True Blood: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Last night's True Blood started as Bill & Eric's Excellent Adventure and ended up more like Bill & Eric's Bogus Journey.

Lafayette looking great in some new lashes
Lafayette is indeed a fine ass motherfucker with some pretty new eyelashes.

We're live-tweeting the season at @BitchMediaLive. Follow along during the episodes and get caught up right here! We reorder our tweets so you can read along while you watch. Be sure to tweet at us during the show, too!

Live-Tweeting True Blood, Episode Nine

Storified by BitchMedia LiveTweet · Mon, Aug 06 2012 11:24:31

It's hot as Bon Temps here in PDX which can only mean one thing: It's #TrueBlood time! I'm @KelseyMWallace and I'll be your tweeter this eveBitchMedia LiveTweet
So do we think Rev. Newlin and Russell are going to hook up now that they're both churchgoing men? #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
What would Ray Liotta say if he could see his little girl now, working as a tech geek for vampires? #CorrinaCorrinaJokes #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Kinda wish Lafayette WAS "gmail for dead bitches" though. That would be awesome. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
"Keep our heads down, our tits up, and the #TrueBlood flowing." Words to live by as always, Pam. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Movie idea: Bill and Eric play stoner college roommates. Wait, that is BASICALLY WHAT'S HAPPENING ON THE SHOW RIGHT NOW! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Oooh I think our earlier prediction might come true: Bud Dearborn is not to be trusted! I dig his style though. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Next summer I'm signing up for Werewolf Camp! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Scott Foley you are boring me even while you are holding a gun. Stop scaring Arlene and go back to Felicity reruns! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
"You use your dick for a compass. Me? I'm just a bad cop." Don't be so hard on yourself, Andy! Your naked pics got a lot of hits. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Bud was caught out on in his squaredancing boots! It's like getting Al Capone on tax evasion. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
How will their new law prevent sexless marriages? Sorry, but getting rid of vampires won't turn Bon Temps into a Cialis ad. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Love how much of a role #squaredancing is playing in this episode. "Grab your partner, kidnap a shifter! Now promenade on home." #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Salome is NOT dancing to distract Bill. That's the OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK! Really, it is! #BibleJokes #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
"Humans rule" was the best he could come up with? Too bad Bud had to go out on such a bad note. I liked his square-dancing boots! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Russell and Steve, sittin in a tree. F-A-N-G-B-A-N-G-I-N-G! #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. Alcide wears his on his car stereo. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Is a werewolf watching dog races like me watching the #Olympics? #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
If I was drinking every time someone kidnapped someone during tonight's #TrueBlood I would be WAAASTED by now.BitchMedia LiveTweet
This story went from "Bill & Eric's Excellent Adventure" to "Bill & Eric's Bogus Journey" pretty fast. #TrueBloodBitchMedia LiveTweet
Next week on #TrueBlood: Eric goes sleeveless, Alcide wears a shirt, and Tara & Pam rock jackets from the "Thriller" video. Tweet ya then!BitchMedia LiveTweet

Previously: Somebody That I Used to Know, In the Beginning

Comments

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Well, at least Steve and

Well, at least Steve and Russell happened. I seriously thought Momma Hoyt was going to end up being the Dragon, but then they introduced yet another new character. Seriously, a major villain should be someone we get to know over time, not a random person out of the blue. It would have been better if Bud were acting alone, as much as it pained me that they made him a bad guy in the first place. And the glimpse into Sweetie's past made me wince so hard. A fat woman is a villain because she lost a man and hates herself? Can't she just be evil because she enjoys it, or because she craves power? (A la Ursula the sea witch.)

Also, the Jessica/Hoyt/Jason storyline is awful. I had a really hard time watching episode 8 with Jessica's kidnapping, the rhetoric of the hate group, and Hoyt actually considering shooting her. Hoyt's behavior has been completely inexcusable and at this point I think he's beyond redemption. I'm confused as to what the writers want us to think. WIth Jessica's self-blame, it feels like we're supposed to be at least a little empathetic to Hoyt, which disgusts me. There shouldn't be any room to feel for a guy who would kill a woman for breaking up with him. Jessica has every right to sleep with and be otherwise intimate with whomever she wants; Hoyt's position is completely indefensible.

At this point, I feel like Eric is the only likable character left on the show. I mean, other than Russell and Steve, I guess, but they're bogged-down by a horrible mess of a story line.