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Douchebag Decree: Adam Carolla & His Broken Record Routine

Douchebag Decree logo in red and blue letters it says Ye Olde Douchebag Decree. Bitch hereby declares the following person a total douchebag

Women aren't funny? Golly gee, mister! I sure haven't heard that one from anyone else! We don't have a funny bone in our bodies? Oh, mister! Are you sure? Wait a second, who are you again? You say you have a doctor friend?

photo of adam carolla with text that reads STFU

Let's make this Decree short and sweet. Adam Carolla, a washed-up douche with some seriously skewed views of gender and sexuality, decided to squawk about unfunny women in a New York Post interview this weekend. Yes, that tired argument. Again. Seriously though, who cares what Adam Carolla thinks? He didn't even make me chuckle during his brief time as a Celebrity Apprentice, and that's rookie stuff.

In the interview, Carolla makes it clear from the start that he thinks something's off with our culture's machismo. To him, Tom Cruise must be Martian because he eats cupcakes and brings his mom to watch football with the guys. How could he possibly be a man from Earth if he doesn't like chillin' with the bros, consuming loads of meat, and watching the game in a basement that's rank from all the taco farts?

cupcake sliders decorated like burgers
Bro, those aren't burgers! They're cupcakes! WTF.

Since women in comedy is like the least macho thing ever next to cupcakes, Corolla decides write funny women off except for Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, and Kathy Griffin—three women that I'm sure he'd love to see bounce on a trampoline. He goes on to cry about being forced to hire women writers and how unfunny they are.

Look, Adam. We fucking get it. You want women to look pretty, shut up, and make sandwiches for the game. Hasn't this always been your schtick? Can you just give up already?

Per usual, the funny women of Twitter fought the good fight and came out on top. Julie Klausner sums it up solidly:

Tweet from Julie Klausner that says Adam Carolla's death rattle sounds like the rusty bells of a crumbling empire. Don't listen to him, he's already a ghost.

Women have been conquering comedy as of late. Women have conquered comedy in the past. The He-Man Woman Haters Club of comedy is turning to rubble to rubble. Check out Rob Delaney's post about funny women working alongside men and how it's essential to create good comedy.

It's about time the war against funny women ends. It's futile.

I decree that Adam Carolla is a huge douchebag—one of the worst. I decree that Jerry Lewis and Christopher Hitchens also deserve the title, again for their inane commentary in the past. More importantly, I decree to ignore any more of these infantile comments that equate one's gender with one's ability to bring the laughs. I won't let a former Man Show host and full-time douche make me fume. Instead, I'll brush the dirt off and keep being funny. I hope you'll join me.

Previously: The U.S. Senate Federal Credit Union LOLz at Boobs, Mario Batali Thinks "Skinny Actresses" Should Shut Up About His Food

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Comments

31 comments have been made. Post a comment.

Corolla is correct

Klausner proves Corolla's point - her comment was just bitch, not funny. Women comedians typically are not very funny. Even the ones he mentions (Silverman, Griffin, and Fey) are not funny. You can be angry about it all you want, but it doesn't make it any less true.

"Women have been conquering comedy as of late." How do you figure? Name one woman that has had a lead role in a successful comedy recently.

Off the top of my head:

Kristin Wiig - Bridesmaids. Third highest grossing comedy of 2011. 169 Million

Funny Women

Kristen Wiig, Lena Dunham, Melissa McCarthy, Amy Poehler...I could keep going, but I'm sure these won't convince you.

And perhaps that's the point? The climate for funny isn't exactly welcoming and/or safe for women or folks who identify as such.

The funny thing about funny, is that it's all subjective. Adam Carolla (who's career, I'm guessing was needing a boost, hence the comments) is not funny at all to me. In fact I sat through more than one of his show on The Celebrity Apprentice cringing at his clumbsy attempts at humour. But again, this funny thing is subjective.

I look forward to the day that we encourage girls and women to not be ashamed or afraid of their wicked sense of humour. Until then, we have some work to do (including calling out the Carollas around us).

