Mark Sanford

If aliens are evaluating whether to visit Earth and reveal their secrets of the universe, they had better not be looking at TMZ.com in their analysis, or they'd certainly reject the idea. Once again, two scandals about men who misappropriated technology and then lied about it have made headlines, and once again not much is happening because of it. If a politician or activist falls in the forest, will anyone notice? Here I've listed a few notable aspects of the "caught red-handed" denial game political operatives play. Gentlemen, consider yourselves prime candidates for the Douchebag Decree.

Andre Bauer, South Carolina's Lt. Governor, conflated the suffering of people and animals, threatened those on government assistance with unnecessary and unrelated stipulations to receiving their benefits, and used sexual shaming tactics and mocked decision-making abilities that he conflated with willpower, age and intelligence in an unusually insensitive speech on Friday.