Every Kiss Begins with FEAR!

TV post by Kelsey Wallace, November 18, 2009 - 9:39pm; tagged commercial, diamonds, fear, Kay Jewelers, Love's Embrace necklace, storm.

The holiday season is a time for reflection, love, and rampant materialism. I know this, and I expect my holiday television watching to be filled with commercials for useless items that I suddenly feel compelled to purchase for people I didn't even know I cared about. I'm never surprised to see ridiculously over-the-top ads for electronic nose hair trimmers or self-cleaning dog beds – Those things are what America is all about.

HOWEVER, there is a Kay Jewelers diamond commercial airing currently that is just a bit more than this consumer can handle. Diamond commercials themselves are the worst of the holiday bunch (buy an expensive, unethical rock or you will never truly love/be loved!) but this one takes the cake by using bizarre fear tactics. Check it out:

Ahh, love's embrace. And you only had to get there by being terrified by a storm and the notion of a life of diamond-less solitude. In addition to the typical reasons why diamond commercials are terrible (hetero? check. white? check. wealthy? check. irritating? check.) this one contains dangerously high levels of fear mongering. OH NO IF YOU'RE EVER AFRAID YOU SHOULD JUST LOOK AT YOUR DIAMOND NECKLACE AND FEEL SAFE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MAN IN YOUR LIFE. YOU KNOW HE'S THERE TO STAY BECAUSE HE FORKED OUT $1,799.99 ON THAT THING.

Of course people should feel secure in relationships, but this ad clearly (through my feminist lens, anyway) represents the threat of loneliness for single women. Instead of highlighting the good parts of the couple's relationship, it highlights the dangers of not being together (and not buying a necklace from Kay). It's a mean and scary world out there, ladies! Let's hope that you can latch on to a man and "never let go" because if you do you might be struck by lightning.

Also, how creepy is the dude? When he sidles up behind her it reminds me of the Robert De Niro character in Cape Fear.

The holiday season has only just begun and jewelry companies are already trying to frighten us into buying diamonds for our significant others (if we date women, anyway). Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Comments

20 comments have been made. Post a comment.

Thank you! This commercial

Posted by chelsea (not verified) on November 18, 2009 - 10:34pm

Thank you! This commercial is ridiculous. I actually felt like I was watching a bad horror movie. I kept expecting him to pull out a knife.

I completely agree! The

Posted by Sargentmm (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 1:42am

I completely agree! The first time I saw this commercial I thought it was going to be a scary movie preview, and I still think that once the cameras stopped rolling that man turned into some incredibly dangerous monster/zombie/psycho/etc.

Wow

Posted by Amy (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 2:16am

How did this train wreck happen? It's offensive enough to begin with, but the fact that its just so poorly done is just the icing on the cake. I'm going to die laughing every time I see a Kay Jewelers add now just thinking of the line "Every kiss begins with FEAR".

Every kiss begins with BLECH

Posted by Whitney on November 19, 2009 - 4:03am

...which is why I asked my fiance for a blue topaz and to not spend over $1000 on my engagement ring. And to no to to an engagement ring store. And to never buy me expensive jewelry until we're older.

And, the necklace is ugly. and over-priced. I just hate these commercials, because it give such a negative message to young women, to expect expensive jewelry. My mom didn't start getting expensive jewelry from my dad until she was 50. But I totally agree with your analysis on the commercial, they were really going for the sensationalism factor: if you really love her and want her to feel secure, buy her expensive things. I'm sorry, but I don't need a material possession to feel secure in my relationship. Ugh.

I love how the woman cowers

Posted by Jen (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 4:56am

I love how the woman cowers in fear and runs to her man for comfort when there's some thunder. I told my husband before we got married that I didn't even need an engagement ring because a) they're too expensive, b)I prefer my fashion accessories to NOT be drenched in the blood of human beings, and c)they're stupid. We didn't even buy the ring set that I got. They were my grandmother's. Oh, and if my husband EVER has $1,800 to just spend on bullshit and he spends it on a fucking necklace, I will strangle him. Handing the money to a drunk hobo on the street would be a better use of it.

Regardless of your views on

Posted by Brooke (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 9:53am

Regardless of your views on engagement rings/"expensive" jewelry/diamonds, whatever, the commercial is blatantly sexist. So much so, that it can't even begin to appeal to my die-hard romantic side. I mean, it's lightning. Lightning! My cat is less skittish! But of course, the diminutive woman must rely on a big, burly (and yes, creepy) man to protect her. And by lavishing her with jewelry, he can mark his territory to insure that his and only his "strength" will continue to "protect" her.

