Douchebag Decree

The ACLU is suing this week's Douchebag Decree recipient for being a gigantic douche. OK, so Austin Couch, principal of Churubusco High School in Indiana, is actually being sued for free speech violation, but that's just lawyer speak for douchiness, right? At any rate, Principal Couch suspended two CHS sophomores from all extracurricular activities last month because they posted photos of themselves on their MySpace pages looking too darned sexy. He calls it principal-ing, but we (and the ACLU) call it slut-shaming.

You girls are officially suspended for having bodies!

Urban contemporary art magazine Juxtapoz's November issue is the Robert Williams issue, a big-hitter in the underground comics scene and the magazine's founder. Oh, and he drives feminists up the wall with the way his artwork objectifies women. *NSFW and possibly triggering images after the break.*

Fans of Bravo's Top Chef this season know there's been one "cheftestant" that everyone with a remote control and an appetite for snarkiness loooves to hate: Douche de la Semaine Mike Isabella. And what's not to hate? Mike I. (not to be confused with Mike V., who is slightly less hate-able) is arrogant, sexist, annoying, loud-mouthed, and just not that funny. So, not to be left off of the "Mike Isabella is a Giant Ass" train, I am awarding him this week's Douchebag Decree.


Congratulations! You're a winner!

Read on for more, but beware: Spoiler (and Douche) Alert!

 

Ugh, you know when you've been hired as an editor at Playboy, a job that is only given to the most talented, intelligent, amazing dudes ever, and they make you write the bios for the stupid Playmates? Like, completely wasting your talent and intelligence and amazingness on some brainless woman who's just a "blank slate with cleavage"? John Blumenthal sure does. Oh, what's that? You don't know who John Blumenthal is? Hmm...that's weird, because according to him he's pretty much the greatest thing ever. But according to us, he's the recipient of this week's Douchebag Decree (highest honor, yet, Johnny, I'm sure). Read more about his painstaking minutes talking to those brick walls with boobs after the jump!

I only ever flipped through Archie comics while waiting in line to buy groceries, bored by the overwhelming whiteness of Riverdale and confused by Jughead’s hat. But it always seemed weird that a series about such a squeaky-clean golly-gee group of teenagers revolved around something as potentially controversial as vague polyamory. The series is over 70 years old, and its technology has changed with the times (Betty blogs and Veronica snaps pictures with her camera phone) but its gender politics are completely outdated. Betty’s worship of Archie is portrayed throughout the series as admirable loyalty rather than creepy unrequited dependency, while Archie’s inability to retain even a casual commitment to just one girl is framed as… completely normal. So this week's Douchebag Decree goes to you, Archie Andrews, you sly dog. Make up your mind.