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May the Ads Be Ever in Your Favor: Mad Men Meets the Hunger Games!

red and black mad men logo with text underneath that reads may the ads be ever in your favor

Pop culture fans are buzzing about two things and two things only this season: the return of Mad Men to the small screen and the premiere of The Hunger Games on the big screen.

With all of the hype surrounding them, these two feminist favorites are begging to be combined somehow. While it's difficult to imagine Katniss Everdeen clocking in at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (you know she wouldn't put up with Roger's shenanigans for one second), picturing the buttoned-up SCDP execs fighting to the death in a Panem arena is easy—with all of their lying, cheating, and conniving, these folks have been training for the Hunger Games their entire lives without realizing it.

So what would happen if the Capitol sent 24 characters from Mad Men to the arena to kill or be killed? Would Betty's ennui be enough to take on Don's powers of manipulation? Does Sally have what it takes to compete against Joan? Can Roger convince his sponsors to keep the booze coming? Which Mad Men tribute truly has the odds ever in their favor?

We imagined said SCDP Hunger Games in the infographic below. Take a look at our arena, and vote in our poll to determine which tribute would be the victor! (Click on the image for a larger version, click here to download a .doc file description of the infographic).

Mad Men Hunger Games info graphic. Intro paragraph reads: Pop culture fans are buzzing about two things and two things only this season: the return of Mad Men to the small screen and the premiere of The Hunger Games on the big screen. </p />
<p>With all of the hype surrounding them, these two feminist favorites are begging to be combined somehow. While it's difficult to imagine Katniss Everdeen clocking in at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (you know she wouldn't put up with Roger's shenanigans for one second), picturing the buttoned-up SCDP execs fighting to the death in a Panem arena is easy—with all of their lying, cheating, and conniving, these folks have been training for the Hunger Games their entire lives without realizing it.<br />
So what would happen if the Capitol sent 24 characters from Mad Men to the arena to kill or be killed? Is Betty's ennui be enough to take on Don's powers of manipulation? Does Sally have what it takes to compete against Joan? Can Roger convince his sponsors to keep the booze coming? Which Mad Men tribute truly has the odds ever in their favor? </p>
<p>On the top of the page is a grid depicting black and white illustrations of all 24 tributes. Next to that grid is a pie graph that designates who is in which district: SCDP Execs, Nine to Fivers, the Outskirts, the Steno Pool, or the Netherworld. Running along the left side of the page are more graphics. The first the Feast at the Cornucopia, which depicts a tractor a diamond ring a bottle of poison and a copy of the Atlantic. The second is From Our Sponsors, which depicts parachutes carrying the following items: Utz potato chips, a suitcase, a box of life cereal, a calendar, and a wastebasket full of tissue with lip prints. A silhouette of a woman is reaching up to grab the lipstick bucket. On the right side of the page is a silhouette of a man hanging upside down from a tree, a silhouette of a rifle, a silhouette of a woman running, a silhouette of a man throwing a can of Patio soda, and a silhouette of a boy holding a noose made of human hair.</p>
<p>The text in the grid listing each tribute's strengths and weaknesses reads: Roger<br />
STRENGTH Roger has a huge ego and a disregard for others—necessary traits for facing off against friends and coworkers.<br />
WEAKNESS Charming sarcasm doesn't work in a kill-or-be-killed scenario.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Sharpened silver spoon.</p>
<p>Bert<br />
STRENGTH Bert has military experience and a mind for strategy.<br />
WEAKNESS Old age may bring wisdom, but it doesn't win Hunger Games.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Samurai sword.</p>
<p>Don<br />
STRENGTH Don was made for the Hunger Games: He's strong, selfish, and willing to sacrifice all personal relationships to get ahead. Plus he's done this sort of thing before.<br />
WEAKNESS That pack-a-day smoking habit might slow him down.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Bare hands.</p>
<p>Lane<br />
STRENGTH Lane is a dark horse—often underestimated, and not as nice as he looks.<br />
WEAKNESS A posh upbringing that didn't prepare him for hand-to-hand combat.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE<br />
Billy club.</p>
<p>Trudy<br />
STRENGTH Trudy knows what she wants and how to get it. Plus, she's married to Pete, so you know she could snap at any minute.<br />
WEAKNESS Maternal instincts that won't quit—not even in the arena.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE An envy-<br />
inducing wardrobe.</p>
<p>Henry<br />
STRENGTH Henry is the director of public relations for the mayor of New York City, and image counts in the Hunger Games.<br />
WEAKNESS Paternal instincts.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Government connections.</p>
<p>Sally<br />
STRENGTH Sally is sharp as a tack and merciless to boot. She's also small and cute, making her all the more deadly.<br />
WEAKNESS Lacking in size, physical strength, and parental supervision.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Poison.</p>
<p>Betty<br />
STRENGTH Betty has a strong sense of self-preservation and a serious mean streak.<br />
WEAKNESS Cool detachment might've helped in a marriage to Don, but not in the arena.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Ennui.</p>
<p>Carla<br />
STRENGTH Carla is cool, calm, and collected.<br />
WEAKNESS Being a good person isn't always good when it comes to the Games.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Icy stare.</p>
<p>Bobby<br />
STRENGTH Bobby has been played by four different actors and counting—that anonymity could work to his advantage.<br />
WEAKNESS He's 10 years old.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Camouflauge.</p>
<p>Jane<br />
STRENGTH Jane is a lot meaner than she looks.<br />
WEAKNESS Doesn't hold her booze too well.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Razor-sharp<br />
diamond rings.</p>
<p>Megan<br />
STRENGTH Megan is a go-getter with a powerful hold on most of the men in the office, including ally (and husband) Don Draper.<br />
WEAKNESS There's no use in<br />
wanting to be liked when everyone's trying to kill you.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Burlesque.</p>
<p>Lois<br />
STRENGTH Lois is a seasoned gossip, and won't hesitate to use her fellow tributes' secrets against them.<br />
WEAKNESS Cries at the drop of<br />
a hat.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Ride-on lawnmower.</p>
<p>Peggy<br />
STRENGTH Peggy has the drive and determination to compete, and she's learned a few things from Don about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer.<br />
WEAKNESS Her Village Voice reporter boyfriend's antiviolence politics may have rubbed off on her.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Traps.</p>
<p>Paul<br />
STRENGTH Paul loves Orson Welles and the Twilight Zone, so you know he's already worked out a strategy for a kill-or-be-killed scenario.<br />
WEAKNESS His desire for street cred might keep him from trying hard enough.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Disguise.</p>
<p>Duck<br />
STRENGTH<br />
Duck, a former Marine, claims to have killed 17 men in the Battle of Okinawa. Even if that's only half true, he's prepared to do what it takes.<br />
WEAKNESS The stench of desperation makes him an easy target.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Lack of social grace.</p>
<p>Joan<br />
STRENGTH<br />
Joan is resourceful, cunning, and capable, but her biggest strength is her ability to manipulate her surroundings—fellow tributes included.<br />
WEAKNESS A sense of propriety that won't fly in an arena of death.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Blowgun hidden in a pen around her neck.</p>
<p>Harry<br />
STRENGTH Harry is smart and has a knack for forming alliances with the right people. And he always eats first.<br />
WEAKNESS What's the opposite of ruthlessness? Yeah, that.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Bag of White Castle sliders. </p>
<p>Faye<br />
STRENGTH Faye's PhD in market research could easily become a weapon of psychological warfare.<br />
WEAKNESS A strong sense of right and wrong that makes killing difficult.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE<br />
Secrets.</p>
<p>Sal<br />
STRENGTH Sal has a great spatial-temporal reasoning ability that could come in handy in the arena. He's also a good liar.<br />
WEAKNESS Lacks the cold-bloodedness necessary to win.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Patio soda.</p>
<p>Ken<br />
STRENGTH Ken is a dreamer whose creativity could serve him well when the weapons are drawn.<br />
WEAKNESS Easily distracted.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Byline in<br />
the Atlantic.</p>
<p>Pete<br />
STRENGTH Pete will do anything to win—a valuable trait in a game with no rules.<br />
WEAKNESS Everyone wants to kill this guy.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Rifle.</p>
<p>Glen<br />
STRENGTH Glen is extremely creepy. Plus he's a kid, which could work to his advantage.<br />
WEAKNESS So off-putting that no one will think twice about murdering him.<br />
WEAPON OF CHOICE Noose made of human hair.</p>
<p>Ida<br />
STRENGTH Ida was once described as a WEAKNESS Technically, she's already dead.
WEAPON OF CHOICE Cat-eye
X-ray specs." width="693" height="2420" />