The whole feel of it is completely derogatory and offensive, not to mention passe. It's like the ad execs were too busy watching Mad Men to come up with a commercial of their own, so they just recycled one from the 1960's. In fact, I'm not sure if I'm more offended by the content, or their complete lack of effort in finding new ways to offend me.

Shut up lady. It was just a

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on February 3, 2010 - 2:32pm

Shut up lady. It was just a real corny commercial. Only a stupid feminist like you could some how misinterpret this as sexist. You're a shit head.

What? She's totally right,

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on February 18, 2010 - 6:24pm

What? She's totally right, this is an insanely offensive and sexist commercial. Are you insane?

I don't know which I fear the most

Posted by tim (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 2:53pm

first kisses, Kay Jewelers or thunderstorms. I suppose I wouldn't have to be afeared of any of those things if I had two strong arms and a necklace to protect me.

I nearly fell off my chair

Posted by Toral (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 4:22pm

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this advert - you're right, the horror premise to sell diamond rings is an unusual one. It's possibly one of the most ridiculous adverts I've ever seen.

How immoral is this jeweller's slogan as well? 'Every kiss begins with Kay'- surely that's advocating some kind of inherent prostitution?!

That Guy Is Wicked Creepy

Posted by emcgrath on November 19, 2009 - 7:19pm

I thought I was just getting the horror movie vibe because I'm a big fan of the genre, apparently it wasn't just me though. The first thought I had when I saw this was that the guy had all the previous girls he gave that necklace to locked down in the basement of the cabin or something. I would never go out to a cabin in the woods with that creeper!

Family Guy said it

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on November 19, 2009 - 8:37pm

Family Guy said it best.

Diamonds...she'll pretty much have to.

Who even gives jewelry (or

Posted by notmargaret on November 20, 2009 - 5:30am

Who even gives jewelry (or gifts) in such bizarre scenarios - during a thunderstorm? Really? because this is how it goes down for me:

[it is my birthday or Christmas]
[husband and I are exchanging gifts in the comfort of our cheaply furnished apartment]
[I open box ... it is a modest but lovely piece of jewelry]
Me: ooh I love it! thank you!
Him: you're welcome

End scene.

Really ... can't we just be honest? "Honey, here is a gift because A) it is your birthday or a significant holiday that we celebrate with the exchanging of gifts and B) I know you like jewelry and sparkly things."

Isn't that enough? Without some fake stupid story line? My husband gets me jewelry because I like it, and he likes to mark special occasions (when we can afford it). That's it. Not quite so Earth-shattering or requiring a borderline nature disaster.

PS Sarah Haskins says it well ... and funnily: http://current.com/items/89614245_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-jewelry....

Love her

Posted by Tati (not verified) on November 20, 2009 - 6:02am

Is there anything Sarah Haskins can't do? I am endlessly entertained by her.

You've Gotta Be Kidding..

Posted by bookworm88 on November 20, 2009 - 7:39am

Throughout the whole thing, all I was thinking was: "Wow. Really? Wooow." I dunno 'bout the rest of you girlies, but lightning is my favorite part of a thunderstorm! It just looks so cool!! And to be honest, I wouldn't be happier being in a log cabin in the middle of the woods during a t-storm, alone or with my guy. Yup, definitely sexist and thoughtless. I hope to never see this commercial on my TV any time soon... ever.

So disturbing and scary

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on December 4, 2009 - 5:31am

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person to think that guy was creepy. I thought maybe it was just me. But I just saw the commercial again and thought to myself, there's no way in hell that I'm the only person that finds this guy disturbingly creepy." So I decided to google "creepy guy kay's jewelry commercial, and lo and behold, there's a whole crapload of folks that think the same thing.

The first time I saw the commercial and heard him say "I'm right here......and I always will be," all I kept thinking was "it puts the lotion in the basket." And I also thought that the girlfriend needs to haul ass now. That has to be one of the most disturbing commercials ever. It certainly doesn't make me want to take a weekender with the beau at some hidden cabin in the middle of nowhere.

I don't understand what Kay's was thinking. There is nothing remotely romantic about this commercial, unless you think getting chopped up and turned into a lamp shade is romantic. Ick.