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Visi(bi)lity: Glee’s Problem With Bisexual Men

(This post contains spoilers about the Glee episode "Blame It on the Alcohol.")

A man with dark curly hair and a dark red shirt leans in to kiss a woman with wavy brown hair. Their noses are touching and their eyes are closed.I used to be a regular Glee viewer. For the first two seasons, it was possible (though not necessarily easy) for me to look past the cringe-worthy storylines and enjoy the musical sequences. But as each new episode aired, it became harder and harder to not feel angry about the one-dimensional characters and Ryan Murphy's obvious lack of ability to write for women, people of color, and people with disabilities. And honestly? With the exception of Kurt, the show's handling of queer issues has been disastrous, too.

I stopped watching Glee after seeing Season 3's episode "I Kissed a Girl," during which Santana performs Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" as if it were a song about lesbian reclamation rather than performative bisexuality for the sake of male spectators. (Don't worry, we will address Perry's song and what negative messages it sends about bisexuality later in this series!) But this episode wasn't the first time the show dropped the ball on queer representation. Season 2's episode "Blame It on the Alcohol" stands out as a prime example of Glee missing the mark on bisexuality, particularly bisexual men.

In "Blame It on the Alcohol," the members of The New Directions decide to get drunk together. Naturally, as tends to happen with drunken teenagers, the party devolves into a game of Spin the Bottle, during which Blaine and Rachel make out. Kurt finds the situation amusing, until Blaine decides to go on a date with Rachel. When Kurt protests, Blaine explains, "When we kissed it, it felt good...I've never even had a boyfriend before. Isn't this the time you're supposed to figure stuff out? …Maybe I'm bi. I don't know." Blaine's explanation demonstrates an incredible amount of self-awareness on his part, as he articulates confusion about his sexual identity. He isn't worried that he's straight; he's certain that he likes men. But does that mean that he's gay? Or could enjoying Rachel's kiss mean that he likes women, too?

Unfortunately, Kurt responds in the worst way possible. He tells Blaine, "Bisexual's a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change." If the show had taken the time to critique Kurt's sentiment and explain that that bisexuality is not just an illusion or a façade, this may have been an interesting episode. But of course, that isn't what happens. Because, after Blaine is given exactly one scene in which he discusses his confusion and potential bisexuality, the storyline stops being about him. It becomes a story about Kurt, and how heartbroken he is that his crush his betraying him by questioning his sexuality. It also becomes a story about Rachel, and how she's determined to prove Kurt wrong by making Blaine her boyfriend.

A man in a red sweater and a woman in a frilly nightgown face each other, holding microphones and singing. They are standing in front of a striped curtain.Throughout the episode, Blaine lacks agency. After he and Rachel go on a date, we only hear her perspective, not his. Blaine doesn't choose to kiss Rachel again—she corners him in line at a coffee shop and kisses him without even asking. He doesn't like the kiss (and who can blame him, really—I wouldn't want to be kissed completely off-guard like that!), which is enough to make him realize that he's really gay. But even that realization seems less about Blaine and more about Kurt and Rachel. When Blaine is gay, Kurt is able to continue pursuing him without feeling "threatened" and Rachel is able to use her experience dating a gay man as songwriting inspiration. Blaine's voice throughout the episode is drowned out by the debate between Kurt and Rachel, arguing whether he's gay or straight. It is almost as if the entire purpose of the plotline is to discredit the existence of bisexual men.

I say "bisexual men" because Glee doesn't seem to have a problem with bisexual women. Brittany is able to date and sleep with men and women, and though her character is meant to be comic, her sexuality is treated seriously. So Glee's bi problem is specific to men. It makes you wonder: Why have a one-episode storyline like Blaine's at all, if it's going to be treated as a joke and never mentioned again?

Personally, I think this was a missed opportunity. Blaine's sexual confusion would have been an interesting topic for Glee to seriously explore. The show has gay men (Kurt, Dave Karofsky, Rachel's dads), a lesbian (Santana), a bisexual woman (Brittany), and lots of straight people. So why not add a bisexual man into the mix? Being bi wouldn't have prevented Blaine and Kurt from starting a relationship later in the season! It is, of course, fine that Blaine is gay, and there's nothing wrong with the writers wanting him to be gay. But people still experiment and question their identities, and Blaine should have been able to do so in a better way.

