Sometimes it seems futile to try and separate the wheat from the douche from week to week in politics. You just want to give up. I mean whyevenbother? But persevere, everyone, because this week we really got one. We found someone who's douchetastic, factually inaccurate intrusion into women's health actually made Rick Perry look reasonable. Her flagrant douchery even inspired an auxiliary wave of Internet slut-shaming. That's right, it's Michele Bachmann.
Last Thursday Twitter exploded with the news that House Republican Michele Bachmann, future failed Presidential hopeful, had signed "The Marriage Vow." The 14-point pledge was designed by Bob Vander Plaats of The Family Leader, a conservative Iowa hate tank that was responsible for recalling state supreme court justices who had ruled in favor of marriage equality. It includes several disturbing portions, not least of which is the racist preamble that waxes nostalgic about slavery. Candidates who sign the pledge promise to take certain steps to strengthen "traditional marriage"—banning pornography, ending abortion, and denying the legitimacy of all marriages except those between two heterosexuals of the opposite sex. Which is pretty funny, since the Internet has decided her husband is gay.
I expect that Vander Plaats, the founder of The Family Leader, will be glitterbombed soon. If Newt Gingrich got a dose of party supplies for his anti-gay stance and writings, surely some of the pink stuff is coming Plaats' way, for his having written that being gay leads to increased mortality. I don't think he's referring to hate crimes when he brings that up, either.
Who else is risking a date with decoration? Read my list after the jump!
Here's how I spent mine:
- Being disappointed upon discovering it wasn't Pro-Cupcake Life Day
- Eating leftover cupcakes from Bitch's clothing swap/supporting a woman's right to choose
- WONDERING WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
As Jonanna and Ray have pointed out below, although it's effing incredible Obama's our new president, local elections across the country left a lot to be desired.
One instance was Michele Bachmann, who just achieved a close victory over Democratic-endorsed, adorably-named Elwyn Tinklenberg in Minnesota's Congressional election, and is the first official recipient of the Bitch blog's Douchebag Decree, our new public service informing readers of douchebaggery near and far. Read on for this week's installment on Bachmann, proudly doing her part to set back feminism.