Cliff Pervocracy

Writing this series has been amazing! Time for a few shout-outs to those who have helped the good ship Thinking Kink along its voyage...

Considering how restrictive so much kinky clothing is, when does sexy cross the line into sexist? Is shoe-horning oneself into corsets, latex or agonizingly high heels just part of fetishism, or is it just another way in which the female body is molded and manipulated? Today, I'm peeling back the PVC to find out...

In light of the Daniel Tosh firestorm this week, I probably don’t need to make the point that joking about sexual abuse is harmful, not funny. However, in the context of kink, a subculture that's already too often treated with mocking or irreverence, it’s worth restating. Safewords are necessary, non-negotiable, and not a joke.

This is the second part of a two-part series on female submission and oppression. Read the first post here.

The woman who admits to enjoying sexual submission often finds herself stuck between the rock of a sexist society that tells her she's just exemplifying women's true nature, and the hard place of a feminist community that considers her brainwashed by the patriarchy. Why is a female submissive so rarely accepted as "a woman just plain getting her rocks off," Cliff Pervocracy wonders? A deeply unhelpful media may be part of the answer. As feminist kinkster Mollena Williams, co-author of Playing Well With Others, points out, "If people see the imagery of BDSM, whips, chains, pain, the serial killers of film and television...? Of course they may be repelled and confused." That itself doesn’t make an activity wrong, or anti-feminist. The feminists who condemn female submissives "mistake their sexual preferences for a universal system that will or should work for everyone," says pro-BDSM feminist Gayle Rubin. When women's sexual behavior is subject to negative scrutiny and found "wanting" by other women, it isn't feminism—it's bigotry, often fueled by little more than personal prejudices.

“Like most things that are depicted in a problematic way, BDSM is subject to uninformed sweeping generalizations about what it looks, acts and feels like,”says writer Stacey May Fowles. Indeed any subculture can find itself badly misrepresented, especially when the media gets involved. So before we let loose on pop culture, let's consider and debunk some of the myths surrounding BDSM and the folks who participate in it...