kink

Writing this series has been amazing! Time for a few shout-outs to those who have helped the good ship Thinking Kink along its voyage...

Considering how restrictive so much kinky clothing is, when does sexy cross the line into sexist? Is shoe-horning oneself into corsets, latex or agonizingly high heels just part of fetishism, or is it just another way in which the female body is molded and manipulated? Today, I'm peeling back the PVC to find out...

Today, I'm reflecting on some of my trips to sex stores and consider the cost of kink, as well as how many stores pass the female-friendly test. Is having a decent kink toybox all about the Benjamins? And why do some sex stores still feel reserved for the dirty raincoat brigade?

Where are the kinky ladies who love to spank other ladies at? Unfortunately, in pop culture they're often squarely under the male gaze. In today's post, I turn to literature in search of more diverse representations of lesbian BDSM....

The female dominant (domme, dominatrix, domina, mistress, etc.) may appear to be a more defendable BDSM stereotype than that of the female submissive. On the surface, fem-doms invert negative stereotypes about female sexuality and the "female" personality. They are women who take control, who behave aggressively, who know what they want and demand it with force if necessary. In other words, they take on characteristics traditionally seen as "male." But while they may be accused of letting feminism down less often than their submissive sisters, dommes have it just as rough when it comes to the media.

“Like most things that are depicted in a problematic way, BDSM is subject to uninformed sweeping generalizations about what it looks, acts and feels like,”says writer Stacey May Fowles. Indeed any subculture can find itself badly misrepresented, especially when the media gets involved. So before we let loose on pop culture, let's consider and debunk some of the myths surrounding BDSM and the folks who participate in it...

In 1957, Elvis asked us to “Put a chain around my neck and lead me anywhere” in the song “Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear.” Fifty-five years and a whole lotta writhing, panting, and spanking later, pop culture’s fascination with BDSM still knows no bounds. So why, in the jaded, post–50 Shades 21st century, do kink and feminism still make uncomfortable bedfellows? Come with me on a journey through BDSM and pop culture to find out more...

Heads-up that the dates for the sixth annual Sexy Spring conference have been announced. Mark your calendars for June 5th to June 7th and make your way to Minneapolis for this radical, sex/body positive, sex education skill-share and conference.

This weekend, June 13th to June 15th is Sexy Spring, Minneapolis's radical, sex/body positive, sex education skill-share and conference.

The event is focused on exploring the ways sex, sexuality, relationships, our bodies, and our choices affect our lives. It's a weekend full of workshops, discussions, play, demonstrations, crafting, art shows, communal meals, telling stories, and sex/body performances and dancing.