Douchebag Decree: Adam Carolla & His Broken Record Routine
Women aren't funny? Golly gee, mister! I sure haven't heard that one from anyone else! We don't have a funny bone in our bodies? Oh, mister! Are you sure? Wait a second, who are you again? You say you have a doctor friend?
Let's make this Decree short and sweet. Adam Carolla, a washed-up douche with some seriously skewed views of gender and sexuality, decided to squawk about unfunny women in a New York Post interview this weekend. Yes, that tired argument. Again. Seriously though, who cares what Adam Carolla thinks? He didn't even make me chuckle during his brief time as a Celebrity Apprentice, and that's rookie stuff.
In the interview, Carolla makes it clear from the start that he thinks something's off with our culture's machismo. To him, Tom Cruise must be Martian because he eats cupcakes and brings his mom to watch football with the guys. How could he possibly be a man from Earth if he doesn't like chillin' with the bros, consuming loads of meat, and watching the game in a basement that's rank from all the taco farts?
Bro, those aren't burgers! They're cupcakes! WTF.
Since women in comedy is like the least macho thing ever next to cupcakes, Corolla decides write funny women off except for Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, and Kathy Griffin—three women that I'm sure he'd love to see bounce on a trampoline. He goes on to cry about being forced to hire women writers and how unfunny they are.
Look, Adam. We fucking get it. You want women to look pretty, shut up, and make sandwiches for the game. Hasn't this always been your schtick? Can you just give up already?
Women have been conquering comedy as of late. Women have conquered comedy in the past. The He-Man Woman Haters Club of comedy is turning to rubble to rubble. Check out Rob Delaney's post about funny women working alongside men and how it's essential to create good comedy.
It's about time the war against funny women ends. It's futile.
I decree that Adam Carolla is a huge douchebag—one of the worst. I decree that Jerry Lewis and Christopher Hitchens also deserve the title, again for their inane commentary in the past. More importantly, I decree to ignore any more of these infantile comments that equate one's gender with one's ability to bring the laughs. I won't let a former Man Show host and full-time douche make me fume. Instead, I'll brush the dirt off and keep being funny. I hope you'll join me.
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