Ha. You prove bitch right

Ha. You prove bitch right about broken records by posting twice! YaaY!

Leading women in comedy

Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation), Zooey Deschanel (New Girl), Tina Fey (30 Rock), Julie Bowen + Sophia Vergara (Modern Family), Christina Applegate (Up All Night), Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep), Lena Dunham (Girls)...Shall I continue?

Obvious troll is obvious

Obvious troll is obvious

I guess you haven't read the

I guess you haven't read the results of this study: http://ucsdnews.ucsd.edu/newsrel/soc/20111019HumorTest.asp
Which found that men were only SLIGHTLY funnier than women. As opposed to not funny at all as you assume.

Really, Ben? Lena Dunham

Really, Ben?
Lena Dunham hasn't taken the world by storm by being both hilarious and endearing in Girls?
Kristin Wiig wasn't funny in Bridesmaids?
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey haven't both had their tv series renewed (both of which feature them as leading funny ladies)?
I don't particularly love it, but Zooey Deschannel has also got a cult following for her show New Girl.

How do you figure there are no successful women in comedy?

Reverse-sexism / Comedic affirmative action?

None of the women aforementioned are funny at all. I think you are all just determined to think they're funny because of your reverse-sexism.

Really?

In that case any man finding other men funny is also reverse sexism.

I thought it took one to know one.

What I find particularly funny about this is that Corolla seems to have conflated his career with that of a comedian. Is this a common misconception?

It's pretty clear that the only men who feel the need to tediously talk about women not being funny have some serious insecurities about their own ability to get a laugh, (unless you count the uncomfortable laughter of people who are embarrassed for them).

Let’s just get some perspective here: a cross-sectional sampling of Corolla’s, uh, *oeuvre* (?) strongly suggests that he defines "art" as women in "sexy ___" costumes bouncing on trampolines, and his idea of humor is no more advanced. He should stay at the kiddie table and leave the nuance and complexity to people who can handle it. Someone needs to earbox this guy with a rubber chicken. (Now THAT’S what I call comedy.)

Wishing It Doesn't Make It True

"Women aren't funny" is the insecure man's version of "Get off my lawn!". To be fair, if I was Adam Carolla I'd be terrified of funny women pushing me out of my career and wish they weren't funny too.

Let's see--Margaret Cho.

Let's see--Margaret Cho. Ellen DeGenerous. Lisa Lampanelli. In print, Laurie Notaro. Also, my favorites--Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley.

Adam is correct

So Adam is a douchebag for stating the obvious?
Obviously he shouldn't generalize, but overall women in comedy are years behind.
Yes, there's Tina Fey, and other SNL girls, but overall guys are WAY more successful in this area.
We have to be funnier, because we have to impress girls with our sense of humor; girls don't.

In fact, how come is it that even serious actors like Christopher Walken, Alec Baldwin, etc. can switch to comedy and be more successful than even some of the best Comedic actresses??

I'm not trying to bash women, but percentage wise... Men are funnier.

The fact that you and a lot

The fact that you and a lot of other men find men funnier doesn't make it objectively true. If that were the case, Justin Bieber would be, objectively, the best singer ever because he has the most fans (and we all know that is definitely NOT true!)

Like music, humor is subjective, therefore it is impossible to state who's funnier than whom, in terms of gender (or even in individual terms!)

oh dear, it's so awesome to

oh dear, it's so awesome to read over and over again that women obviously dont have anything to do to attract man but having a vagina...

besides, only because many popular male comedians get cheap laughs by making sexist and racist jokes doesnt make them funny, it makes them asshats. of course asshats applaud other asshats so i see how people like that get successful in the first place.

men dont have the monopoly on humor, nobody has. but it says a lot that many men think they had it.

Huh?

I'm not sure you know what you're talking about when you say women in comedy are years behind. Phyllis Diller started doing stand-up in the 50s; Lily Tomlin and Joan Rivers have been working since the 60s. Before then, women like Lucille Ball and Elaine May stood their ground in comedy. That's just to name a few! Women have been working in comedy just as long as men.

