News in tired feminist stereotypes has taken a turn for the weird in this month's issue of Harper's Bazaar. Fashion designer (and future zombie-lookalike contest winner) Karl Lagerfeld is the author of an article wherein he interviews the long-deceased Coco Chanel, playing the part of both the interviewer and subject by channeling Chanel from beyond the grave. (Hey, you were warned about the weirdness.)
At any rate, this might just be another example of extreme (and extremely creepy) fashion industry navel-gazing if it weren't for a few particularly obnoxious questions/answers by the zombie-esque Lagerfeld and his familiar, the actual zombie Chanel. (Fear not: Though Chanel is in fact answering questions from beyond the grave, there is no evidence yet to support her status as an actual zombie.) An excerpt from the "interview":
HB: Your clothing liberated women in the 1920s. Are you still a feminist?
CC: I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.
Puh-leez. Lagerfeld, are you serious? Can we EVER get away from the feminists-are-ugly attack? It looks like some people in the fashion industry are still using this insult even 38 years after they have DIED! Get over it already! And stop channeling dead people in order to take cheap shots at feminists! Not cool!
Not to give you an excuse to expand your carbon footprint or anything, but did you know that every time you forget your cloth bags at the grocery store you're probably making use of a woman-invented product? That's right; the flat-bottomed paper bag was invented by none other than feministorical innovator Margaret E. Knight, seen here in sketch-drawing form (unless this is how people actually looked in the 19th century):
Image courtesy of the children's book Marvelous Mattie: How Margaret E. Knight Became An Inventor
Though her life began as a child laborer in a cotton mill factory, Margaret Knight made a name for herself through engineering ingenuity. Read on for more!
It's the weekend again, and while in some cultures that might mean a well deserved break from work and an afternoon of drinking beer on the porch, here at the Bitch blog it means FEMINIZT LOLz! (You know you love 'em.)
And this bitch has been catcalled dogcalled one too many times this summer:
Have a great weekend, feminizts! And as always, we lovez it wen u makez ur own feminizt lolz. You can do just that by visiting the I Can Has Cheezburger LOL builder and sending your creations to us here. kthxbai!
The Seth MacFarlane creation that is "Family Guy" has built a reputation on poking animated fun at everything from race to religion to sexuality issues over the course of its seven seasons on the air. However, according to a press release from last week's Comic Con there is one issue that is just too taboo, even for a show that routinely makes rape jokes. That issue? Abortion.
Alert the office manager: We need to order some new parchment from the office supply company, cuz there were so many sports-related Douchebag Decrees to be handed out this last week, we can't keep up. You'll be glad to know, for instance, that gamblers aren't getting all bent out of shape about Ben Roethlisberger's rape accusation.
But what really brought out the douchebag in people was the Erin Andrews situation. Take, for instance, the mind-shredding audacity of Deadspin.com, particularly the site's former editor Will "All-of-a-Sudden-I-Feel-Sort-of-Guilty" Leitch, who after years of gleefully providing a forum for a particularly creepy—and tediously predictable—brand of hipster-jock misogyny, now is trying to distance himself from the whole Andrews debacle.
One of my secret favorite things about the internet is the abundance of fan and homemade videos. I can spend hours watching low-budget versions of musical routines, celebrity reaction videos, and home movies featuring animals. As you may know, I am also a self-taught student of the Twilight craze, so fan-made Twilight videos are like the frosting on my internet cake. There are SO MANY. Here is one that I watched yesterday:
We realize that we're already making you feel bad about your hair, breasts, lips, butt, legs, and overall body type, but our work is far from over. We would now like to introduce you to a new, hopefully self-esteem-lowering, chock-full-o-side-effects cosmetic designed to make you feel like your F*ING EYELASHES aren't good enough. Please watch the following video, feel the requisite amount of inadequacy, ignore the dangers, and write your doctor a big fat check for some LATISSE today.