Carrie Underwood

There's a script for women in commercial country music that doesn't necessarily coincide with more mainstream stereotypes and assumptions about women. If you've ever heard Carrie Underwood's ubiquitous 2007 single, "Before He Cheats" (lyrics), you'll recognize the tropes.

Of course there are exceptions, but the ideal country woman is often blond (and white), feisty, world-wise, and hot. She is deeply possessive of her man, and aims to squelch competitors for his affection. She gives the appearance of working-class roots even if she didn't grow up working class, and she's equally comfortable talking about guns (Miranda Lambert's "Gunpowder and Lead"), Jesus (Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel"), and heterosexual romantic relationships (Dixie Chicks' "Cowboy Take Me Away").

One of the newer variations on these themes is the girl group Pistol Annies (Miranda Lambert, Ashley Monroe, and Angaleena Presley). Check out the first single of their August LP, Hell on Heels (lyrics):

PETA is in some hot water (again) for using first lady Michelle Obama's image in one of their ads without her permission. PETA pres Ingrid Newkirk says they didn't get Obama's permission because, well, they knew she would have said no. Since this is the same rationale I used when I "borrowed" my mom's car before I had a driver's license, I happen to know firsthand that the I-didn't-ask-because-you'd-say-no excuse doesn't work too well. Here's the ad:

Break ups can be a real bitch, can't they? Wouldn't it be nice if both parties could just go their separate ways, cordially, without rancor, and without, say, the desire to take a Louisville slugger to anyone's headlights, to make harassing phone calls at dinnertime, name-calling, jealousy, screaming, crying on the kitchen floor, all five stages of grief, begging, pity parties, ill-advised sex, or way-too-long Dear John messages left on answering machines?

Well, here's a li'l mixtape to get all of that out of your (or your ex's) system, for any future break ups you might experience. These artists do all the heavy emotional lifting--and tire-slashing--so you don't have to. Once played, this mix will enable the listener to make a crime-free, self-respecting, graceful exit. I guarantee it.