coming out

Welcome to the latest installment of Ms. Opinionated, in which readers have questions about the pesky day-to-day choices we all face, and I give advice about how to make ones that (hopefully) best reflect our shared commitment to feminist values—as well as advice on what to do when they don't.

Dear Ms. Opinionated, I'm involved in two healthy, fulfilling polyamorous relationships. I am wondering how to navigate social situations where there is talk about relationships. I'm not ashamed of the way I live and love, even though some might consider it odd or morally wrong.

Well, this has been an exciting week!

• As you've probably heard, Andersoon Cooper came out earlier this week. Super exciting to hear, but here's why when straight people say things like "it's about time?" or "why did he even have to come out in the first place?" it's rude, entitled, silencing, and downright annoying. [Tiger Beatdown]
• Speaking of coming out, has Frank Ocean changed the game? He released an incredibly powerful statement via Tumblr, which is stirring up some commotion in the often homophobic world of hip-hop, and is also creating a lot of tender feelings. Excuse me while a tear up a little—his mom is super proud and said he's an "incredible human being." [Ebony/Tumblr/Colorlines]
• Rookie is releasing its fancy first print edition in September! This is so exciting! Are you excited? [Rookie]
• Did you see that "Booty Pop" video? Tami Winfrey Harris breaks it—and the stereotype of the hypersexual black male—down for you. [Clutch]
• Anti-choice legislation strikes again! First New Jersey, and now North Carolina is to defund Planned Parenthood—an estimated $200,000 will be stripped from the state's two remaining Planned Parenthood affiliates. [Ms. Blog]
• Objectification or empowerment? Caroline Heldman has devised the Sex Object Test to measure the presence of sexual objectification in an image. [Sociological Images]
• Hey, look! Wal-Mart is still horrible, and the Supreme Court doesn't care about the oppression of women. [Autostraddle]
• June Thomas talks about the history of closed captioning, and how streaming online content ignores deaf viewers. [Slate]
• Catch up on your queer history. United in Anger: A History of ACT UP, a film by Jim Hubbard, is being screened in a few places this month (NYC, Philly, LA, DC, I'm talkin' to you), and you should go see it!
• Check out this awesome video of Janet Mock and Isis King on media representations of trans women. [In The Life Media]
• Portland update: The second annual Portland Queer Music Festival is coming up on July 22nd, and half of it is all-ages! Pre-sale tickets are available now!

What have you been reading, musing, raging, or raving about? Share your thoughts in the comments!

For better or worse, I tend to pay close attention to public figures who come out of the closet. I feel strange about doing so because ultimately, knowing someone’s sexual orientation shouldn’t change one’s perception of them. But instinctually, I find myself drawn to celebrities when they begin publicly identifying as a part of the LGBT community. I believe it’s part of human nature to look for images in the media that resemble one’s own experience, so that one can feel a sense of belonging that may be lacking in daily life. It’s important to be respectful of privacy and individual reasons for choosing not to come out publicly, but I also believe that there’s real power in standing up and being counted. I look for images of bisexuality in real life whenever I can, and since most people I know identify as monosexual, I often turn to the media.

So you can imagine my surprise when I was Googling bisexual celebrities yesterday and discovered that, a little more than a year ago, Evangelical pastor Ted Haggard nearly came out as bisexual. I completely missed this news story the first time around, but I’m glad I finally found it, because it counters a concern I’ve had for a long time: In arenas like politics and religion, many people don’t seem to know how to come out as bisexual.

Fighting the stigma against mental illness is an ongoing battle, and often an uphill one, as illustrated by many of the posts in this series. Sometimes it seems like we make two strides backward for every stride we take forward in terms of reframing the way people think, talk about, and handle mental illness. A slew of stigma-fighting campaigns have erupted in the last few years; Stamp Out Stigma in the UK, a US version, Bring Change 2 Mind, Time to Change, and many others. Despite the efforts of such campaigns, stigma and discrimination against people with mental illness continue to be problems, illustrating that we have a long way to go.

Links, links, links!

• Salon explores the implications of the fate of the Wonder Woman show described in Jennifer K. Stuller's podcast. (Spoiler alert: It's not going to air.)
• Muslimah Media Watch writes of Arab women and democracy.
• ColorLines speaks of CNN anchor Don Lemon's coming-out (good for him!) and their hopes that analysis of the intersection of racism and homophobia will go further.
• In the gross-but-perhaps-unsurprising file: ColorLines also discusses Ron Paul's stance against the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Meanwhile, Mother Jones compiles his "15 Most Extreme Positions."
• In better news, Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen provides numbers indicating increasing support for QUILTBAG rights, even in conservative circles, for HuffPo.
• Liz of Our Turn proposes a Bechdel Test for politics.
• On AlterNet, Bitch contributor Brittany Shoot interviews Will Potter on his new book about the law's disproportionate punishments for environmental activists like himself.
• TransGriot shares author Janet Mock's "It Gets Better" video.
• Bitch contributor s.e. smith unpacks the victim-blaming media surrounding the leader of the International Monetary Fund's arrest for sexual assault on Tiger Beatdown.
• The divine Kate Harding blogs about this same IMF coverage, the media surrounding Schwarzenegger, and what it all implies about the USA's troubling confusion between consensual affairs and assault. (via AlterNet)
• AfterEllen relates Tegan and Sara member Sara Quin's response to rapper Tyler the Creator's misogyny and homophobia.
• Ms. speculates on why vibrators still aren't mainstream.
• Are you in NYC? Mark your calendar for next weekend's release party for Original Plumbing's Green Issue!

Et tu?

After actress Meredith Baxter came out to Matt Lauer on The Today Show this morning, the headlines began:

"Family Times" Shocker: Meredith Baxter says "I'm a Lesbian Mom"
Meredith Baxter reveals she's gay
'80s Star Admits She's a Lesbian

You don’t have to look further than "Girl Fuck: An introduction to girl-on-girl lovin’" to see that Erika Moen is all about sex, and completely unafraid to talk about it. The 16-page zine is a starter course for those clueless in non-hetero girl sex, and includes some guidelines from Gender Bending 101. Her work is in the Best Erotic Comics of 2008 and her comic "Silver Bullet" was in the second True Porn Anthology, another erotic comics collection.
But her work isn't all tits and wiggles (rhymes with shits and giggles? No? Okay). Her 2004 self-published "I like Girls" is Moen’s intensely personal story on falling in love with a girl for the first time and the intimidating task of telling her family. Read on for cunts, cartoons, and controversy...NSFW what!