BitchTapes

Maybe it's time to reclaim karaoke, stop singing along to Paul Anka, and find some new hits. Or maybe just start a Rihanna cover band. Karaoke is cool again, and your grandparents will vouch for that and say it never wasn't cool.

So, for your listening pleasure and newfound or renewed appreciation for the art of karaoke, here are some sexy songs (and some previously unsexy songs) covered by badass musicians who I totally love. Add these songs to your karaoke repertoire and you'll totally be the star of the party.

The Karaoke(y) To My Heart from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

This Too Shall Pass from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

It's one of those weeks—the kind where you wake up hating everything, and it's hard to decipher exactly why. Maybe it's a combination of things—perhaps it's the weird teen angst hangover of your early 20's, or you're missing somebody, or maybe you took the comments section of a blog post too personally, or maybe it's none of that and you're just sad because people have feelings, and that's okay. Tears build up like a raging river, held back by the dam that is your eyelids. You continue your day by wallowing, writing a sad letter, sitting amongst unfolded laundry, and unfinished crafts. Then, as soon as you think it's all starting to feel better, something else happens and your face becomes Niagara Falls. And it's nothing that hugs and nice words can mend because your feelings are serious business. But maybe next week will be better. You can only hope.

Here are some songs to accompany a sad day/mad day/bad day, which will probably only make you more upset, but sometimes it's what we need, right?

Blood, Sweat, and Queers from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

I have now been here for exactly a month, and we're finally getting consistently beautiful weather. I'm glad that person who said the weather would be literally perfect after July 4th wasn't lying. But really. The ten-day forecast predicts sun every single day with a 0% chance of rain. You heard me correctly, 0% chance. Portland, I see what y'all have been looking forward to. I sure as heck wouldn't want to be boiling in the heatwave in the mid-Atlantic right now. That is not what the precious pomp on my head needs. Nooooo, thank you.

So, now that things are getting hot 'n' sweaty, you need to be geared up, right? Sun block, check. Muscle tee, check. Cut-off shorts, check. Phresh summer haircut, check. Comfy dancing shoes, check. Cuties to dance with... wait, did I say geared up? I meant queered up. Here's a bunch of jams by some super fun queer folx who will help you get yr Portland (or wherever you are) summer officially rollin'. Hey, and some of these steamy queers are playing this summer in a town maybe near you! Yay!

Water! It's pretty important and beautiful and easy to use as a metaphor, so it turns out there are a lot of great songs about it. This mix features songs from Rae Spoon, Your Heart Breaks, Kimya Dawson, and Mos Def. Enjoy!

BitchTapes: Some Songs About Water from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

Forward! from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

The word “forward” keeps popping up in my sphere. Wisconsinites wielded it during their recent recall election (it’s their state motto). Obama has chosen it as his new campaign slogan.

I’ve decided to adapt it as my personal slogan as well. My life has gone in about a million different directions over the last year—I finished school, went through a major break-up, threw stability to the wind and moved halfway across the country. I know I’m not alone in feeling uncertain about the direction my life will take from here (it is graduation season after all), but that doesn’t make moving forward any easier.

So, to those of you who aren’t sure where you’re going either: I made this “forward”-themed mix for you. Track list after the jump!

Give Me My Sultry Summer from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

I've been here for less than a week, and this Pacific Northwest weather is not quite clicking with my system yet. I wake up in the morning, birds are chirping at my window, the sun is gleaming on my face, and it appears to be beautiful, then I step outside and it's cold. There's a giant grey cloud looming overhead, but it's sunny across the street, and just when you think the weather is going to be fine, it starts to rain? Someone tell me this changes soon. All I'm hearing is that summers here are the best, but I feel like I'm being lied to.

Here are ten songs (kinda, sorta) about patriarchy, because, deep down inside, isn't pretty much every song about patriarchy?

For me, the 1920s stand out as one of the coolest times to be alive. The music, the parties, the changes in social mores, the fashion, the burgeoning of film and radio. (This is of course, with rose-tinted glasses neglecting the poverty, the subjugation of classes, ethnicities, and women—not to mention the violence brought on by prohibition.) Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby introduces high school English classes everywhere to the roaring twenties and its lavish galas filled with copious amounts of glamour and booze—set to a soundtrack of swinging tunes.

On the other hand, the trailer for Baz Luhrmann's Great Gatsby, released this week, gives us a Leo Dicaprio trying his best Paul Newman imitation and an indulgent take on an already-indulgent literary masterpiece. This includes using contemporary music instead of music from the renowned Jazz Age (didn't we learn this was a bad idea from A Knight's Tale?).

To right this terrible wrong, here's a playlist of some of the period's finest. (Sorry Yeezy and Hov, but Bessie Smith makes for a better Jazz Age soundtrack than Watch the Throne does.) You're encouraged to play these songs while watching the trailer or when re-watching episodes of Boardwalk Empire. More bathtub gin please...

Gatsby's Jazz Age from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

Track list after the jump!

Heat Wave from BitchTapes on 8tracks.

It's about to get really hot in Texas. Like, really hot. Our social calendars here in the Lone Star State will soon be limited to the following activities:

• Seek cold water
• Bathe in cold water
• Drink cold water
• Drink Lone Star
• Sweat
• Open Facebook relationships with Air Conditioners.

And I'd like to add one to the list. Listen to music about MORE HOT THINGS! This week's BitchTapes is one big missile, heat-seeking a groove. DON'T FORGET TO HYDRATE. Track list after the jump!

There are a lot of young women emcees out there right now making great hip hop that's political, sexy, and fun. Here are ten tracks by artists that should be on your radar! Track list after the jump.

Hip Hoppers from BitchTapes on 8tracks.