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Sex and the Fat Girl: The Joys of Fat Porn

Many fat girls bristle at the mention of fat/BBW porn. Of course among some feminists, any porn can be a hot topic, but for some fat feminist girls there's something in particular that's troubling about the idea that someone gets off on a body simply because it's fat. They may find it exploitative, or objectifying, or demeaning. As a sex-positive, porn-loving, fat, feminist girl I do understand the problems with the porn industry and its history of exploiting women. But the product itself, the porn, I see no problem with unless it's non-consensual. So seeing as how I enjoy porn, I also don't have a problem with fat/BBW porn. I don't see it as offensive or exploitative simply because it's directed at people who get off on seeing fat women's bodies. In fact, I think it's an extremely positive thing to encourage people to see fat women as sexual beings.

It's not as simple as that, of course. The problems start when the fat fetish comes off the computer screen and intrudes into our real lives when it's not welcome, like in our dating lives. I've heard fat girls say they think fat fetishism is creepy, that they feel objectified, that they feel the person with the fetish doesn't like them as a whole person. (Not to say that everyone who dates fat people is a fat fetishist, obviously.) And that may all be true—except the creepy part, of course—but that doesn't mean that other fat girls don't enjoy engaging in fat fetishism and seek out people with said fetish, and it doesn't mean they're wrong for doing so. Yes, usually when you're dating or looking for a relationship you want to avoid people who aren't interested in you as a person, but we shouldn't condemn fat fetishists and the fat girls who love them if they choose those relationships. It's just another form of self-love, really, because if you can accept someone finding the very thing about you that society sees as unappealing attractive, you're really living fat acceptance. That's a positive thing.

I've found that watching porn with fat women in it to be a very good way to learn to appreciate and love your body, and to reinforce the idea that we are capable of enjoying sex just as much as thin women. When I began watching porn with fat women who had bodies like me, it was challenging to see those women's bodies as attractive sometimes—and meeting that challenge is a very important step on the fat acceptance path. I was recently asked my thoughts over at The Adipositivity Project; the inquirer wanted to know if I thought the project (which includes nude photos) was exploitative of fat bodies. I honestly can't see anything exploitative about the consensual display of naked fat women's bodies, whether in a more blatantly fat positive manner such as said project, or the less politically correct manner of fat porn. I think either one can be therapeutic if viewed with an open mind. By "therapeutic" I'm not cheekily trying to say sexually satisfying, although in the case of fat porn, I guess yeah, I am.

Sometimes I wonder if the idea of fat/BBW porn is so disturbing to some because they're just not there yet. Maybe they're just not ready to accept fatness as sexy, maybe they're not far enough down that road—especially if they don't have a problem with porn with thinner people in it. But that's conjecture. I'm interested in your thoughts on the topic. If you feel it's problematic, I'd like to know why. If you just want to testify to its hotness, that's welcome, too.

Let's get a discussion going, and if I get enough material, maybe I'll do another post about this. What do you think?

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Comments

35 comments have been made. Post a comment.

just say yes to fat porn

Human sexuality is fluid, quirky, wide-ranging in its tastes...whatever gets you thru the night, as long as it is consensual. I happen to like hairy, chubby men with a little bit of man boob, good oral hygiene (and skill) and a great sense of humor...is there a niche porn for that? Just wonderin'...

In my own fat chick experience, I've never lacked for partners and really never gave a damn what got them into my bed as long as they were there to scratch the itch (and didn't mind lifting rolls or navigating extra flesh to find it).

Can we be friends please? I'm

Can we be friends please? I'm so uplifted by the fact that you are so unapologetic about your body. I love to be sexual and loving and affectionate, but I always feel the need to apologize for my body. It's like I KNOW that I am sexy, but since the rest of the world doesn't except it, my own knowledge of my sexiness doesn't exist. I do let the world rob me of my self-esteem. I know it's wrong, but all it takes is overhearing a few guys on a street corner to know that the world loves skinny people...Nay, the world loves skinny women. Men can be fat all they want.

Seriously though, I love that you love your body. I wish I could speak with other fat, wonderful women and learn how to not let the asinine world ruin this for me. I'm beautiful and intelligent and amazing...how do I let some extra rolls of fat convince me that I'm not sexy?

