Douchebag Decree: Rick's Topless Basketball Association (and Spud Webb)
Sports fans everywhere breathed a sigh of relief last week when news broke that the NBA lockout will end on December 25. Yay basketball (go Blazers)! If the lockout were to have to continued, though, some douche-y spectators would've been satisfied anyway, thanks to Rick's (Topless) Basketball League. Started in response to the lockout (because recruiting a team of topless women in platforms and short shorts is a logical response to an NBA lockout), Rick's Cabaret International Inc. is ready to play ball. Especially since their head coach position was filled this week—by former NBA star (and current douchenozzle) Spud Webb.
A League of Their Own
First of all, Spud Webb!? As a short person who has always championed other short people on the court, finding out that Webb is coaching a topless team in some kind of sordid publicity stunt is Muggsy Bogus (get it?) news to me. Not that his height automatically makes him too classy to coach for Rick's Caberet, but STILL.
Second, and more importantly, this whole endeavor is a complete and total douche-o-rama. It's one thing for women to dress sexy and play basketball (ladies, go for it!), but the RBA strikes me as a chance for men ("Rick" and Spud Webb, among others) to exploit women's bodies for money and publicity. Topless basketball? As the busty among us know, running up and down the court without a sports bra is no walk in the park. And as this promotional video suggests, the purpose of the RBA is not to showcase these women's ball-handling skills (or, um, maybe it is, but not in the basketball sense):
Though the NBA Lockout is coming to an end, a spokesperson for Rick's Cabaret assures fans that the topless league will play on. From nesn.com:
"Of course we are happy the NBA is coming back in December—they are some of our best customers," Gianna, a young woman with no given last name, said in a league statement. "We'll play 'til the NBA season starts because our fans and customers want it."
Says Coach Spud Webb on the league, "These ladies are fabulous and have obvious talents and skills. I can't think of a better way to entertain long-suffering NBA fans." Really Spud Webb? Because I can think of a way to entertain "long-suffering" NBA fans who want to watch women on the court. It's called the WNBA (and the women who play there are allowed to wear sports bras).
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