Related: Glee: Blame It On the Alcohol

Previously: America's Next Top Bi Icon: Introducing Laura LaFrate, In Praise of Callie Torres

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Comments

26 comments have been made. Post a comment.

There has always been a

There has always been a double standard about male bisexuality, some of which stems from a long history of gay men being forced to stay in the closet (i.e. they were "forced" into bisexuality to look straight) and some of it being prejudice stemming from AIDS propaganda that went out in the 1980s. Even now, the dialogue seems to be more about LG rights (marriage equality, etc), with a sprinkling of T thrown in for "t"olerance. Bisexuals have always been misunderstood and marginalized by both the hetero- and homosexual worlds, but certainly for male bisexuals being forced to "choose" has been paramount to their own sexual discovery and ultimate happiness.

Let's not forget that

Let's not forget that Brittany also falls into the "promiscuous bisexual" trope. I'm still waiting for the day I see a well-rounded character who isn't almost exclusively defined by their hypersexuality.

Does she, though? She

Does she, though? She definitely did in Season One, when her relationship with Santana was completely treated as a joke, but since then I haven't noticed that as much. She was monogamous and committed to Artie, and now (I think? But who knows, I haven't seen it recently) she's monogamous and committed to Santana. She's certainly not a victory in bisexual representation, but I don't think her depiction is too terrible.

But your point about bi people defined by hypersexuality is very true. It's definitely one of the more prevalent tropes in the media, and one that needs to change.

Actually, Brittany was

Actually, Brittany was cheating on Artie with Santana, although only because Santana had deceived her into thinking that it isn't cheating if "the parts are different." Artie was surprised when he found this out and it resulted in their breakup.

Santana is arguably more promiscuous with Brittany since she seemed to have sex with others regardless of her or the other person's relationship status, and yet she turned out to be a lesbian whose promiscuity with guys was a way to suppress her actual sexuality, which is a much more interesting version of the trope. I know the writers didn't intend Santana to be lesbian from the beginning, but it is interesting to interpret some of her earlier statements about sex (such as when she tells the girls of Glee in Season 1 that it takes until "around the 20th time" to feel truly satisfied by it) in light of her eventual realization about her sexuality.

My husband is bisexual, and

My husband is bisexual, and practically confirmed this suspicion (with my okay) after 8 years of marriage. The twist there is the "8 years of marriage" bit -- when we married, clearly I thought he was straight and had no reason to suspect otherwise. Fairly quickly, I began to suspect he was bi, and over time, as we became more sexually comfortable and open with each other, he began opening up to me about his bisexual curiosity. Finally, we decided to see if he was as interested in reality as he was in theory.

The thing was, the reality was much harder to deal with than the theory for me; something I had not anticipated. For some reason, going from a straight-experienced (female-only partners) husband with bicurious tendencies to a bi-experienced (both male and female partners) husband was much harder to deal with. I turned to the internet for advice (this was in 2009), and found studies (that were later overturned) stating that while women are "sexually fluid" there is no such thing as a bisexual male. I found gay advice columnists exhibiting biphobia and claiming that bi guys were just self-hating homophobic gays in the closet. I found support forums for women married to "bisexual" guys, most of them discussing how they loved their best friend and didn't want to leave him ever, but their sex life was now dead because he slept only with men.

You can imagine how terrified and lonely I felt. Even my therapist said my husband was probably gay. I didn't know where to turn for information and support, and everywhere I looked for advice reinforced the notion that bi guys are really gay. Even his partners treated me like I was a temporary inconvenience -- his wife of 9 years!

It almost ruined our marriage. Luckily, we have decent communication and I realized that looking for advice on the internet wasn't helping at all -- every time I stopped looking/ reading advice regarding male bisexuality on the internet, I reverted to my gut instinct -- that my husband quite clearly adores me and loves sex with me, and it's impossible to fake that level of interest for 9 years, but he also quite clearly enjoys male-on-male sex. So the only logical conclusion is that he's bisexual, even if it felt like no-one but he and I were willing to acknowledge that.