I have watched unconventional varieties before, but never been really attracted to it, even as a fat girl. How can we turn this around?

Can We Be Friends?

Seriously I totally feel you....but...don't let the bastards drag you down. Unless you agree with something, it is not a truth for you. You think you're sexy, you want to love your body...go for it! The only reality that matters for you is your own, and when you love yourself, it shines through. Do people hate on big women who love themselves unabashedly? Yeah, I guess that happens. But they also hate on skinny, model-type women who love themselves unabashedly, too. It's jealousy because - you know what? self love is a huge accomplishment and lotsa people just can't get there. If you need a hand, check out Body Love Wellness - www.bodylovewellness.com
Peace to you, sistah. And good luck. You can do it!

You should hang out with my

You should hang out with my crowd. God I love the fat acceptance folks. My (fat) husband and I just did a nude photo shoot for adipositivity, and it was very nerve-racking modesty wise, but VERY awesome in terms of fat-body-loving. For my husband, especially, it was amazing- he grew up in an EXTREMELY fatphobic family, and has always been excessively modest, to the point that we had sexual problems. In fact, he only agreed to do a nude shoot on the condition that Substantia never looked at his junk, and of course no pictures of the junk. But he really bloomed during the shoot, to the point that he was posing proudly, belly AND junk jutting out... it was beautiful.

I know it's tough going against the tide when it comes to feeling good about your body. I think it's something all fat women deal with, and while I really admire the people who manage to be out and proud about their beauty without any background or support, I for one have grabbed all the help I can get. I don't deserve to hate my body- I live with it every day, and it silently hums along, protecting, providing and preserving me every day. Joy Nash on youtube and Kate Harding's Shapely Prose and the BMI Project have been huge encouragements to me. Also, you should know that diets don't work, so it's important to get over the fantasy of being thin. But you know what? It's still a wonderful world full of love. And tasty delicious lovely clothing.

This is me, lovin' it. *hugs*

Adipositivity

Lovely, lovely, lovely photo, Susannah.

The adipositivity site is positively addictive!

The beauty, the sex appeal, the art. Riveting stuff!

It's stiring in me all sorts of feelings:

arousal
awe
repulsion
envy
pride
gratitude
sadness
happiness
and many more.

I Like Fat Boys and Girls (But I'm Not a Fat "Fetishist")

I'm with you... I really wish our culture didn't promote being thin to the point of the exclusion of all other types of beauty. I'm not sure how "thin" became "in", but I still love my gals soft and curvy and my men thick and meaty :) Here's my confession to being a "chubby chaser." http://goddessblue.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/confessions-of-a-chubby-chaser/
It's about the stigma surrounding fat sexiness - and the stigma surrounding the people who recognize fat as sexy. If thin can be sexy, why can't fat be sexy? Why are people who appreciate beautiful fat women's bodies considered "weird" and "objectifying"? I'm not some kind of weirdo!

In my own fat chick

In my own fat chick experience, I've never lacked for partners and really never gave a damn what got them into my bed as long as they were there to scratch the itch (and didn't mind lifting rolls or navigating extra flesh to find it).

This comment is EXACTLY how I've always felt once I was in bed w/a guy. For as long as I can remember, I would tell my (usually smaller) friends they were crazy for freaking over a stretch mark and hiding some part of their back or thighs from a dude who they were banging. Srsly? They have a naked girl in their bed, they don't care about some weird part or blemish. All they are thinking are boobs and naked and sex. Do you analyze every inch of the guy your with? I don't think so...

I agree!

I've discovered that if I feel like watching porn, I automatically gravitate towards BBW porn because I like seeing bodies like my own. If I watch a thin girl in porn, I feel like I'm watching something I don't understand and I focus more on analyzing their bodies, which takes away from the point of porn to me.

Looking at BBW porn

Yes I agree, I always when looking at any porn, I look at Big Girls. To me it is far sexy than the normal porn with our reconised porn type girls. To me big girls have always been sexy, and will always look at and enjoy those girls. Robbie UK

Still too marginal.

