Rush Limbaugh

How much does it actually cost to raise children?

You might be thinking about the price of diapers, health insurance, or preschool programs when trying to work out a rough answer.  But don’t forget the $230 silver ballet shoes that your five year old will grow out of in a few months, or the $56 baby blanket, or the $500 bassinet.

Our culture is obsessed with all things celebrity, and has long been over concerned with the reproductive goings-on of our favorite stars. Is she pregnant or isn’t she? Did they use IVF? What was the birth like? How fast can she get her pre-baby body back? And then, after all that—what is the little one wearing?

Wait! Yes, you! Were you about to go buy some stamps? Be careful! According to the American Thinker, American stamps are "childish, silly, and racist"! Now, does that sound like something you'd want to support? Would you want to put "blacks no one has heard of" all over your nice envelope? The Thinker, an ironic title if ever there was one, certainly would NOT. We here at Bitch are henceforth renaming the conservative think tank the American Douchebag.

Saturday is upon us again, bringing with it late mornings, strolls in the park, treasure-filled estate sales, and. . . FEMINIST LOLZ! (Cue electric guitar solo here)

You know what they say, a lack of critical thinking killed the cat. This one should be okay then.



Oh, Rush Limbaugh. Maybe feminists can't stand you, but it looks like you've got a fan here with this walrus. Oh wait, I think she's being sarcastic. Never mind.



Women are the weaker sex, huh? I don't think you should have said that to this wolf.



A big thank you to our readers who have been sending us their hilarious LOLz! You can make your own here and send 'em to us here. Have a great weekend, and happy LOL-ing!

I know this week's Douchebag Decree doesn't come out until tomorrow, but I thought we could take a minute to prepare for it by discussing an O.G. Douchebag who has made some new gender waves over the past few days: Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh (a.k.a. Sir Douche-yness) has noticed a (gasp!) gender gap in his approval ratings as of late, and is planning to host a women's summit in order to figure out what he can do to get some ladies in his corner (you know, where he can better explain our shortcomings to us). An actual quote from rushlimbaugh.com:

I want some of these women to start telling me what it is I must do to close the gender gap -- or, if not what it is I must do to close the gender gap, what it is I've done that has caused the gender gap... What could I do to attract a higher favorability rating among more women in America? I own the men, and what must I do now to own women? And who better to ask than women? Including some of those who may agree that that I'm unfavorable. So stand by for that.

I know you are standing by right this minute with suggestions for good ol' Rush on how he might go about "owning" more women, so read on for more info and to pitch in your two cents!