In a previous post about beauty standards/ideals, I suggested that fat women loving their bodies and viewing themselves as beautiful subverts the dominant beauty paradigm. One method of expressing your love for your body is through the action of dressing it according to your own personal style—whether you're a full-blown fatshionista or a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl. I specifically want to discuss the mindset of the former, those who embrace fat fashion as a way to resist cultural beauty standards.
This is the last edition of Ask a Fat Girl for a while. Today we talk about classes on sizeism, first time sex, "compliments" on weight loss, what I do when I'm feeling down on myself, and more!
If fat is a feminist issue, why don't we challenge the dominant view that beauty is a viable concept instead of just accepting that unilateral standards of beauty exist and trying to shoehorn fat women into the "beautiful" category?
Here's the third installment of the Ask a Fat Girl series! Today we discuss cunnilingus for fat girls, being an "inbetweenie," lights-on, on-top sex, hourglass figures, fashion rebels, dating people thinner than you and more!
Hey! Here's the second edition of Ask a Fat Girl. This time we're talking about dudes who are in denial about being attracted to fat girls, good positions for two fat people to have sex in, how to deal with unwanted attention from fat fetishists, comparing yourself to skinny friends and more! Take a listen...
I talk a lot about lingerie, perfume, makeup etc. as ways for fat girls to feel sexy/enhance sensual feelings. These are all fine and good ways to do so—but what if your particular groove doesn't mesh with the more "femme" style of sexiness? Not every fat girl feels hot in skimpy nightclothes or red lipstick, and that's not necessarily because they don't feel good about how they look. Some fat women might find the pinnacle of sexiness in wearing boxers and a tank top. In a culture in which gender conformity is expected of not just fat women but all women, how does society treat fat girls who don't conform to gender stereotypes or engage in traditionally feminine behaviors?
In real life dating, as in pop culture, fatness is often treated as something a person has to overcome in order to be considered an acceptable romantic partner. The trope of the fat girl with the "great personality" ("great personality" being a common code phrase for "ugly" or "fat") who triumphs over dating adversity and finds a date who is able to see past the fat is commonly used in movies, television, and pretty much any other form of entertainment.
We're trying out a new feature on Sex and the Fat Girl, in which you get to ask me questions about sexuality, body image, etc. and I answer them here, in future posts. So please, let your inhibitions down, get curious, and start asking! Here's the link to the page where you can submit your questions: Ask a Fat Girl. Or, you can use the form below. I think this will be exciting, and I can't wait to get this conversation going.
Sometimes it seems like we're bombarded by study after study telling us fat girls that unless we fit a certain body type, we're doomed to be relegated to the "unattractive" bin. If your fat happens to settle into an "hourglass" or "pear" shape, your fat is more likely to be seen as "OK" by the dominant culture.
A little over two years ago, "World's Fattest Man" Manuel Uribe married his fiance Claudia Solis to the clucking dismay of fat haters everywhere. How could she be sexually attracted to someone so fat? How do they even have sex? When the answer to the latter question came in, you could almost see the horrified faces: His friends constructed a "sex ramp" that enabled him to consummate his marriage. The idea of fat people having sex has long been a source of asshole-ish commentary and thinly veiled (if you're lucky) disgust. And yet, we fat people keep going on and getting it on.