To most porn-enthusiasts I know, fat/ BBW porn is still considered freaky...along the same lines as midget porn, preggo porn, or hairy porn. It's not yet in the mainstream, and is something only fetishists will watch. One rather obese girl I know was reduced to tears when she overheard a group of guys joking over how "gross" fat porn is. So not only did she feel objectified (she's only as good as her body), but the whole thing was demeaning and humiliating. In one sense, I can see some feeling empowered by having a whole subsection of porn dedicated to their appearance, but it doubly hurts when another is visibly disgusted by it. But at the same time, *why* are some disgusted by it? Is it society? The media? Their own misguided insecurities? No idea, but I feel that so long as it's still marginalised, true acceptance just won't happen.

This is exactly why I dislike

This is exactly why I dislike fat/BBW porn. I don't honestly believe that people who view fat porn do so in a way that celebrates the beauty of a larger woman's form or in an exotic way. I believe people view fat porn in the same matter that people view a train wreck - is it gross and distributing but you cannot look away.

This coming from a fat girl who enjoys porn.

A little late, I know. But

A little late, I know. But even if it is just read by others who stumble upon this article:

As a person who reads, watches and loves fat/BBW porn I would like to assure you (and everyone else who is reading this): I do watch fat/BBW porn because it celebrates fat women. Because I prefer the bodies of fat women and I love to see them. Because they are beautiful. I hope you will be able to believe that.

No one is a train wreck.
Besides those made of steel.

I think

I think http://www.queerporn.tv is a great example of how to feature chubby and fat bodies in a hot and empowering way. There are some great queer fat performers, like Sophia St. James and crossover performers like April Flores. For me, what's important (in any porn, but especially with fat porn) is that there's a real sense of attraction and chemistry. Fetishization without respect is what feels creepy to me.

difficult intersection

I completely agree with the post about queer porn above, and I'm posting this as a new comment rather than a reply to her because I don't wish to give the inaccurate impression that the problematizing I'm about to do is intended to contradict or undermine what she said.

Queer porn definitely deals with fat bodies (and very thin or less curvaceous bodies, and lots of bodies) better than mainstream porn, and I think part of this has to do with the radical perspectives already tending to be part of queer (especially as delineated from gay, per se) culture, but also I think this leads to a false sense of relief because the queering of fat bodies and experience pretty much is what keeps them marginalized in the mainstream. Therefore, settling for body-inclusivity in queer contexts unfortunately challenges nothing about mainstream perspectives on fat or other othered types of bodies.

So there's this difficult thing where the porn that's actually MORE important to reform - since even the most radical idealist can't believe we're going to wipe it out and replace it with non-problematic material any time very soon - is the porn that's the hardest to respect, and that we (the enlightened sex-posi/FA progressives) will still feel pretty crummy about the far-reaching cultural impact of even if a total revolution is achieved.

Boring straight vanilla porn needs fat bodies. Sketchy, exploitative, degrading (but not fetishistic) porn needs fat bodies. Racially problematic porn needs fat bodies. Porn that depicts fetishes needs fat bodies, but for them not to be a fetish. Not for the sake of the porn, but that's where the mainstream actually sits down to eat. They aren't being challenged at all by the broader body representation in radical queer porn.

--
rljd

As a fattie fat fat, and a

As a fattie fat fat, and a sex-positive porn lover, I have to say that when I decided to come to terms with my body, I actively sought out BBW porn, erotica and art. Thousands of fatphobic comments required counteracting- because I took in so many negative comments about fat and, conversely, positive comments about skinniness(such as "flabby, pasty thighs" or "gracefully slender like a reed", I needed lots of fat adoration to beat back my ingrained self-hatred. I needed to see folks lick their lips in anticipation of jumping their jiggly partner, and hear the paeans to the loveliness of fat bodies before I could fully appreciate my own body.

Actually, the genesis of my exploration into loving fat bodies was dating a "chubby chaser" briefly. He was very clearly turned on by everything about me, and it's really hard to beat that. I think that describing fat lovers as "fetishists" may well be a misnomer- in my experience, there's a wide continuum between "enjoying trait X"/"looking for trait X" and "focusing only on trait X". I'd like to hear from fat folks who have had people interested in them only because of their fat. I'm tending towards believing that this is more a symptom of ingrained fatphobia by the fat girls themselves, because anyone who likes or loves fat MUST be a suspicious character, but that might be completely unfair. I just haven't had that experience. (I have, however, had the rich and inviting experience of meeting people so hard up for sex and love that weight no longer matters when it once may have. Sexy!)