Eventually, months after we came to terms with his bisexuality in our relationship (and went back to monogamy for both our sakes -- turns out I wasn't the only one who didn't handle have extraneous partners with grace), I finally, finally found some support forums and actual decent information on male bisexuality.

Long story short, I'm glad you're addressing this. It's something that needs to be addressed, and the negative myths around bisexuality need to be deconstructed and examined for the prejudice they are.

Mephista

Mephista, your story is amazing. It sounds like you and your husband have an incredible marriage. Thank you so much for sharing this.

bravo

I wish more people shared their story like you, then maybe the shame would dissipate a little.

Fortunately, the 2005 study

Fortunately, the 2005 study has been reversed by several further studies from the past three years, which show conclusively that bisexual men do very much exist, which is good news for me. I like existing. It's better than the alternatives. I imagine your husband probably likes existing too.

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-012-9981-z
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/health/23bisexual.html?_r=0
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/08/120806084533.htm

Three independent studies using different methods that show bisexual men exist. J Michael Bailey also has a video of a bisexual man's brain in an MRI exhibiting arousal to both sexes.

Great story, thanks for

Great story, thanks for sharing.

yea, as someone who's fluid I

yea, as someone who's fluid I found the episode pretty frustrating.

I have to disagree with you.

You gave Glee a pass on Brittany's Bisexuality. I do not think it has ever been treated seriously. The Brittany character is at best a slightly offensive troupe (nymph) and at worst a victim. She has never been more than a sex object in Glee. She was always portrayed as being manipulated, by Sue (cannon), by Kurt (sexual exploration), by Artie (Christmas) and by Santana(cheating on Artie). The rationale is that she is so stupid that people have to lie to her because she can't understand the truth. Did you hear her story about losing her virginity "He just can into my tent, Alien Invasion." I would put her less in the bisexual camp and more in the sex robot camp.

I agree that Glee didn't handle Blaine's bisexuality very well but if you look at the entire character you see that he isn't so much a character as a prop. He was written for one purpose and one purpose only, Kurt needed a boyfriend. He has never had any agency. His actions serve only to give Kurt a stage to develop his own story.

Santana also suggested that she was attracted to men AND women which quickly turned into pure lesbianism.

Basically, Glee is awful, but we still talk about it and even though it is messed up I imagine some little queer kid maybe sees him/herself in one of the character (because they really are so empty you can fill them with what you want them to be) and maybe s/he feel a little bit less isolated. Maybe, hopefully.

edgy1004 - I get what you're

edgy1004 - I get what you're saying about Brittany. She's certainly a problematic character in a lot of respects, and her virginity story was atrocious. That said, I think the moments that have most humanized her are the ones where she discusses her sexuality openly. There's not much that's taken seriously about her, but I do think, for the most part, her relationships have been presented as very sincere. The problems that I have with her character are less about biphobia and more about Ryan Murphy consistently failing at writing for women.

The reason why Blaine's storyline bothers me more is because male bisexuality already gets treated horribly in the media. Bisexual women are presented far from perfectly, but for whatever reason, bisexual men are considerably more absent and then more stigmatized when they do appear. So I was disappointed that the storyline was brought up, only to be completely dismantled and ignored immediately after. For better or worse, many see Glee as an important show for the LGBT community, and this episode, more than any other, proved to me that Ryan Murphy isn't interested in the "B" part of the equation. (He's not interested in the "T" part, either, but that's another story altogether.)

I completely agree about the T and B.

What I feel when I watch glee deal with LGBT issues is that it represents a very specific mindset, the mindset of a person who was a gay teen in the 1980's. Like when Kurt said he wanted to start a PFLAG chapter, I was like "What? How about Queers and Allies or Gay Straight Alliance (Justin Taylor was doing that in 2001 on QaF)." I really wish they had followed through with PFLAG or anything really. But nope!

