Douchebag Decree: FalseFlesh
Have you ever thought about Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, naked? Well, he might be thinking about you naked, and FalseFlesh wants to help him with his dreams. If his dreams are to look at your naked body without your permission. There's an app for that!
FalseFlesh is "Adult Image Editing Software," according to its website, which can be used to imagine (and render said imaginations) anyone you know whose picture you have, naked. If you, like me, have 700+ pictures tagged of yourself on the internet, than you, also like me, will have trouble sleeping tonight. The software works by superimposing the subject's face onto a nude body that has been "customized" in order to "realistically" give voyeurs an idea of what the subject looks like naked. Here is the graphic on their website: (NSFW!!)
...Yeah. So. Besides clearly hiring the same ad team as American Apparel, FalseFlesh has some other attributes worth mentioning. First, it mentions Facebook and Myspace by name, to make sure everyone using the software remembers that there are thousands of pictures of pretty people just an unconsenting click away. (Zuckerberg has not, as of this writing, released any kind of statement about FalseFlesh.) Second, FF gives you even more specific advice to get the most out of your
CREEPY PREDATORY experience with its software, suggesting "a beautiful celebrity, or a stunning coed girl in her swimsuit" might be nice targets for your digitally-enhanced gaze. More from the website, just in case you weren't sure the $34.95 price tag was worth it:
In most cases only a few millimeters of fabric separates you from an amazing but previously unobtainable image. FalseFlesh can elegantly eliminate clothing from any photograph and provide you with natural looking nude flesh.
FYI, world, women are just MILLIMETERS away from being naked at all times! BASICALLY IT'S LIKE THEY WANT YOU TO LOOK! Ah, and I thought I would make it through this Decree without resorting to caps-lock sarcasm. Alas. Encouraging rape culture and calling it "elegant" brings it outta me, I guess.
Log complaints at purchase [at] falseflesh [dot] com, or write to Zuckerberg on the Facebook to tell him it needs to be impossible for programs like FF to get to your pictures. In the meantime, you might consider making sure you pictures are set to "friends-only."
The Hairpin has a gem of a user testimonial, the rest of which I could not bring myself to read, and Salon has the article that brought FF to my attention. Thanks for the spike in blood pressure and a day of untagging pictures of myself, friends...
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