Douchebag Decree

South African runner Caster Semenya has been making international news for a week or so now, and this week's Douchebag Decree is honor of those news outlets and blogs that have handled the blown-out-of-proportion debate over Semenya's gender the worst. It turns out that not only are pundits and bloggers jerks about Semenya herself, but have some other unfortunate sexist hangups as well. Let's see what this gang of douchebags had to say, featuring supplemental douchey content the comments from the original posts and a Douchebag Decree honorable mention!

"It's like AskMen.com but with fewer readers!"

Touted by its editors as "Your Daily Dose of Counter-Theory," the folks at Men's News Daily strive to unveil the truth about what it means to "be a man." By reading their mission statement, I learned a great number of things about both men (the "direct sex"...I'm not really sure what this means...when I Googled "the direct sex" my first results included a "Live Video Chat with Hot Girls" and instructions on how to direct a sex scene) and women (the "fair sex"). For instance, did you know that...

--"the entire world—with its roads, buildings, places of worship, homes, medicines, appliances, and scholarship—was forged and crafted almost exclusively by male hands"? Yup. No men = no mosques, nowhere to live, and certainly nothing of use in either the medical or engineering fields.

--if you consider yourself a 'radical,' you probably are fond of pretending that "the birth of every boy is the moment in which a potential Manson or proto-rapist has entered the world"?

--"males are told that the only route to salvation is feminization"? Additionally, men "must parrot the traits, aspirations, affectations, and behaviors of the fair sex even though their moods are conspicuously less rosy than our own." What!? Men are supposed to be like women in every sense even though everyone knows women are bitches!? I had no idea.

--socialism is to blame for the current state of affiars (i.e., the marginalization of men in society). You know what that means: that gosh darn no good socialist Barack HUSSEIN Obama is behind the winding "road to serfdom" modern Western men find themselves traveling upon.

The mission closes with the following words of real HOPE and CHANGE:

"MensNewsDaily.com was founded in 2001 and remains a sanctuary for men. It is one of the few remaining places where a man can be a man without apology. We thank you for visiting, but encourage you to join us in our mission. Welcome brothers!"

Where a man can be a man...MND, you aren't affiliated with Ketel One Vodka, are you?

 

Read on for more pearls of wisdom from the wise brothers of MND.