I wonder if the T issue will

I wonder if the T issue will change when Alex (the cross dresser from The Glee Project) comes on the show. I don't have much in the spoiler department, but perhaps they'll go there. But I don't see RIB crossing over into the world of Alan Cumming (a fabulously bisexual man if there ever was one) any time soon.

Make It or Break It Does a Bi guy character well!

(or at least a scene addressing his bisexuality. I don't watch the show, so I suppose I can't speak for his character throughout :P)

First of all, loving this series! Every day is a great read!

I never had much interest in watching Glee, and hearing about episodes like this certainly doesn't tempt me to change my mind. What a missed opportunity indeed. I agree, it's not a bad thing that Blaine identifies as gay, but I also agree that he should've been given more of a chance to be able to question that and then come to that conclusion in a more in-depth way on screen, rather than have Kurt and Rachel chiming in with their opinions so much.

After reading your article and feeling a little bummed and frustrated at what a botched opportunity this episode apparently was, I remembered a scene from the ABC Family show, Make It or Break It, which was referenced by I believe AfterElton, in one of its articles about representations of bisexual men in the media (I think particularly tv in this case.) I was wondering if you've ever seen it? If you haven't yet, here's a link!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRIOXbCueA

I've never watched the show, and still don't heh, so I don't know the exact context surrounding the scene. But basically it's one of their male characters, Max, coming out as bisexual to another male character, Austin. I was very pleasantly surprised with how well it was done, in general, never mind that it's an ABC family show which, 1) I wouldn't have pegged as a channel that would've addressed this kind of thing, even in its teen programming, and 2) For whatever reason, I don't really associate ABC Family with like, cutting edge quality programming, although I hear Pretty Little Liars is good. Basically, if you say ABC Family, I think Harry Potter movie marathons and kind of rinky dink teen shows. So, not only was this scene good by any show's standards, but I was doubly tickled that something on this topic was done on ABC Family, and that it was done so well on ABC Family.

Max starts off the scene drinking, which, initially had me worried that this would be "Oh, drunken confession time!" which, could potentially lead in a number of not great directions. But he only drinks for maybe the first few seconds of the scene, and it seems like it's happening more to highlight that there's kind of a whole shitstorm brewing around Max's life at the moment, not just the fact that after certain events on this particular day, he finds himself struggling with his identity. And the best part is that he's not struggling to find his identity (not that there's anything wrong with that either, of course, I did it for years), he's already sure about it, and his struggle is with how people, but most especially certain people he's close to in his life, will take his being bisexual, and if they'll accept him for that. Max knows he's bisexual, and he's very confident and firm when he speaks about it to Austin and when he counters Austin's doubts and answers his questions. (Which is also why I ended up not minding the drinking so much. It really only seems to be relevant to the first few seconds of the scene, and it in no way inhibits Max's self-awareness and conviction in the rest of the scene, to the point where I forget that he was drinking at the beginning until I actually go back and watch it again. 'cause yeah, I've watched this clip more than a few times. :))

Austin, to his credit, handles the whole thing pretty well. Max surprise!kisses him at the beginning of the scene, which was definitely not a good move on Max's part, and Austin is obviously uncomfortable with the advance, but he reacts calmly about it. He doesn't raise his voice, doesn't get physical, doesn't get angry, just asks in a slightly (understandably) ruffled tone what that was all about. Austin listens to Max, initially doubts and is confused by bisexuality and so he asks questions, a little pointedly, but he genuinely listens to Max's answers and accepts them. And accepts Max, most importantly.

So basically, I like that Max is confident in his identity already, but is just worried about how other people will handle it. I like that Austin doesn't make too big deal out of anything, even getting kiss ambushed, and that even though he starts with doubt and is confused about bisexuality, he still listens, is respectful of Max and accepts him for who he is. And I like that they address male bisexuality in particular, especially bringing up the opinion some people have that bi men aren't bi, they're just gay and either don't realize it or won't come out. (Not that this opinion isn't hurled at bi women too, but it seems to be more prevalently held against the guys.) I was very pleasantly surprised to see this come up and to have Max squash the notion. I expected that the show would say it was ok to like guys and girls, and I guess I expected it to say that it can be kind of hard to explain, other than that some people just do like guys and girls, and that's just the way they are (and they don't have to explain it to you!). But I definitely wasn't expecting them to have Max call people out on thinking bi men just won't come out of the closet as a gay. I feel like they did the basics and then went a step further, with that, which was great. That's the first time I've seen a character in anything address that and it was a wonderful moment for me. (I'll be honest and say that I haven't been too active in looking for bi men characters who've addressed this, so if they're in other things saying this too, I would love to see them!)

