break ups

Break ups can be a real bitch, can't they? Wouldn't it be nice if both parties could just go their separate ways, cordially, without rancor, and without, say, the desire to take a Louisville slugger to anyone's headlights, to make harassing phone calls at dinnertime, name-calling, jealousy, screaming, crying on the kitchen floor, all five stages of grief, begging, pity parties, ill-advised sex, or way-too-long Dear John messages left on answering machines?

Well, here's a li'l mixtape to get all of that out of your (or your ex's) system, for any future break ups you might experience. These artists do all the heavy emotional lifting--and tire-slashing--so you don't have to. Once played, this mix will enable the listener to make a crime-free, self-respecting, graceful exit. I guarantee it.