Hear ye, hear ye: The Douchebag Decree Decree.

Word.

Yes, yes, yes!!!!

Douchebag as an adjective is not anti-feminist. Douches are implements of White Patriarchy that fuck up my p.h. balance and piss off my cunt and cunt-loving sensibilities.

Thank you for this.

I am keeping this forever because I get tired of explaining my use of this word all the damn time. Next time I will just send people the link to this post. Hopefully they will walk away not only understanding my position better but also as fans of your publication. I like multi-tasking.

For real. Also, I loved you before, but I love you, Bitch, even more for quoting Bring It On. <3

... John C. Mayer would have been this week's recipient. Thankfully it was covered very well elsewhere:

WHEN RACEFAIL MEETS PLAYBOY: THE JOHN MAYER INTERVIEW

John Mayer Makes Fewer Black Friends After Playboy Interview

In Which John Mayer Is A Douchebag For Possibly The Last Time

It's Impossible To Have "A Benetton Heart" And A "White Supremacist Dick"

I always roll my eyes reading all the comments that begin with, "Guess what? That's a hygiene product!" by people who clearly did not look into your many explanations at all. This past week's set was especially heinous and needlessly insulting. Hopefully this post marks the end of all that.

YESSSSSS! Way to go, Bitch! I got so sick of people whining about the finer points of douchebag, rather than actually respecting the people who wrote the articles. Be informed and leave relevant comments!

After reading this, I love Bitch even more.

Pointing out douchebaggery is a long standing tradition at Bitch Magazine and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading those posts. Some more blunt name for it (such as Ye Old Asshole Decree) could be used instead, but the current title works just fine and is probably less offensive to some people. I'm sure almost everyone knows that the title is a figure of speech. The posts are almost always entertaining. If only non-controversial posts were published the press would not be very free.

if the word DOUCHEBAG offends you, then you are a DOUCHEBAG.
Love this post!!

A friend and I regularly play a game we call 'Douche'.

Here's how to play: say to other player(s), "I have a ruling on X--Douche!"

X could be John Mayer, John Edwards, anyone we believe to be worthy of the title.

It's fun! And we rarely disagree.

And speaking of John Mayer, maybe he could be given an All Star award, and his jersey retired. I mean, what else left for him to accomplish, really?

All I really can say is LOL.

You guys are pretty much terrible at this.

Agreed. Nice post.

Also- side note. I was in class at our local community college last night when the professor suddenly asks, "What's with people calling other people douchebags? Why would you call someone a feminine hygiene product as an insult?"

My hand shot up in the air so fast! I thought immediately of the douchebag degree of this fine publication. :)

I gave him (and the class) the whole spiel about how douche is damaging and totally unnecessary, which is exactly the definition of someone who is a douchebag, or commits an act of douchebaggery.

really just say "cheerocracy" lolololol? it burns a little inside now, but you've definitely got me giggling on that one!

and you've got a +1 on the use of "douche" and all it's variations here! there's one major thing that douches and the people you post about have in common: THEY'RE BAD FOR WOMEN. under that thought, i as well feel that there is no reason that "douchebag" is an unacceptable term.

The UC Regents. I don't know if you've been keeping up with the student protests occurring on all University of California campuses, but the situation here is getting pretty bad. The fat cats on top keep getting richer, the poor students (many of whom are students of color) and low-paid workers keep getting screwed over. There's talk of cutting 200 service jobs on campus to save money, while the President of the UC gets over $500,000 a year. And to do what? To raise student fees for the sake of bond collateral. They hiked our fees 32%, and now Latino enrollment is already down by 12%. People are taking on more student loans to pay for school, and all the money we are siphoning into the system, hoping to improve our educations, is being used by the UC Regents to improve their bond standing for construction projects (at my own campus, this includes rebuilding a stadium that's -HELLO- on a fault line). WTF.

Our university is becoming less accessible due to a crisis of priorities on the part of the people who are supposed to be helping us, and it sucks. Big time. So big, I think they deserve a douchebag decree.

I'm sorry, but I don't actually care about the term "douchebag" though I don't personally use it. I do, however, care about taking the parental and discourse ending tone of this piece. Because "assimilate, shut up, or leave" is totally feminist positive.

You're the best. Love the content; love the tone. Keep it up!