Shot through the vagina, and Rock of Love Bus is to blame.

Just in case you are tired out from celebrating Obama's inauguration today (although if you aren't tired of celebrating you should totally watch this video) we thought we would bring you a little diversion. So let's take a minute and think not about this historic day and how happy we are to have a president who is not an international embarrassment, but instead about Rock of Love Bus. More specifically about the scene from the first episode where Nikki takes a shot from Gia's vagina. (Hey, we said we were going to give you a diversion, right?)

For those of you who don't watch Rock of Love Bus, it is a VH1 "celebreality" show in which 20 women compete for a relationship with rock n' roller (and eyeliner wearer) Bret Michaels. In this season (there have been two earlier seasons that did not satisfy Bret Michaels' quest for love) the women must go on tour with Bret in order to better understand his rock n' roll lifestyle.

There is some wacky shit that goes on on this show, but in the interest of time (and in order to give your post-inaugural brain cells a break) we will discuss only the wackiest shit that has happened thus far. In episode one the women meet one another and immediately go on the road with Bret (alcohol in tow). They meet up with him at a concert that night, some of them proceed to go to third base with one another on stage, and then they all go to a bar for an after party. At the after party, two of the women, Nikki and Gia, decide (in full view of Bret and the other contestants) to do a shot. What happens next is a little bit confusing, so I will let the ladies of the Rock of Love Bus attempt to explain it (this is a montage of clips from the episode; the shot happens last so you can skip to the end if you just want the good stuff):

<a href="http://www.vh1.com/video/browse/index.jhtml?id=1573" target="_blank">I Call that NASTY!</a>

Okay, WTF? Did Nikki really take a shot out of Gia's vagina? What is going on here? Sure, television shows like this are purposefully scandalous in order to remain even remotely interesting, but might this be going a bit overboard? Has there been a precedent set for this by other reality shows?

What do you think of a display like this? Are they just trying to get Bret's attention? Are they genuinely sexually attracted to one another? Does it matter, since they are doing vagina shots on television and maybe (just maybe) that should be off limits? Does this mean anything for for feminism one way or another? Let's discuss.

Oh, and one more question: Does anyone else have the urge to take a shower?

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Comments

17 comments have been made. Post a comment.

goddammit Kelsey

I did NOT want a diversion! I did not want to watch that, I just want to watch Barack and Michelle slow dance to Beyonce for EVER AND EVER.

____________
Kjerstin Johnson, editor-in-chief
Did someone say "Comments Policy"?

Just add that to the list of

Just add that to the list of things women can do but men can't.

Yay!

Hey now, any vagina-mouth contact is A++ by me :D

It would have been more

It would have been more interesting if it was done out of bret michaels ass...

I tried to watch and was

I tried to watch and was physically compelled to stop the video. I'm just gonna take your word for it, Kelsey.

Gross

I would never consider watching a show like this & when I watched that clip I was reminded why! Girls parading themselves around like a piece of meat & then sticking a shot up her privates on tv is pretty disgusting! doesn't she worry about infections :) ?

yay for pseudo-lesbians everywhere!

I admit, I watch this show, watched the last two seasons too. There's something about watching trainwrecks on reality tv.... anyways, I was just so disgusted when I saw this. If they were trying to get attention from Bret, it worked, because he kicked both of them off the first night. I think the producers make an effort to find the trashiest women out there with the most plastic surgery. I don't know what Bret finds sexy in these women. Even funnier? One of the women said that she "turns into a lesbian" when she's drunk.

And Bret Michaels is looking more and more like a woman himself as time goes on.

Dr Drew made an interesting point about shows like this (and the Bad Girls Club, the other dating shows, and The Real World). The producers essentially find people with personality disorders and give them alcohol and film it. It's meant to be a disaster, and we find it entertaining. These people need therapy, not to be on TV shows.

What's worse than a bunch of Barbie doll wannabes?

Barbie doll wannabies who, despite their laughably gigantic fake boobs, STILL have to take coochie shots off one another to get the attention of some dude. Worse yet is the fact that people are watching this garbage.

It seems to me that when the roles are reversed and a group of guys are vying for the attention of a single girl, they are usually just subjected to a bunch of physically tough and/or somewhat humiliating challenges. I'm thinking of that show Kept that was also on VH1 a few years ago. In the first show these guys had to swim through cold water in their skivvies to prove how much they wanted to be Jerry Hall's pet. But you didn't see them inserting edibles into eachothers bodily cavities to impress her.

