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Bitch Radio: Audrey Bilger on Gay Marriage (from the archive)

With the news in New York that the state Senate is one vote shy of passing same-sex marriage, we thought we'd share an audio segment from the past addressing the issue. Professor, author, and frequent Bitch contributor Audrey Bilger was invited to speak on Seattle-based radio show the Menage, featuring Julie Mains and Jennifer Austin, about her Bitch magazine article "Wife Support" (Issue #45, Winter 2009). In the following interview, Bilger covers gender roles and marriage, life as a lesbian wife, and Roseanne Barr. Also, be sure to read Audrey's recent update on the Prop 8 trial in California on the Ms. blog!

Transcript (PDF)

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Original post: Audrey Bilger talks gay marriage, gender roles, and Roseanne Barr on the Menage

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Comments

3 comments have been made. Post a comment.

This Interview With Audrey Bilger.

Audrey, Julie and Jennifer,

I really hate to break this to you, but straight men aren't "afraid" of gay sex like you and the liberal media are trying to portray. Straight men are straight, obviously because they like vagina and obviously find gay sex unappealing/disgusting/pick a synonymous adjective. That doesnt mean that they are afraid of it-that just means that it isnt what they like. I personally find gay and lesbian sex disgusting myself (alot of guys call me crazy for feeling that way about lesbian sex, but it really does nothing for me), but then again, I am straight. As far as the whole gay marriage issue is concerned, I have said countless times that I am totally 100% okay with Civil Unions in which gays/lesbians have the same legal rights as a heterosexually married couple. I think that the only way this issue will ever be resolved amicably is to compromise. Maybe gays and lesbians feel that compromising is making them "less equal," but I dont feel that way at all-I think that its a show of respect on each others part, and I would totally support gays/lesbians in Civil Unions.

Some qualms about this

Antonio, I am a lesbian and do not think straight or gay male sex is "disgusting" at all. One does not necessarily follow the other.

As far as the whole gay marriage issue is concerned, I have said countless times that I am totally 100% okay with Civil Unions in which gays/lesbians have the same legal rights as a heterosexually married couple. I think that the only way this issue will ever be resolved amicably is to compromise. Maybe gays and lesbians feel that compromising is making them "less equal," but I dont feel that way at all-I think that its a show of respect on each others part, and I would totally support gays/lesbians in Civil Unions. (emphasis mine)

I have some ideological issues with what you're saying here. First of all, it's not up to you to as a straight man to tell the QUILTBAG community/ies that we're not really "less equal" because of marriage inequality. Secondly, I'm really puzzled by the "compromise" and "respect" language; you seem to be suggesting that queer people unanimously want one thing and straight people want the opposite, and that by wanting the right to marry, we are "disrespecting" the straight majority. Civil unions and marriages are not, in fact, the same, legally or in the minds of a lot of people. Marriage inequality is, at its core, about upholding the idea that same-sex couples are irredeemably different and less-than.

Check out our Comments Policy!

Whoa whoa whoa.

Whoa whoa whoa. Saying "The way certain people have sex is not exactly the kind of sex I am into" is fine. I feel that way about certain kinds of sex. However calling it "disgusting" is super messed up. And yes, I do think there is some sort of fear tied up in there. That's why it's called homophobia.

Let's keep comments about the way people have sex out of the conversation, because that's where it belongs when talking about same-sex marriage. Also, any more disrespect on the way ANYONE has consensual sex won't be tolerated.

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Kjerstin Johnson, editor-in-chief
Did someone say "Comments Policy"?