BDSM

Writing this series has been amazing! Time for a few shout-outs to those who have helped the good ship Thinking Kink along its voyage...

Last post I looked at those for whom playing with racialized imagery in kink is too close to the bone. Today I'm turning my attention to the the black artists and performers who refused to be silenced in their desire to push boundaries.

As with the issue of female sexual submission, racial imagery in a BDSM context is an issue apt to cause heated debates, so I want to include both sides of the argument. Today, I’ll examine the objections to the use of racialized imagery in kink, and in my next post I’ll look at the responses by those who defend it.

Back in 1983, Frankie said "Relax" and a media unsettled by gay S&M did the exact opposite. A generation later, we pride ourselves on being a little cooler with queerness and BDSM, but I suspect there are still some double standards when it comes to gay men getting kinky....

Considering how restrictive so much kinky clothing is, when does sexy cross the line into sexist? Is shoe-horning oneself into corsets, latex or agonizingly high heels just part of fetishism, or is it just another way in which the female body is molded and manipulated? Today, I'm peeling back the PVC to find out...

Today, I'm reflecting on some of my trips to sex stores and consider the cost of kink, as well as how many stores pass the female-friendly test. Is having a decent kink toybox all about the Benjamins? And why do some sex stores still feel reserved for the dirty raincoat brigade?

"Baby, when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun", growls Lady Gaga in her hit "Poker Face." Today, I'm considering how rough sex is portrayed in the media, and why a taste for the rough stuff troubling to some but damn sexy to others...

Last post, I looked at how BDSM can be used to work through abuse. But what of those who want to use BDSM to move on from, not replay, traumatic pasts? Today, I'm thinking about the difficulty of shedding the "victim" label when an abuse survivor chooses to be kinky...

One of the most resented stereotypes about BDSM is that the only person who would willingly consent to it must be “a damaged victim choosing submission as a way of healing from or processing past trauma." But what exactly is the objection to people who practice BDSM as therapy? I had a look at the kink-flavored movie A Dangerous Method to find out...

In light of the Daniel Tosh firestorm this week, I probably don’t need to make the point that joking about sexual abuse is harmful, not funny. However, in the context of kink, a subculture that's already too often treated with mocking or irreverence, it’s worth restating. Safewords are necessary, non-negotiable, and not a joke.