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Douchebag Decree

Douchebag Decree: The 10 Douchiest Reactions to the Sandy Hook Tragedy

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on December 20, 2012 - 9:02am; tagged Douchebag Decree, roundup.

"ye olde douchebag decree" in blue letters with a light blue hand-drawn douchebag in the background, and "BITCH HEREBY DECLARES THE FOLLOWING PERSON A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG" in small letters in red underneath.



Regardless of political leanings, gender, religion, or creed, you'd think we could all agree that what happened last week at Sandy Hook Elementary School was a national tragedy that deserves our sympathy and respect. You'd be wrong.
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30 comments

10 Reasons: Our Douchebag Decree Delivers Weekly Excoriation of What to Avoid—and How to Push Back.

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on December 12, 2012 - 7:31pm; tagged 10 reasons, Douchebag Decree.
gray 10 reasons logo

Over the past four years, the Douchebag Decree has become one of the most popular features on the Bitch blogs. Not because Bitch readers love douching—we know you don’t!—but because smart, savvy, feminist Bitch readers want to know when someone in the media steps out of line. Whether it’s signing a petition to stop the exploitation of girls or boycotting yet another "Just for Men" product, our weekly Douchebag Decrees let readers know what to avoid and what actions to take to push back. And let's just admit it—calling a douche a douche can be kinda therapeutic (and fun, too).
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1 comment

Douchebag Decree: Mae West and Frida Kahlo's Legacies Co-Opted in the Name of Feminine Hygiene Products

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on November 29, 2012 - 12:11am; tagged Douchebag Decree, feminine care products.
Every once in a while, the stars align and we bestow Ye Olde Decree—named for a feminine hygiene product—on an actual feminine hygiene product. Today is one of those star-aligning days: Meet this week's Decreed Douchebag, Damiva.

ad that reads Drier than a British comedy? Honey you are not alone.
Joke's on you—I LIKE British comedies.
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8 comments

Douchebag Decree: Fujitsu's Feminine Laptops, Because Pink and Purple Pens weren't Enough

Douchebag Decree post by Lisa Knisely on November 8, 2012 - 9:13am; tagged computers, Douchebag Decree, marketing, technology.

 

Back in August, our web editor commented on the sexism of the “BIC for Her” feminine pen debacle. She opened her blog with the quip: “Thank God I'm typing this post on a laptop, because ladies like me need special, feminine pens to write longhand these days.” 

Yeah, about that. I’ve got some bad news.

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14 comments

Douchebag Decree: Ann Coulter vs. Richard Mourdock—It's a Douche-Off!

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on October 26, 2012 - 9:41am; tagged Ann Coulter, Douchebag Decree, rape.
My what a douche-y week! In desperate times like these, we feminists have only one option.... A douche-off! In one corner, we have Ann "R-word tweeter" Coulter, an awful person if there ever was one. In the other corner we have Richard "God intended rape pregnancies" Mourdock, who is also terrible. Two douches enter, one douche leaves!
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16 comments

Douchebag Decree: What We Talk About When We Talk About Free Speech. (Spoiler Alert: Usually, Your Right to See Boobs)

Douchebag Decree post by Andi Zeisler on October 18, 2012 - 3:06pm; tagged Douchebag Decree, gawker, internet culture, Michael Brutsch.

Michael Brutsch, aka ViolentAcrez

Some weeks you just want to burn down the whole Internet, and—well, until yesterday's torrent of hilarious post-debate memes, anyway—this has undoubtedly been one of those weeks.

Last Friday afternoon, as you might have heard, or read, or absorbed via social-media osmosis, Gawker's Adrian Chen posted a long, suspenseful post that unmasked a guy named Michael Brutsch, a 49-year-old Texan who for years has been one of Reddit's most prolific and most disturbing contributors. Known online as ViolentAcrez, Brutsch created "subreddits," or forums, with titles like "Incest," "Chokeabitch," "Rapebait," and "PicsofDeadJailbait," and oh so many more, and was one of the main curators of the lately notorious "Creepshots" forums, in which dudes post photos of women taken surreptitiously in public, in order to perv out on both the photos themselves and their nonconsensual provenance.

This isn't a Douchebag Decree about Michael Brutsch, however.

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13 comments

Douchebag Decree: Andrew Goldman and the Tippi point for social-media jerkery

Douchebag Decree post by Andi Zeisler on October 11, 2012 - 11:21am; tagged Andrew Goldman, Douchebag Decree, new york times.

Here's a brief test of étiquette. You're a writer accused of asking an inappropriate question to a famous actor in a national magazine. Another writer takes you to task for what she sees as a history of this kind of inappropriateness. Your response?

a.) Ignore the criticism—you can't please everyone, right?

b.) Explain yourself—you really didn't intend to offend.

c.) Promptly imply that the other writer is jealous and unfuckable.

If you answered c.), hey! You must be Andrew Goldman! Step right up here to accept this week's Douchebag Decree.

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8 comments

Douchebag Decree: Elizabeth Wurtzel Thinks You're Ugly

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on August 23, 2012 - 12:58pm; tagged Douchebag Decree, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Harper's Bazaar.
Douchebag Decree logo in red and blue letters it says Ye Olde Douchebag Decree. Bitch hereby declares the following person a total douchebag

Elizabeth Wurtzel, lawyer, memoirist and pretty lady, is heartbroken that you aren't trying harder to look hot. And what's worse? You're ruining feminism.
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23 comments

Douchebag Decree: Don't Let Chick-fil-A Distract You From the Douchiness that is the Latest Hooters Campaign

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on August 2, 2012 - 12:24pm; tagged breastaurants, Douchebag Decree, Hooters, sexist advertising.
The new Hooters campaign features two owl puppets—a devil and an angel—meant to represent the internal conflict many customers face when eating fried food at what is basically the world's least gratifying strip club. On the one hand, you consider yourself a nice person, but on the other hand, you want to objectify women while you eat lunch! What to do???

a white guy at a hooters sitting between two waitresses
You eat at Hooters, duh. Also seriously, how is one guy supposed to eat all that food?
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12 comments

Douchebag Decree: Sexist Olympic Advertising

Douchebag Decree post by Morgan Hecht on July 23, 2012 - 10:45am; tagged advertising, Douchebag Decree, espn, Olympics, sports.

The Olympics started as an über-macho, male-only competition in ancient Greece. While a lot has changed since then, women are still facing sexism when it comes to the Games.

Olympic rings

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