I'd also like to hear people's thoughts about the major complaint I hear from fat lovers- that fat women hate their bodies and find it incredibly difficult to accept love.

I totally agree and identify

I totally agree and identify with a lot of what you said here, especially regarding looking to representations of the sexualized fat body for confirmation that we are, in fact, beautiful and sexual beings.

I'd like to hear from fat folks who have had people interested in them only because of their fat. I'm tending towards believing that this is more a symptom of ingrained fatphobia by the fat girls themselves, because anyone who likes or loves fat MUST be a suspicious character, but that might be completely unfair.

While you are totally right about not all fat admirers being fetishists or creepsters, I've experienced things (in my younger, not-so-wise days) getting icky because the dude likes the fatness and the sex and all, but refuses to develop a relationship any further or be seen with you in public because he's basically a "closeted" chubby chaser in that respect. He can grab your fat rolls and whatnot, but he cannot bear the thought of you meeting his friends, for fear of how he might be judged. At that point, it is very clearly objectification and not a cool situation to be in at all.

In a similar instance, I was briefly seeing a different guy who also refused to be seen in public with me and only seemed interested in sex (to the point where it was literally like, "ok, that was great... now go home"). I thought that he was just another closeted fat admirer, but I later found out that he had a non-fat girlfriend (who is now his wife), but cheated on her with several fat women he met on campus. So, he was 1) a jerk and 2) very clearly using fat women for sex in a way that reeks of objectification.

Also possibly at the back of some fat women's minds, especially on college campuses, is the fear of being the target of hogging (also known as a "dogfight" - a competition amongst a group of men to bang the fattest or ugliest girl they can find, as if for sport). Thankfully, this has never happened to me personally, but I am quite aware of the practice and have heard the horror stories of a girl going back to the dorms with a guy who seems genuinely interested, only to be barged in on mid-coitus by a bunch of frat boys with Polaroid cameras, whooping and hollering and high-fiving one another.

I know my reply makes me sound like a total Debbie Downer, but since you asked... ya know. Also, I think you're still absolutely correct in hypothesizing that internalized fat-phobia plays a part in the fear that anyone who could possibly be interested in me must have something severely wrong with them. This is clearly not the case most of the time, and those of us working through many layers of ingrained fat hatred may struggle to get past it and embrace our sexuality (and thankfully, as my awareness and self esteem have developed I've enjoyed healthier, happier relationships). My examples are worst case scenarios of unhealthy situations, and are certainly not typical (although the first two were actual experiences of mine - lucky me).

Oh no!

Wow, those are some shitty experiences! I knew I was being pretty unfair, but I didn't fully appreciate how crazy I was. I've had some degrading sex/relationship stuff in my life, but fortunately nothing relating to my fat directly. I am so mad on your behalf! What schmucks. I guess I'll take comfort in the fact that those dudes will never be in a long-term sexually satisfying relationship, and they're the obstacles to their own happiness. So fucked up!

I still struggle with accepting my body, even having had fairly positive feedback on my body from all my partners. I've turned down the volume to an annoying buzz, that mainly focuses on my frustration with my upper arms- honestly, my upper body is a 2X and my arms are a 4X. It's tough to find clothes that fit excellently. But, for the most part I don't have the fits of self-hatred that I used to. I find this especially tough because I got all the good breaks. My mom was a skinny doctor who loved all bodies, as well as openly enjoyed food. (I have only recently realized that enjoying food guilt-free is all too rare.) She raised me very feminist and never criticized my body. Yet I absorbed enough of these messages that I would wish for "a little" anorexia, and I believed that my personality was "fat"- that anyone could see that I was lazy, immoderate, dull, so on, so forth. Anorexics get more respect in American culture than fat girls- and I knew it from the beginning. This is the thing that makes me most bitter and fightin' mad, and ready to take on the motherfuckers that perpetrate the lies and the crazy. Because if I struggle with all these things, how much more do people struggle who had the deck stacked against them?

