at.