It's not the act itself that's disgusting; you are entitled to whatever gets you off. But these girls aren't doing it to please eachother - they're doing it to impress Bret. Who taught them that the only way to get a guy's attention was to shock him through some flagrantly raunchy display of all of their bits? To me it seems like an exaggerated version of the same old story: the woman must up to the standard of beauty and fulfill her assigned role in relation to the man. In the 50s, this meant the woman had an hourglass figure, cooked a bitchin' meat loaf, and supported the decisions of her husband. In the world of Bret Michaels it means she has fake double D's, can party like a rock star, and is willing to drink alcohol out of another woman's vagina.

Suffice it to say ...

... it seems Michaels hasn't changed at all since his days of '80s hair metal debauchery ... sigh ...

Can someone actually explain

Can someone actually explain to me the mechanics of doing a shot through the vagina? I'm trying to figure out all these possible scenarios, and anything that I can think of physically makes me cringe.

These girls just make me really, really sad.

I wondered if that was real too...

How would the shot stay up in there? But let me just say, I feel no feminist sympathy for those girls. They are well aware of what kind of show they are going on, I dont believe they get paid for it (unless they win, and if they do, I imagine its a small sum), and they seem all too willing to make giant asses of themselves. And yes, there are shows where men do dumb stuff like this too (I Love NY).

Where's the REAL competition?

How come these ridiculously-asinine programs glorify ignorance?

If our culture is going to accommodate the sad "reality" of programs that ask suitors to compete with one another for some loser's affection, can't they at least glorify the intellectual?

How about a show where 10 guys try to win a brilliant woman's heart by discussing the conundrum of loving Andrea Dworkin's view on the dangers of objectification behind pornography, yet taking issue with her views on sexual intercourse? Imagine the protagonist asking Contestant #4, "Which of the 8 Democratic presidential candidates from 2008 most encapsulates the Third Wave feminist ideals, and why? - You've got 5 minutes!"

Or a guy choosing the woman who best understands the significance of winning state legislatures prior to the post-Census redistricting? I'd love to hear about whichever woman can answer the most indie rock trivia questions, or can debate the merits of Swedish socialism within American health care.

And while we are at it, where are the shows that glamorize the knowledge of the New Hollywood cineaste from 1968-76? Or indie rock bass players?

I'd love a show that threw gender out of the window, and encouraged legitimate intellectual cultural criticism.

Maybe I ask too much from our country's networks, but hey, Obama won the most populous county in Utah, for crying out loud. As Beck once said, "things are gonna change, I can feel it..."

Because, none of that simply

Because, none of that simply has no entertainment value.

The average American rather watch mascara smeared train wrecks rather than intellectuals. A lot of college students love Rock of Love, and I suppose young people prefer mindless entertainment at the expense of women rather than heavy discussion, it's an escapism thing. Much like how there was an article or blog here earlier about how its the movies about dogs or a mall cop that are reeling in more money than Frost/Nixon or Milk.

Competing for mates with academic competitions... too sexy

PhD's are totally sexier than anything MTV could produce

I would have to agree

I'm not into bros or alpha-males. I want someone who actually knows what a book is and how to read it. And not just easy modern-day stuff. I want a man who can discuss classics with me, who can discuss 'hard' topics like gender and philosophy and religion without resorting to swearing at me and insisting only his way is right because that's what he was taught (sorry for the vent. my husband's friend jack is like this. a racist/homophobic/sexist Christian. Go figure :P )

Anyway. I want a man who isn't greased up and super-buff, bragging about his sexual prowess. I want a bookish dude. Way hotter by far.

*drools*

See thats why you don't get no pussy

See thats why you dont get no pussy. Who are you to judge any body. A real question would be are you more sucessfull than the person in question and the answer is no your not, you wish you had the career that man has had and this is coming from one black man to another. Dont consume yourself with things that dont even matter or that you have nothing to do with. Its called minding your business try doing it chump.

Think I wouldn't be alone

Think I wouldn't be alone saying that these bitches are getting crazier and crazier and what is awful I can't believe it's all scripted. I cannot understand how these people could have
a) survived long enough to be of legal age and
b) filled out the contestant application in a legible enough manner to be considered.
Nevertheless my favorite quote from the promos is:
"I specifically asked you to not act slutty!" :D
It's worth being my "status" for today ;)