Thanks for your comment- it gave me some important stuff to chew on!

To late, but still the dude

To late, but still

the dude likes the fatness and the sex and all, but refuses to develop a relationship any further or be seen with you in public because he's basically a "closeted" chubby chaser in that respect.

You are right. We, the Fat Admirers are way to often in the closet. If the people we desire can live the whole day being discriminated for being fat, we surely can live with being discriminated once in a while for admiring fat people.

SELF ACCEPTANCE

I THINK I'M A GREAT PERSON. A GREAT PERSON. EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. I'M OVERWEIGHT AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT. I HAVE A MOST AMAZING MATE. HE IS 14 YRS YOUNGER THAN ME AND VERY SLENDER. HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY. AND ALL I CAN WONDER IS WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH HIM? WE GET ALONG ON SO MANY LEVELS AND HE IS COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH OUR SEX LIFE. I JUST CAN'T ACCEPT MY BODY AND BE COMFORTABLE DURING SEX.
HOW DO I LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF COMPLETELY?

thoughts on Fetish ...

The way I first understood it, "fetish" was something that became an obsession, possibly unhealthy, something that a person had to have, like not being able to get aroused or get off without smelling leather. Short of that, I guess it's personal tastes. *shrug*
I guess what concerns me is a drive to say, "oh THAT's a fetish, but THIS is a perfectly normal attraction." It's not, in my mind, WHAT the attraction is but how far it is taken. I mean, do we next try to stamp out erotic depictions that include feet just because there are some seriously obsessed foot fetishists out there?

I think better in bullets!

1. Fat people should be more visible in porn, because fat people should be more visible EVERYWHERE, because fat people exist, god damn it.

2. If we agree to the above, then we should hope and expect that people who are watching said porn would be turned on by it, since that is, you know, the point of porn.

3. When someone says "man, I really get off watching fat girls in porn" that is very different from saying "I ONLY get off watching fat girls in porn", which (to me) is the line between preference and fetish.

4. As a fat girl, I have to say that I would actively LOVE to date someone who has a preference for my body type. Who wouldn't? If you met a nice, funny, smart person who thought the same about you AND happened to be really keen on seeing you naked? Sounds like a dream! I find that I have more hurdles to jump when looking for someone to date (men more than women, but women too) because I don't have the kind of body that makes people traditionally turn their heads (at least in a positive way). I'm not the girl people cross a room to talk to. So when they do? That's a nice change, and gives me a chance to let them see that I'm fat, and I'm also fabulous.

5. The "fetish" part of this is still a grey area for me. If it means a guy will sleep with ANY fat girl, that's a problem. If it means he'll sleep with ONLY fat girls, but ones he talks to, and likes, and who like him back, well. I don't see much of an issue with that, any more than the mild frustration I feel at guys who will only date girls who are Asian, or girls who are short. When a preference runs that strong, where does it cross from "not the mainstream, but okay" to "totally wrong"?

Bullet #4

As a fat girl, I have to say that I would actively LOVE to date someone who has a preference for my body type. Who wouldn't? If you met a nice, funny, smart person who thought the same about you AND happened to be really keen on seeing you naked? Sounds like a dream! I find that I have more hurdles to jump when looking for someone to date (men more than women, but women too) because I don't have the kind of body that makes people traditionally turn their heads (at least in a positive way).

There are lots of men (and women) who while they don't necessarily "prefer" a fat body type, aren't repulsed by it either and will be attracted to you regardless if you put yourself out there -- and by that I mean, dress yourself well, have confidence, shake your groove thang.

But your comment brings up another problem I have found: Many fat women don't want to date/hook up with OTHER FAT PEOPLE. I've been with all kinds, fat and thin, and usually its the personal charm that wins them a ticket into my chubby wonderland (again, it's gotta be combined with good hygiene and good hair...but that's my own fetish). I have several large girlfriends, however, who don't want anything to do with men who aren't in what's conventionally seen as "good shape".

So walk your talk, ladies -- if you want to be accepted, you must practice acceptance...besides, it increases the dating pool of eligible partners!