Vote for your favorite tribute in our poll, and let us know in the comments how you think the games might go down. Who would the final two be? The first to die? Who'd form alliances and who'd be an outcast? SO MANY SCENARIOS! Matt Weiner, get on this for season six please.

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Comments

7 comments have been made. Post a comment.

First to go: Lois, at the

First to go: Lois, at the Cornucopia, with (her own) lawnmower…or…Trudy trying to save all the children is killed by all the children

I almost feel like Betty

I almost feel like Betty should have the rifle since she took that bird out back in the day.

How It'll Go Down

Peggy & Joan convince Megan to perform “Zou Bisou Bisou,” which captures the undivided attention of all the men. This results in all of their women attacking them and killing them, leaving only the women of the herd . . . and Don, who ran off by himself.

Eventually, the other women whine, worry and bicker themselves into attack, injury, starvation, etc. (occasionally falling for Don’s seductions, of course), leaving Peggy, Joan, and Sally to plot on how to find & overthrow Don, since they know him best.

Don uses Joan’s motherly instincts against her, with Sally as bait for a trap, which renders Peggy and Don as the final survivors…

Peggy had been fermenting grapes she found since the beginning, and when Don is offered the first drink he’s had in WEEKS, becomes distracted enough that Peggy makes her move…

The victor: Peggy!

LANE

I think, based on last nights' episode, Lane should move higher in the ranks. My guess is, his dad (who has a working-class accent) was a salesman who who became a self-man man and sent his son to posh schools, where he was bullied for his origins, so he learned boxing to protect himself. Also, weren't British boarding schools of the time hellholes where they put children through harsh discipline to prepare them to help run the Empire? I only know Britsh culture from the media, so I could be wrong.

*****************************************************************
"Oh don't the days seem lank and long
When all goes right and nothing goes wrong
And isn't your life extremely flat
When you've nothing whatever to grumble at?"

--W.S. Gilber

Pete Campbell = Foxface.

Pete Campbell = Foxface. Yes?

Yes!

Yes!

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