To finish (finally :P), I mean, it's not a perfect scene. But I think it accomplishes a lot and is realistically and respectfully done.

Thought it might be a good upper for the downer that is Blaine's storyline in "Blame on the Alcohol". :) (Hope you don't mind me sharing ALL my thoughts about it at great length afterwards! :P)

Keep up the good work, Carrie!

Oh, excellent. I've never

Oh, excellent. I've never seen this show, but it certainly sounds promising. I will have to check it out!!!

Bisexual women (and men)

"the opinion some people have that bi men aren't bi, they're just gay and either don't realize it or won't come out. (Not that this opinion isn't hurled at bi women too, but it seems to be more prevalently held against the guys.)"

Actually, I have noticed the "you're really gay and won't admit it" is strongly lobbed at bi men, whereas bi women have the opposite problem much more often: that everybody just assumes "oh, you're just straight and 'experimenting' is all". No. No they are not. It's to the extent that even some bi women have to deal with this bias - I was astounded to read an interview with the singer Fergie, who had come out as bi but is in a relationship with a man, and how she had had supposedly to work through issues with her therapist such as acknowledging that "yes, it really is still cheating if it's a woman". As in, she had to be INFORMED that a relationship with a woman was a 'real' relationship, as opposed... to what, exactly? A Katy Perry video?

Of course, idiots like Katy Perry indeed don't help, with all this coy "I Kissed A Girl (but it's really just because I'm slightly pseudo-kinky and I'm totally still straight guyz, lol jk)" bull.

This is why I feel kind of uncomfortable any time a new (relatively) famous woman (e.g. Anna Paquin, Fergie, Vanessa Carlton) comes out as bi: because everybody always assumes it's a stunt, and then it makes me angry, because it's like they believe there's no such thing as a woman who is legitimately interested in both genders/sexes. And of course, since she couldn't POSSIBLY be telling the truth, that means she's lying, which means she's just trying to get attention and my, what a slutty thing to do! So of course, it rapidly devolves into people slut-shaming her, while labeling her as both a liar and an attention whore.

Men have it pretty damn hard if they're bi because simply admitting they are into men is taboo in this culture, and then throwing a wrench in the stereotype by not being "completely gay" somehow makes them even more taboo (because what ever will we do if we can't fit people into neat little categorical boxes?)... but bi women have the unique challenge of not even being believed about being into the same sex at all, with a double-dose of slut-shaming dismissal just for good measure, because by admitting to something allegedly "kinky", they've suddenly become Not A Good Girl. And we all know what happens to Girls who aren't Good...

I have the annoying problem of being about 95% lesbian but say, butch or anything, so I get that EVEN WORSE, given that my preference is strongly TOWARDS women but I'm not the walking lesbian stereotype. I once told a particularly persistent male suitor "Look, I'm not even into guys! I'm lesbian!" and his response? "Even better!" Um, no. Sorry, doesn't work that way!

We live in a culture right now where men are, I think, told they have to be rigidly hetero or there is something wrong with them, whereas women's sexuality is almost not even considered a real thing, so any time a guy is interested in not-women, it's perceived as threatening, and any time a woman is interested in other women, it's "cute" or "kinky", and seen as a valid way to objectify and dismiss and trivialize them, as opposed to actual, real feelings and desires that have nothing to do with anybody else.

Either way, it's effed up.

-J

Bisexual women (and men)

"the opinion some people have that bi men aren't bi, they're just gay and either don't realize it or won't come out. (Not that this opinion isn't hurled at bi women too, but it seems to be more prevalently held against the guys.)"