New to Bitch

I wasn't convinced you had anything to say to me. But the link to Adipositivity has me in tears. I haven't dated in seven years. I went past overweight during Jr. High and HS at least ten years ago and straight into obese. But I thought it'd stopped being an issue for me. I'm not shy, I'm very sexual, I even get hit on every so often, sometimes by men who are more than up to snuff. But I suppose I'd convinced myself that I was content alone (and I am), but the reasons for my unwillingness to date are more muddled.

A few months ago, I spent a short time browsing a BBW dating site. Some of the men were attractive, but I figured they simply wanted a bit on the sly. Mostly I convinced myself they were looking for curvy women, 'huge' women. I look at the photos on Adipositivity and I'm not revolted. I see parts of myself in some of the bodies. But the thought of me naked, someone seeing all of my flaws, all of my fat, makes me physically nauseous. I don't even know how to have "fat sex." The thing is, I don't have low self-esteem. It sounds like it, but I don't. I think highly of myself in some areas, don't take flack off of anyone, and I think I'm good enough to have high standards (not the 'you must be perfect' standards, but standards of respect, intelligence and attraction). But rather than have those high standards be met with ridicule, I simply shut down. And now I don't know how to be desirable when my body inspires revulsion in me.

And until now, I didn't even realize it was revulsion. I don't want to be this size forever, but I'd like to be able to accept a come-on from someone without analyzing it, wondering if it's a joke, wondering if they pity me, etc. I know that fat women can be desired. My mother was big after about 25 and had no trouble attracting men. So I'm at a loss. And these days, I even wonder if a new friend hangs out with me because she pities me. 'Am I her fat friend?' Sigh.

I just have hugs and love.

*hugs* Oh sweetie. I'm right there with you. I just want you to know that when you look at your body and see flaws, there is someone out there, someone you want to be with, who will look at your body and see every part as gorgeous, perfect and just what he's always wanted.

It's really tough to hear about your worries that people who are interested in you might have ulterior motives. It's hard to live your life doubting the people around you, and believing that you couldn't inspire friendship, loyalty, affection and sexual fire. You can. Please find some of the fat acceptance folks around you- hell, email Substantia Jones, the photographer behind Adipositivity, the woman is a golden goddess of glorious gaiety- and come meet your sisters and brothers. It's OK to put yourself in an unabashedly positive environment. There won't be any brainwashing or taping eyes open. Just acceptance.

Some of my background is in comments above- but in point of fact, posing for Adipositivity catapulted my body love through the roof, when it was pretty iffy before. Pictures of me have always seemed like some other person, some awkwardly heavy person- but the pictures of me taken by Ms Jones look like I feel inside. Happy, confident, delightfully fat with lovely folds and delicious dips. It's hard to express how seeing myself through her eyes changed things. I hope you find a way to see your beauty through other eyes, and get a new perspective.

that hits home

I could have written these parts:

"I went past overweight during Jr. High and HS at least ten years ago and straight into obese. . . . I'm not shy, I'm very sexual, I even get hit on every so often, sometimes by men who are more than up to snuff. But I suppose I'd convinced myself that I was content alone . . .

"But the thought of me naked, someone seeing all of my flaws, all of my fat, makes me physically nauseous. . . . I think highly of myself in some areas, don't take flack off of anyone, and I think I'm good enough to have high standards (not the 'you must be perfect' standards, but standards of respect, intelligence and attraction). But rather than have those high standards be met with ridicule, I simply shut down. And now I don't know how to be desirable when my body inspires revulsion in me."

I completely, completely identify. I'm 28, I just joined eHarmony and before each date I'm sure the men will be repulsed by me. The ones that aren't and contact me for a second date, I wonder, "What on earth could they be thinking? Are they that desperate?" And sex . . . ugh. I, too, am highly sexual, highly in tune with my sexuality, but the thought of certain parts being seen naked holds me back from a lot: great, no-holds bar sex, going past a second date with anyone at all, being seen naked, being touched certain places, dating thin or smaller men. . . .

There are so many ways feminism has helped me deal with sexism, insecurity, being a woman, etc., but nothing seems to help me fight this war on my insecure body image.

