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Dear Adam Lambert,

We need to talk. 

I'm going to come out and say something right now, Adam Lambert: I don't get you. I know a lot of people were really excited about you when you were on American Idol. Just the fact that you existed, and were doing well on the show, seemed to be making them happy. And those people usually seemed to be coming from a very sweet, genuine place. I mean, I don't want to reduce you to your sexuality, but: you made a lot of people feel good, apparently, just by accepting your sexuality and not ever really steering away from it and doing a good job on a show that relies on winning over the American public. I'm happy that you made people feel that good. It's a worthwhile pursuit. Good job.