Actually, I have noticed the "you're really gay and won't admit it" is strongly lobbed at bi men, whereas bi women have the opposite problem much more often: that everybody just assumes "oh, you're just straight and 'experimenting' is all". No. No they are not. It's to the extent that even some bi women have to deal with this bias - I was astounded to read an interview with the singer Fergie, who had come out as bi but is in a relationship with a man, and how she had had supposedly to work through issues with her therapist such as acknowledging that "yes, it really is still cheating if it's a woman". As in, she had to be informed that a relationship with a woman was a 'real' relationship, as opposed... to what, exactly? A Katy Perry video?

Of course, idiots like Katy Perry indeed don't help, with all this coy "I Kissed A Girl (but it's really just because I'm slightly pseudo-kinky and I'm totally still straight guyz, lol jk)" bull.

This is why I feel kind of uncomfortable any time a new (relatively) famous woman (e.g. Anna Paquin, Fergie, Vanessa Carlton) comes out as bi: because everybody always assumes it's a stunt, and then it makes me angry, because it's like they believe there's no such thing as a woman who is legitimately interested in both genders/sexes. And of course, since she couldn't POSSIBLY be telling the truth, that means she's lying, which means she's just trying to get attention and my, what a slutty thing to do! So of course, it rapidly devolves into people slut-shaming her, while labeling her as both a liar and an attention whore.

Men have it pretty damn hard if they're bi because simply admitting they are into men is taboo in this culture, and then throwing a wrench in the stereotype by not being "completely gay" somehow makes them even more taboo (because what ever will we do if we can't fit people into neat little categorical boxes?)... but bi women have the unique challenge of not even being believed about being into the same sex at all, with a double-dose of slut-shaming dismissal just for good measure, because by admitting to something allegedly "kinky", they've suddenly become Not A Good Girl. And we all know what happens to Girls who aren't Good...

I have the annoying problem of being about 95% lesbian but say, butch or anything, so I get that even worse, given that my preference is strongly towards women, but I'm not the walking lesbian stereotype. I once told a particularly persistent male suitor "Look, I'm not even into guys! I'm lesbian!" and his response? "Even better!" Um, no. Sorry, doesn't work that way!

We live in a culture right now where men are, I think, told they have to be rigidly hetero or there is something wrong with them, whereas women's sexuality is almost not even considered a real thing, so any time a guy is interested in not-women, it's perceived as threatening, and any time a woman is interested in other women, it's "cute" or "kinky", and seen as a valid way to objectify and dismiss and trivialize them, as opposed to actual, real feelings and desires that have nothing to do with anybody else.

Either way, it's effed up.

-J

Probably good that they didn't go with bisexual Blain.

I don't trust Ryan Murphy to handle the complicated cultural anathema homosexuals, especially gay men, have for bisexuality. Glee did a lousy job unpacking Finn's anxious masculinity and homophobia in regards to Kurt, and that was a storyline where every bit of logic, characterization, and consistency were sacrificed in the name of making Kurt into a faultless victim of Finn's irrational fears. A positive bisexual storyline where Kurt is the one learning a lesson about acceptance? Not going to happen.

Bit more on a backstory to Glee's "bisexual problem"

much of which it certainly seems to outside eyes be laid squarely at the feet of the showrunner Ryan Murphy and his buddies. Glee's PR department leaked this blind item to the trades in the lead-up to the broadcast, "One of your beloved characters on Glee could be coming out as bisexual!" and will be "forced to consider the possibility that he swings both ways".

After getting a (predictably) nasty backlash from the gay/lesbian establishment: "Hmm, we're not sure how we feel about this. Blaine is written as a very confident gay teen who knows what he wants. Could this be confusing to viewers?"

They then came out with this ungraciously worded 'reassuring' statement: "Blaine is NOT bi. He is gay, and will always be gay. I think it's very important to young kids that they know this character is one of them."

This infuriated a large number of heretofore politically apathetic Gleeks who then came bursting out of the closet as bisexual and took to social media inquiring if the powers that be in the greater LGBTQ+ Community did not in fact consider them either "important" or actually "one of them" also.

