So, I have this ex-girlfriend—we started dating in college when we lived in the same co-op, and maintained a mostly long distance relationship for about two and a half years afterward. It was challenging, to say the least. We probably were better suited to be friends than lovers in the first place, and the distance didn't help.
My spouse and I have known each other about 5 years and got married last year in a truly joyous celebration. She still has issues with living with a child—my 13 year-old daughter—and has a hard time with my my ex, my daughter's father.
I'm powerful. I'm fabulous. I'm unashamed. I'm a boss-ass bitch....most of the time. No matter how much I have been empowered, I seem to come back to my cup size, or lack of it. I love myself, but I can't escape the feeling that I need to be larger for acceptance. The hard part is that women cause me to feel this way as much as men do, the eyes that go up and down, sizing competition and establishing beauty.
I was hoping to gather some thoughts. I consider myself a feminist, I campaign for equal rights and I work in the field of sexual assault and family violence. I give thought to things like body shaming and I understand about socially constructed beauty ideas. I would like people to accept me for my thoughts, values and humor.
But, I really dislike to the point of hating my body.
I constantly find myself putting forth the argument that men get paid more for the same job as women—and although I have research, I still find that people, even women, tell me that I'm wrong and that the Census bureau takes all jobs into account and blah blah blah.
I'm stuck between the rock and the hard place. My partner and I recently married but we've been together for seven years now. I'm from a country in South America and he's from the US. His family has been very nice to me but it hasn't been easy.
I am dealing with a difficult situation involving my partner of three years and many friends and acquaintances. A few years ago I was in an abusive relationship with a man I met through the music scene. He sexually and emotionally abused me and used me financially.