sex

Designer Tom Ford once told Details magazine: "There’s one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime. If you’re straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you’re gay, don’t go through life without sleeping with a woman."

Gucci's sartorial savant could—pardon the following phrase—"get away with" that—pardon the following adjective—"edgy" quote since he's an out gay man. Having already wandered away from the heteronormative fold, of course it's fine for him to explore both male and female physical contact. A straight guy saying that? Whoa, buddy, you've gotta be gay. Because male bisexuality doesn't exist, right? Oh, wait.

As feminists, I think it’s easy to forget that for all of the misrepresentations and misinformation delivered to us about what vulvas and vaginas "should" look like and how they "should" respond to sexual contact, equally tall tales about penile look and length abound.

Welcome to the H-Word, a series dedicated to evaluating, challenging, and re-presenting sex worker portrayals in the media from a feminist, pro-sex worker (though not necessarily pro-sex work) stance. If that seems contradictory or impossible, keep tuning in. Besides my perspective, this column will present first-person stories from individuals across the country and from all areas of the industry sharing a part of their story and describing their experiences. Sex workers speaking for themselves, about themselves?! It is not so radical an idea—why, straight white guys have been doing it since the beginning of time!

Last week K-Y released an ad featuring two ladies talking about their sex lives, and lubricant, and "special moments" represented by tasteful coital fireworks. They are both sitting on their bed in drab, comfortable clothes. And they have the following exchange:

(.doc transcript here)

It's time for another episode of Bitch Popaganda! Tune in as Ann, Kjerstin, and Kelsey discuss Erica Jong's Times op-ed "Is Sex Passé?," Ann Powers article for NPR "Pop's Punching Bag: Hating the Black Eyed Peas" (and how we feel about the Peas in general), and the new FX show Wilfred.



Transcript on the way soon!

On Facebook today, Marilyn Wann shared an article on CNN.com about the health benefits of touch. She added "If being fat makes a person 'untouchable,' then that's a powerful confounding variable for claims about weight and health." I definitely agree, and of course media don't present fat people as worthy of physical contact particularly of a sexual nature. However, I think we do need to recognize that sometimes we shield ourselves from anticipated rejection by shunning the desire for touch, which is in and of itself unhealthy. It's not always that no one wants to feel the tactile pleasures of your body. We have to open ourselves up to receiving the sensory experience of intimate touch, which requires us to feel safe not only with a partner but with ourselves. Unfortunately, society doesn't make this an easy job.

Here's my first installment answering your questions for the "Ask a Fat Girl" series. I thought it would be fun to record my answers by audio and include a transcript. Enjoy!

Transcript (PDF)

We're trying out a new feature on Sex and the Fat Girl, in which you get to ask me questions about sexuality, body image, etc. and I answer them here, in future posts. So please, let your inhibitions down, get curious, and start asking! Here's the link to the page where you can submit your questions: Ask a Fat Girl. Or, you can use the form below. I think this will be exciting, and I can't wait to get this conversation going.

There always comes a point, when someone asks me to write for them, that I decide it's time to write about sex.

When it comes to a column about music, that's not as difficult as you might think. Sex is everywhere in pop music—rock 'n' roll, hip hop, r&b, they're full of it. From the moment Elvis shimmied his hips on television, there's been something not just sexual, but transgressively sexual about music. From the moment there was a youth culture around music, we've used it to tell our parents that we were thinking about sex whether they liked it or not.

Mad World fans, take note! In cooperation with PSU’s Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies Department, we're hosting a Mad World intergenerational community forum!

Compromising Positions: Race and Sex in Advertising, A Mad World Intergenerational Community Forum

June 1, 2010 / 6:30pm Portland State University Smith Memorial Ballroom 1825 SW Broadway, Portland

Now you may be saying to yourself, "But Kelsey, this is a weekly discussion blog, not a place for you to talk about events! And besides, lots of us don't live close enough to attend!" Well, right you are to say those things to yourself. But take heart, because what this particular post is for is to get us talking about the forum topic: race and sex in advertising. (Though we really do want you to come to the forum, too!)