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Douchebag Decree: American Thinker

douchedecree

Wait! Yes, you! Were you about to go buy some stamps? Be careful! According to the American Thinker, American stamps are "childish, silly, and racist"! Now, does that sound like something you'd want to support? Would you want to put "blacks no one has heard of" all over your nice envelope? The Thinker, an ironic title if ever there was one, certainly would NOT. We here at Bitch are henceforth renaming the conservative think tank the  American Douchebag.

So, what exactly did Rush Limbaugh's favorite conspiracy theorists have to say about our stamps? Let's just leave it to Alan Fraser, the writer of this gem o' douche, via Media Matters:

Polar bears, lots of women and blacks no one has ever heard of. There's Julia de Burgos (who?), Mother Teresa (an Albanian saint), Oscar Micheaux (a black guy I never heard of), Kate Smith, Katharine Hepburn, Love, Pansies in a Basket, the Year of the Rabbit, Forever, a Navajo necklace, Anna Julia Cooper (a black woman I never heard of), Adopt a Shelter Pet, Butterfly, Tiffany lamps, Chinese bracelets, Kwanzaa, Mary Lasker (who?), Richard Wright (another black guy), playing cards, balloons, daisies, cherries, all the NFL Teams, Hollywood personalities, the Simpsons, and don't forget...you guessed it...the all-important-never-thing-that-one-cannot-know-too-much-about...wait for it... Negro Baseball Leagues.

Okay. Do some deep breathing exercises, and when you get back we'll talk about this.

Ready? Me neither. But here goes. Let's start with the "blacks no one has heard of" business. Lumped right in there with the women folk and the polar bears. UGH, ENOUGH with drowning polar bears, amiright? (It actually hurts my brain to try and see from this douchebag's point of view, so that can't happen anymore.) Fraser does not know ANY of the African Americans currently on stamps, despite, for example, Anna Cooper being perhaps the most prominent black scholar in American history, and Richard Wright being a critical voice in American literature who also, I don't know, won the Guggenheim Prize in fiction. But it strikes me that Alan Fraser probably has not checked out Native Son from the library quite yet.

I wish I could tell you that Fraser is a fringe conspiracy theorist writing for a radically racist, ignorant organization (well, okay. He is, they are), but the Thinker actually has a great deal of influence in conservative media circles. Limbaugh quotes them regularly and considers them "one of [his] favorite and most thoughtful blogs." A quick side note: Does anyone ELSE believe that Limbaugh would burst into flames if we as a country just IGNORED him for awhile? Seriously. I'm not linking you to his page in part because I can't stand that his name still comes up as someone people listen to. But they do, and he listens to the Thinker. The happy ending to this week's decree is that it's easy to take action against the Thinker. Contact them on their website and let them know racist, misogynistic language will not be tolerated. Or better yet, write them some letters. And put that cannot-know-too-much-about Negro Baseball League stamp on the envelope. Alan Fraser and the American Thinker, you are in a douche-y league of your own.

 

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Comments

8 comments have been made. Post a comment.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait. So, If I'm reading this correctly, putting polar bears and Tiffany lamps and balloons on stamps is racist? What is "Forever"? This makes no sense. I'd probably be offended if I could understand at all what the hell this guy is saying. Is he saying he wants to see more white guys he can identify on stamps? That all women and black people look the same to him? Don't white guys fall under the categories of "Hollywood personalities" and "the NFL"?

*brain explode*

Say What?

I almost feel like I don't need to comment, because Fraser's comments are SO racist, SO sexist and SO stupid that it seems ridiculous that anyone is listening... yet, sadly, they are. I agree with Katie Presley that Fraser is clearly just uneducated in the history of our country and culture if Richard Wright is totally unfamiliar to him. Also, Katharine Hepburn is on the list. Is she a woman no one's ever heard of? Really? Or is he just saying that he's never heard of the blacks, and that women are undeserving simply because they're women? Either way... WTF?

tooth blood after coffee

I wanted to share a Facebook commenter's comment on this post:

This made my mouth taste bad. And I just got teeth pulled, so it already tasted like I'd been sucking on pennies. And I just drank coffee. This tasted worse than tooth blood after coffee.

AGREED.

____________
Kjerstin Johnson, editor-in-chief
Did someone say "Comments Policy"?

Thank you for posting that,

Thank you for posting that, Kjerstin. It has BY FAR been my favorite comment too. Douchey mouthy blood coffee. ick ick ick.

Hatred is a Many-Splendoured Thing

Based on his rant list, as well as being racist, misogynist, and ignorant in a multi-faceted way, this guy hates EVERYTHING. It's one thing to hate butterflies and Tiffany lamps, but to come out as a Love-hater? Special!

lol

Don't forget about Forever. Alan Fraser apparently hates Forever as well. I didn't even know that could be done.

Okay - even if you haven't

Okay - even if you haven't heard of said "black guy," that's kind of the point of them being on the stamp, right? You see them on the stamp and they must be somewhat notable, so you use the Google to look them up and learn something you didn't know - oh wait ...

I forgot, people like this have no interest in learning anything worth knowing.

Then Alan can be super mad

Then Alan can be super mad when Google gets put on a stamp. "What is this search engine I've never heard of????" I'm sorry, this whole thing is just so douchey it's come full circle back to funny. I'm not in any way condoning choosing ignorance and kyriarchal (sp?) privilege over knowledge and understanding, but this is like something from the Colbert Report. I mean, you can't make this stuff up...