marriage

Well, the verdict is finally in, and it looks as though it IS in fact possible to be a bizarro douche in 140 characters or less. Today's trending Twitter topics include #dontcuffhim and #dontwifeher, and both offer a shit-covered window into the minds of Twitter's best and brightest gender stereotypists. (You know, like a typist who only writes about gender stereotypes. Zing!)

If you aren't clued in to Twitter trends are about, (what, do you have like, better things to do?) they are basically prompts or topics that wind their way through the Twitterverse as more and more users respond (using the # symbol to indicate their participation).

Today's trends are all about marriage, and why certain men and women aren't worth the trouble. Hold on to your hats, folks. It's gonna be a douche-y ride.

Wedding season is upon us again, but instead of focusing on that bridesmaid's dress fitting your cousin will kill you if you don't attend, why don't you focus on the only marriage that America cares about? You guessed it, the OBAMA MARRIAGE (that's right; it's in caps because it is so unbelievably important). Whether it's because they love to love it or love to hate it, members of the media can't seem to get enough of the OBAMA MARRIAGE lately. Some fun facts:

The Obamas go on dates!

Sometimes these dates happen in Paris!

Some husbands think Barack Obama is ruining their marriages by going on these dates!

Some single women are looking for their own Barack to take them on dates!

Back in the year 2000 (remember way back then?) the OBAMA MARRIAGE was in trouble! Could it be because they weren't going on enough dates?!?

At any rate, the media wants to go on a big, fat date with the OBAMA MARRIAGE and either propose to it and embarrass it in front of the whole restaurant, or stand it up and embarrass it in front of the whole restaurant, depending on who you ask. Why is that?

Well, well, well. Look who's joining the pomo party now that we're post-postmodernism. Why is the New York Times always so late to the game?