Not to mention the show's very title "Blame It On the Alcohol" reeks of the awful slut shaming, discredited 1980's drunken party girl/boy bar-sexual stereotypes. All in all it wasn't a positive or accurate picture for bisexual tweens/teen and their friends, partners and families.

Interesting...I wasn't aware

Interesting...I wasn't aware of all this backstory. Do you have a link to more information? I'd love to read more about it...

links . . .

Had that all carefully footnoted for you BUT the blankety blank system wouldn't let me include them, the formating is not actually working.

That one quote from Ryan Murphy is (in)famous, he tweeted it to the world. Check Perez Hilton's Glee stuff (my 1st quotes "of concern" from the Gay establishment is quotes from him), it's all on there (I know, I know but we are talking about today's media culture here and Hilton IS important) but it was a BIG to-do at the time with tons of bisexual and bi-supportive Gleeks going nuts over it all.

After the "Blame It On the Alcohol" episode aired, as FenceSitter Film's Kyle Schickner pointed out Ryan Murphy's "moronic statements the week before" really coloured people's view of the episode.

Still?

I'm always frustrated that in both the straight and gay worlds, I still hear so much bi bashing. It seems to border on hatred with some (which I suspect those have been dumped by a gay person in 'transition'). It took me quite a while to realize that though I'm not lesbian, I'm not very into straight guys either. Whether it was the lack of relating to a 'fixed' sexuality or the eventual homophobic remarks or actions......

I just started finding guys I feel a strong attraction to. Bi guys stay hidden mostly. But I've found some really nice guys at the gay bar (the ones that let women in). Bi guys are doubly closeted. They don't want straight discrimination, but they don't want the gay verbal lashings or ostracizing either! I think it's a huge step forward every time a bi male celebrity comes out.....it just doesn't happen enough! I couldn't see myself with any other type of guy. I am hoping metro Detroit begins opening Bi bars. That would be so awesome. Wouldn't have to weed through the truly gay guys or get hit on by straights. Hmmmmm, maybe I'll have to open it! :-) Big hugs to all the bi guys out there who are just wanting to be themselves.

Both straights and gays are bi-phobic

I'm glad for this article I'm also glad someone else can see that someone whose gay can maybe realise he's bi, it happened to my cousin he lived most of his late teens/early twenties leading a gay lifestyle with apparently no interest in Women, until he kissed one of my female friends for a dare, he was slightly drunk but he told me later that he enjoyed the kiss and that it felt right, bare in mind he never fooled around with a girl before, for the next few days he began fantasising different sexual situations with girls and he told me he became quite hard, his boyfriend wasn't at all understanding of my cousins feelings and dismissed him as a "self homophobic arse" in denial (my cousin had been out of the closest since his mid teens so that statement wasn't true) a few weeks later he told me he picked a girl at a pub and had sex with her and he liked it! He has since come out as bi and he now has a girlfriend and they've dated for two and a half years now and their sex life is great from what I hear, my point is is that human sexuality is SO fluid on either spectrum, it's impossible to define the grey area that is bisexuality, I find many people esp gay men very bi-phobic and its unfair that bisexuals feel that they're forced too choose or made to feel that they're really gay but in denial it's really offensive. So kudos to the author of this article

Committed Monogamous Bi Couple

My husband and I have been together for 8 years, we are both bi. We are a male/female couple but we do not and will not identify as heterosexual, it would be a lie if we did. We have both had sexual and emotional relationships with people of the same sex as well as people of the opposite sex. I tell people I'm married to a man but it could easily have gone the other way and it is the same for him. We have found that people tend to react less negatively to my bisexuality than to his. Also for some reason people think that because we are both bi, that we are not monogamous. It is no more difficult for me to have sex with only one MAN than it would be for any other woman to have sex with only ONE man. And from what I know of most men he does a better job at have sex with only one WOMAN than most men do at having sex with only ONE woman. So in conclusion, yes you can be a bisexual and in a monogamous relationship with one person, being bi just means that the gender of that person doesn't matter to you. I love a person, not a set of genitalia and I would still love this person regardless of which set he had.