Sex and the Fat Girl: Unicorns, Better Head, and Other Myths

There's a lot of misinformation around the web about sex and fat people. Particularly when it comes to the sexual skills fat people possess. I thought we'd have a little tongue-in-cheek fun by breaking down these myths and getting to the truth of the matter.

Myth #1: Fat chicks give better head.
Well, not only is this a heterosexist myth (because I never see the "head" being referred to as being given to another woman), but it's wildly inaccurate. Fat girls as a group have the same ratio of members who are good at blowjobs/not good at blowjobs. Some of the "backup" given for this assertion is just silly. "Fat girls are hungrier." "Fat girls have to work harder," Please. This relates to another myth—that fat girls have low self-esteem. So since we have low self-esteem, we have to compensate for our fatness by being really good at blowjobs. Look, I'm good at head because I work at it. Give us some credit here. Most girls I know, including fat girls, don't just give up the bj to any douchebag that has the audacity to ask, anyway. This myth is really more of a fervent hope than anything. Moving on...

Myth #2: Fat chicks put out more.
Okay, it is true that fat women tend to have more sex, but having a lot of sex doesn't = putting out. Putting out implies that you're doing it out of obligation, to get someone to like you, or because you're trying to please someone. Couldn't it be that fat girls in general are feeling better about their bodies and therefore feel less inhibited during sex, so they're more likely to have it? No one goes there. The referenced study at least destroys the myth that no one is attracted to fat women. Clearly someone is because we're having sex.

Myth #3: For the bros: Fat guys suck in bed.
Actually, fat guys apparently have it better than their thinner brothers—many of them last longer and don't suffer from the curse of premature ejaculation. I can testify to this fact. Being thin, while you'd think it'd be a good thing since supposedly thin=fit so your stamina is supposed to be better, actually hinders your cause. Anecdotally, the fat guys I've been with lasted longer on average than the "fittest" dudes I've been with. So there you go.

Bonus Myth #4: OMG, how do two fat people have sex?
For your information and enjoyment, there are many ways two fat people can have sex. I mean, really. Stop with the "roll her in flour" jokes.

That concludes this edition of Fat Sex Myths. Have a hot weekend—and try some of those positions. We'll go back to being serious next week.

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Comments

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I love this!

Great post Tasha, and way to bust apart these silly myths!

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Kelsey Wallace, contributor

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Great piece!

And awesome sass in the delivery. It's time someone debunked these ridiculous (but oft-repeated) myths.

I had a guy once tell me that

I had a guy once tell me that fat chicks are "looser" than skinny ones. Basically, that fat girls have flabby vag. (Hilariously, the same dude also tried to talk me into being fuck buddies several months later. Ha!)

head

Women refer to oral sex between women or female bodied people as "giving head" all the time. I'm really good at giving head... but I don't think that has to do with my being fat... It has more to do with having an awesome mouth.

Hot Fat Chicks

Is it possible that since fat women have more estrogen that they are simply more amorous? If so, it's not a question of deprivation but of abundance.

Thanks for bringing this up!

Thanks for bringing this up! I was going to make a comment about it and decided against it because I knew you had to write about this sooner or later.

Regarding 1, a good bj is relative! Every guy likes something different and what might be good to one guy is totally different than another, which is another reason why that myth is such BS.

I stumbled upon this article: (And it has some lovely visuals! although it might be NSFW)

http://www.bspcn.com/2011/01/07/6-reasons-why-you-should-date-a-fat-girl/

Love it, except number 3 :

Love it, except number 3 : 'Myth #3: For the bros: Fat guys suck in bed.
Actually, fat guys apparently have it better than their thinner brothers—many of them last longer and don't suffer from the curse of premature ejaculation. I can testify to this fact. Being thin, while you'd think it'd be a good thing since supposedly thin=fit so your stamina is supposed to be better, actually hinders your cause. Anecdotally, the fat guys I've been with lasted longer on average than the "fittest" dudes I've been with. So there you go.' No need to say either fat nor skinny sucks in bed, there is variable geometry in all and to suggest one is best that the other is just not nice, particularly if it is all 'anecdotal' and not based on scientific evidence.

I'm kinda with you on that

I'm kinda with you on that one.... when my husband gained weight, about 25-40 lbs, his sex drive was non-existant, and when we did have sex, it was short because he was so out of breath and out of shape. So we didn't have sex for a long time until he lost the weight. And before he gained weight.... wow. I'm talkin hours. Hours and hours. Now we can go for a very long time, but now it's a matter of being exhausted due to both of our work schedules. Sigh.

I agree too. I think that

I agree too. I think that it's kind of bad to imply that I since my boyfriend is super skinny (high metabolism and all) that I'm not having as good of sex as I should be. I think it's all about confidence.

But I do agree with the fact that fat girls have more sex. It makes me proud to be included in that category.

Yeah, #3 bothers me, too. It

Yeah, #3 bothers me, too. It creates an unnecessary hierarchy (fat guys are better in bed than skinny guys) when that is exactly what the author is trying to get away from in the first myth (fat women give better head than skinny women). If we want people to be viewed as individuals and not judged due to one thing they may share with others (being fat, thin, cisgender, queer, straight, etc.), then we really need to work on being consistent.

Sex and the Fat Girl: Unicorns, Better Head, and Other Myths

i'll agree with a few of the myths like #1 'cause i AM a fat girl and i LOVE to give head of course i had to be talked into it and once i did it i LOVED IT!

on #2 well i'll admit last summer i WAS rather horny actually i spent most of a LONG hot summer weekend at the beach with a VERY HOT and CUTE "fat man" i know

and on #3 oh HELL NO that's just WRONG he (the man i mentioned) oh gods he was soooooo good it wasn't even funny i'll say this much i was purring like a new born kitten with him

& finally on #4 i'd joked that we were like whales mating but it was fun thorugh we had to get creative, and as it turns out i DO have a rather bad thing for FAT girls and FAT guys (smiles)

#1

I think the thing that makes the least sense about the "better head" assertion is that it's because we're "hungry". More power to you if you literally want to have your dick bitten off and swallowed, dude, but if you don't, that little joke doesn't really work.

(I mean, geez, when I'm hungry so I suck and lick a bagel for ten minutes? ... The answer is no, no I do not.)

Difference being the bagel

Difference being the bagel doesn't fill your mouth with protein juice if you do a good job.

The title of your page needs

The title of your page needs to be changed...Unicorns are in fact real and you are implying that they are not!

"I mean, really. Stop with

"I mean, really. Stop with the "roll her in flour" jokes." ~~~~~~~~~~

I guess the, "lick each fold until you taste poop and then go back one" is WAY out of the arena then...

Blowjob myths

I'm a guy who loves fat girls. I think the stereotype about fat girls giving head is bad too, but I disagree a out the reasons.

First, as a woman, how can you really say fat girls and skinny girls are equally good at blowjobs? I mean, there's no way you can really support that, right? This hides what's really going on, I think: Men are taught to feel ashamed for enjoying sex with women that society says are ugly. So they (we) make up for it by justifying it by saying the head was great.

In other words, maybe redirect the conversation toward the people who say this rather than the people who have this said about them. The question shouldn't be about women's self esteem, in other words, but men's, because we're the ones who propogate ugly stereotypes. By saying the ratio is equal, a claim you really can't support one way or another, you make it about objective truth. It's like saying black people are not REALLY good at basketball, so why does the stereotype exist? Rather than addressing the fact that it's not about basketball but racism. You see what I mean?