Douchebag Decree: Stephen "Republicans and Democrats Sitting Together is Like Date Rape" Moore

"ye olde douchebag decree" in blue letters with a light blue hand-drawn douchebag in the background, and "BITCH HEREBY DECLARES THE FOLLOWING PERSON A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG" in small letters in red underneath.

In the frenzy of cable news chatter that followed Tuesday's State of the Union address, one pundit stood out in the crowd, a beacon on a douchebag hill. The Wall Street Journal's Stephen Moore out-douched the considerable competition by employing the age-old tactic of saying stuff is like rape when it is not even kind of like rape.

In a conversation with Fox Business Network's Andrew Napolitano that was basically two dudes who work as political pundits whining that they had to cover the State of the Union, Napolitano asked Moore why Republicans and Democrats were "dating" (air quotes his) each other by sitting together during the speech. Moore, not content to leave stupid enough alone, took the douchebaggery (and the weird dating analogy—how does sitting together equal dating, again?) up a notch by saying that no, the two political parties being in the same room at the same time is actually more like date rape.

Napolitano: Why are Republicans and Democrats "dating" each other by agreeing to sit side by side rather than one on each side? Why are all of us, including my bosses at Fox Business and Fox News covering this thing gavel to gavel? Isn't it just another campaign speech in a controlled environment?

Moore: Well it's not just another campaign speech, it's maybe Barack Obama's most important speech that he's going to give all year because he has a captive American audience. But this idea of all the members, the Republicans and Democrats, sitting next to each other, I mean that's like date rape (laughs out loud). I don't understand the logic behind that.

What was that, Stephen Moore? Sitting together is like date rape!? NOTHING IS "LIKE" DATE RAPE EXCEPT FOR DATE RAPE. How many times do we have to say it? And it only makes this guy more of a douche that he cracks up at his own terrible, offensive, unfunny joke.

Moore, a white man with glasses, looks at the camera
People with opposing political views watching a speech together is sooo like date rape LOLOLOL

All kidding aside, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that "jokes" (the quotes are mine this time) like these contribute to rape culture and trivialize the experiences of victims of actual date rape. Having to sit next to someone you don't like is something we all learn to live with starting in kindergarten—it is NOT even KIND OF the same as being raped, and to make that comparison is to make light of something that should not be mocked, by Stephen Moore or anyone else.

As of now, Stephen Moore has not apologized for his statement, and I can't find any evidence that he plans to do so. I also can't find an email address for him anywhere and he does not appear to be on Twitter (if you have contact info for him please share it!), so I'll have to communicate with him via this Douchebag Decree: Stephen Moore, your rape jokes are unacceptable. Please apologize and never compare having to sit next to someone in a room for an hour with the experience of being raped again. And please spread this message around to the rest of the douchebags so that we can stop having this conversation. Thanks.

Previously: Tucson Public School Officials Ban Ethnic Studies Program and Shelve Books, '60s Movie Star Kim Novak Dislikes a Movie, is a Complete Douche About It

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Comments

6 comments have been made. Post a comment.

Why not contact the editors

Why not contact the editors at WSJ - surely they would be able to forward messages to him!

http://online.wsj.com/public/page/contact_eds.html

Teach them a verbal lesson

I know legally it's not, but I've always considered rape to be a hate crime. People joke about rape, but if the term "hate crime" is used in the sentence, it points out the commenter's b.s.

Ex) "democrats and republicans sitting together is like date rape"

V.s.

"democrats and republicans sitting together is like a hate crime"

Natural reaction from the change= wtf are you talking about!

I know this isn't exactly

I know this isn't exactly related to this post but I wanted to mention what Hal Sparks said about the term date rape: "There's no such thing as date rape. It's the rape drug. She's unconscious. Once the raping starts, date's over." http://youtu.be/q10vn5JXyvY

Look into his eyes

If you look deeply into his eyes you can see the vacant space where his IQ should be.

Maybe someone should send in him a dictionary for his birthday?

He clearly has all kinds of comprehension problems as he also doesn't understand the meaning of "captive audience" either. The American people were in no way a captive audience. No one was required to turn on their television or radio. And even if they did happen to turn one on, there were many options beyond those channels that broadcast the State of the Union.

And I guess I must be too charitable because when I read "I don't understand the logic behind that." I at first thought he realized how stupid his comment was and was saying he didn't undertand the logic behind saying it was like date rape (i.e. another way of saying, "my god, I just made a really dumb remark"), but I guess he was still referring to the logic of sitting together - which is just another example of his comprehension problems.

Upon reflection, I'm thinking the dictionary really isn't going to help.

I saw this, I believe, in Jon

I saw this, I believe, in Jon Stewart's "Moment of Zen" on The Daily Show and my jaw dropped open. Not only is his terrible comment just another brick in the wall of rape culture, but it's another sign that our political discourse is getting out of control. Republicans and Democrats really shouldn't hate each other so much that sitting next to each other is distasteful.

His little infantile giggle after he made this terrible joke just turns my stomach. What a horrible man.