Anyway, my empathy is yours, LowBlow.

TOOK THE WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH!

I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. IS THERE HELP FOR US? LIFE WOULD BE GREAT IF NOT FOR THE FACT I HATE MY BODY.

Greatful for BBW Porn

I read some of these comments and wanted to cry. We must first remember that this fat-oppression is VERY time and culture related. Throughout time and even now in some of the Eastern cultures, large women were/are the ideal. When you hear negativity, I say that it is reflective of men and women with no historical or biological sense of reality.

Now, as to BBW porn, I am thankful for it. I am a larger woman, but as a former athlete, I tend to look exactly the same, big or small. I never get that amazing FEM thing that truly curvy women have. My gratitude comes from the fact that my husband likes BBW, the "real" ones. He is a wonderful lover to me and I know he thinks I am hot (cause really, who wouldn't, LOL) but sometimes he wants more than I am willing to be. So if I get out of bed and find him cruising the web, I am very happy for him, and those women. It is, in it's own way, a love match.

Now, as it happens, I ADORE a well-fed man. But should he, god forbid, become ill and get skinny again the way he was when we met, I would still love him. I know he feels the same.

That's what all people need, big or small. Someone who adores you for your. Size, but will still love you should you lose it.
There's my 35 cents!

Not Into Fat Porn

As a big girl with a great sex life who LOVES porn, this post struck a cord. I'll be buying porn today for V-day, and it will be decidedly skinny girl. Fat porn never even crossed my mind. Last night I sat up and wondered, "Am I denying my own sexuality?" I don't think so. I don't try to compare myself with those girls. In many ways they are more a personification of sexuality than actual people. Feeling any insecurity that I'm not as skinny as them is as ridiculous as my husband feeling insecure about not being as large as my vibrator. Would he like it if I had a skinny waist and huge tits? Probably. God knows I'd love it if he had a rotating tip. But at the end of the day we both know that none of that is real. The vibrator isn't going to hug me and tell me it loves me, and the porn girls aren't going to get up and make him breakfast (well, I won't either, but that is another matter.)

I think fat porn would make me more self-conscious of my weight. Kind of a "Oh, so that's what I look like. . . " response. Currently the bedroom is one of the only places on earth where I can strip off the stigma and judgements and just be the super sexy hottie my hubby treats me as.

So I don't seek out fat porn. I do however seek out more postive images of big girls being sexual and desirable in traditional media. We need more shows like Mike and Molly that depict big girls as more than just the sassy best friend or hard-nosed bitch. When that happens maybe porns will start showing big girls as beautiful and not just fat. Then I might watch . . .

Fat Fetish

I just wish we could get to the point where being sexually aroused by a fat person was no longer considered a fetish, but a preference.

Fat Fetish?

I have always loved fay/chubby girls for as long as I can remember. I don't consider it a fetish though. I also like redheads it isn't a fetish to be attracted to a body type or look. Is being attracted to white women a fetish or just what someone finds arousing? Maybe if fat-girl porn was just considered porn it wouldn't feel so creepy. If I want to date a woman is it going to be someone I find attractive in some way or not? Of course its going to be someone I'm attracted to...Why would that be creepy? If a guy at a gym saw a toned tall brunet and that was his type would it be creepy to talk to her and ask her out to try and get to know her? BBW porn maybe niche but not fetish. I like anal porn, that is a fetish. I can watch porn with out anal sex in it though. I like fat girls because I find them sexy, why would I watch skinny girl porn when they aren't sexy to me? All the feminist bbws who feel I am doing something wrong with this attitude of mine should look at themselves closer. They don't have an eye color, skin tone, height, weight, facial hair style, etc that they find attractive? For all I know they might be objectifying tall men right now and thats ok if they are attracted to tall men. Also maybe they would like themselves better if they didn't think of themselves as a fetish!

