There are few songs I like less than Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl.” I dislike most of her music (that skit she did with Elmo, however, is adorable), but “I Kissed A Girl” bothers me most of all. You’d think such a song would be tailor-made for me—after all, I have, in fact, kissed girls and liked it! But it’s really not a song for me, or for any other queer woman (even though I know queer women who like the song). It’s a song for straight men who have “lesbian” fantasies in which femme women make out with each other but don’t present any actual threat to male sexuality and dominance. It’s a song for straight women who find the idea of kissing other women to be a “scandalous” and fun way of entertaining men, but who ultimately aren’t romantically or sexually attracted to other women. It’s a song about false, constructed, performed bisexuality, and it isn’t doing anything to help the acceptance of non-monosexual folks.