Welcome to the latest installment of Ms. Opinionated, in which readers have questions about the pesky day-to-day choices we all face, and I give advice about how to make ones that (hopefully) best reflect our shared commitment to feminist values—as well as advice on what to do when they don't.
Dear Ms. Opinionated,I'm involved in two healthy, fulfilling polyamorous relationships. I am wondering how to navigate social situations where there is talk about relationships. I'm not ashamed of the way I live and love, even though some might consider it odd or morally wrong.
For better or worse, I tend to pay close attention to public figures who come out of the closet. I feel strange about doing so because ultimately, knowing someone's sexual orientation shouldn't change one's perception of them. But instinctually, I find myself drawn to celebrities when they begin publicly identifying as a part of the LGBT community. I believe it's part of human nature to look for images in the media that resemble one's own experience, so that one can feel a sense of belonging that may be lacking in daily life. It's important to be respectful of privacy and individual reasons for choosing not to come out publicly, but I also believe that there's real power in standing up and being counted. I look for images of bisexuality in real life whenever I can, and since most people I know identify as monosexual, I often turn to the media.
So you can imagine my surprise when I was Googling bisexual celebrities yesterday and discovered that, a little more than a year ago, Evangelical pastor Ted Haggard nearly came out as bisexual. I completely missed this news story the first time around, but I'm glad I finally found it, because it counters a concern I've had for a long time: In arenas like politics and religion, many people don't seem to know how to come out as bisexual.
You don't have to look further than "Girl Fuck: An introduction to girl-on-girl lovin'" to see that Erika Moen is all about sex, and completely unafraid to talk about it. The 16-page zine is a starter course for those clueless in non-hetero girl sex, and includes some guidelines from Gender Bending 101. Her work is in the Best Erotic Comics of 2008 and her comic "Silver Bullet" was in the second True Porn Anthology, another erotic comics collection. But her work isn't all tits and wiggles (rhymes with shits and giggles? No? Okay). Her 2004 self-published "I like Girls" is Moen's intensely personal story on falling in love with a girl for the first time and the intimidating task of telling her family. Read on for cunts, cartoons, and controversy...NSFW what!