Sex and the Fat Girl

My wife and I both enjoy watching fat porn together. My wife is a fat woman that weighs 229 pounds and I love sex with her. I use to be one of those guys that only liked women that weighed between 110 to 150 pounds until I got divorced and I tried a fat girl that weighed about 360 pounds and found out I loved sex with her more than with a little anorexic woman that weighed between 100 pounds and 150 pounds. She opened my eyes to sex with a fat girl, I meet my wife 3 years ago and we started off just FB's and then started dating about 6 months later at the time she weighed 300 pounds and could do everything a little bone woman could do. It was then I found fat porn and we both liked it and now we have been marred for a year and we have a big collection of fat porn with women that weigh from 280 to 500 pounds in them. If a person has never watched fat porn they need to it is a lot better than porn with little bony women in them and for the single guys out there drop the bony girls and go for a real woman that is fat that weighs between 250 and 400 pounds you will love the sex a lot more than with a little bony woman. I know I did and I still love sex with my fat wife.

YOU SOUND LIKE MY HUSBAND

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS. I FEEL BETTER KNOWING MY HUSBAND COULD ACTUALLY LOVE SEX WITH ME. WE HAVEN'T WATCHED PORN WITH FAT WOMEN BUT, I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE PORN WE HAVE WATCHED.

Great article

I've been a FA (Fat Admirer) since early childhood. I also respond to the whole fat fetish thing, because very few things (if any) aside from a large woman's beautiful body can turn me on. Yet, I feel that I could and will love the woman I find sexually arousing. These things are not mutually exclusive.

I'm not the kind of person who bangs someone and then feels ashamed to present her to the family. I don't give a damn about what others think about me in that regard. As much as I like flab, love handles, folds and folds of jiggly flesh, I'm also quite convinced of certain moral/ethical standards about treating people like I would like to be treated myself (kantian moral imperative). Hence, if I feel a girl deserves a close contact with me, then she's good enough for my family and everyone else, for that matter.

I agree with the author of the article that fat fetishism is empowering, in the sense that finding fat beautiful and gorgeous changes mainstream perceptions on beauty and gives people the hope that someone out there finds incredibly seductive what others simple see with repulsion. It relativizes beauty and shows aesthetics in a new light...

I live in Colombia (not ColUmbia!), a South American country, where girls are much thinner than in the US or Europe.

In loving fat, I love fat girls and wish you all happiness and fulfillment of your dearest dreams. Fat girls all over the world UNITE! and defeat this idiotic system that tells everyone what to think, even against what many naturally feel. You BBW and SSBBW inspire me each and every day with your incredible beauty and tenacity. Each day when I go through the public bus system in Bogotá, on a rainy day, there's nothing more conforting than seeing a plump girl sitting next to me.

Fat Acceptance

I'm a 30-something BBW who used to be very thin in high school. I have had to experience a complete change of life the bigger I got.

I forgot who commented earlier, but someone said that watching fat girl porn makes them more comfortable with their own body, as opposed to watching skinny girls who we feel little in common with. I happen to totally agree. I am mostly straight (mostly heehee), but I love watching other big girls enjoy their bodies. It makes ME feel sexy. I feel like I am wanted. It also helps me be more adventurous with men, and more willing to explore. I am all for fat porn, and I think most fat girls like me are for it as well.

I've always found the idea of

I've always found the idea of "porn= evil" to be dubious. I don't like the exploitative kinda porn, the kind of porn that gets me off big time is when I see a chick really enjoy herself and anyone who's against that is crazy :P

A few years ago I didn't like chubby girls, I was more a long the lines of liking "stick" or "twig" girls. My perspectives have changed a bit. I'm not too fond about skinny women, I think all women should have some nice softness to them, they don't need to be stick figures, a bit of chubbiness is nice, more is better- we want to be able to hug and hold on someone soft y'know, not some wooden log.

I've reached the point where if I come across a girl who's on the chubby side, AWESOME! And more importantly if she has some confidence, self worth- don't think that being on the chubby side that it's bad, as long as you chubby AND healthy in the same time, you're good and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Hopefully soon I'll find such a gal and she's gonna be mine >:)

End point: fat isn't good, chubby is ;)
Fat is unhealthy as is skinny. So whatever you do, keep the chubbs, don't let it get out of control and keep healthy. And besides, chubbiness is quite beneficial if you're planning on having a baby, there's some nice protection and kids love it... And, don't forget, your hubby will like it too.