I think you meant to say that women are years behind in being recognized for their comedic genius, Rikky6ixx. Also, women aren't encouraged to be funny. Women are encouraged to be quiet and complacent not loud and bawdy. So, it makes sense that less women have chosen comedy as their art and achieved the same success as their male counterparts. Ya pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? It's far from obvious. It's fucking complicated.

By the way, are you a Motley Crue fan?

Thank you

I was just thinking this. Men are encouraged to be outgoing, outspoken and sometimes bawdy and are rewarded for being so. In comedy, as in many other things, women are criticized more and expected to fail. It's a cycle: if you're determined to find women unfunny, then you're going to continue thinking that because you've made up your mind. Success doesn't always equal talent; many times it equals accessibility and marketability. In our culture, we're more comfortable watching a man make jokes about sex, etc. than we are a woman, and so the male comic becomes more successful based on the fact that, due to socially-ingrained roles about what's acceptable and unacceptable for men and women to say and do, he is more comfortable territory for more people. Because let's be honest. Humor is power. When someone is funny, people listen to them and respond positively to them. Humor can be used to subvert and to question the norms, which is a powerful thing. And giving any group that kind of power is scary to the people who have traditionally held it.

I mean, think about it, really. There is absolutely no logical reason for a sense of humor to stem from biological sex. (And what about intersex people? Are they, like, funny half the time? But seriously, there are more than two sexes and genders, and it's worth expanding our thinking beyond the binary.) For one thing, as someone correctly said, humor is subjective. What's funny to one person might be sick or offensive or stupid to another. For another thing, making blanket statements about someone's capabilities based on attributes like sexual organs or skin color or body shape or sexuality is dangerous ground. To me, saying that women aren't funny because they're women is like saying they're less intelligent because they're women. And that's like saying that someone is less intelligent or less capable because of, oh, say, the amount of melanin in their skin. You're taking a characteristic and assigning them a rigid stereotype of a personality steeped in generations of sexism and racism.

And as for the whole "Women just have to be pretty" argument, did it ever occur to anyone that just being pretty is really, really, really boring and unfulfilling, and most women want to actually accomplish something that doesn't pertain to their looks?

hey

i have one word for you, buddy, and it's "ELLEN"

how you you like them apples? are they sour?

Why is this man still around???

Adam Carolla is about as funny as herpes. He has **never** been funny at any time. He ruined the Man Show and I never did understand why he was either on it or any other show. Nothing he has ever said or done is even remotely amusing. Ergo he has no basis on which to claim anyone else is funny.

He was also a co-host of "Loveline"

and ruined that show, too.

Comediettes

The diminutive is meant snidely. Adam Corolla is just a 8th grader on the playground without any creativity or imagination. I always found it horrible that he rose to fame on a show where he derogated some true horror stories on the pretext that he had an attention-whore doctor by his side. It is certainly possible to discuss the humor of gender interactions and contrasts in a thoughtful, yet very funny manner. (CK Williams, Sandra Bernhardt, Lily Tomlin, Roseann Barr). I do think that Lisa Lampinelli is also only a one trick pony for the distaff side.
I am a great admirer of Christopher Hitchens, although I certainly did not agree with him on everything (including his abortion views). Can you let me know what writing or statement of his was bothersome? Thanks.

Christopher Hitchens

Hitchens wrote an article for Vanity Fair on "Why Women Aren't Funny": http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701, and then a video on "Why Women Still Aren't Funny" as a follow-up after the response he got to the first article: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7izJggqCoA.

I have to agree with Ben

I have to agree with Ben below.

While I do agree Adam is deserving of the Diamond Douchebag award, the article just wasn't funny, and in an Alanis Morissette, "I don't know what the fuck irony is" kind of ironic way, the author only seems to further the aforementioned Douchebags position.

There are lots of funny women. But they're funny because they're funny, not because they have vaginas.. and there are shit tons of very unfunny people of both sexes.

I do feel that sometimes women comics get a bit of a boost just because they're women. Kind of like a partisan tends to mindlessly root for a member of their party just because they're on their team.. much like a Cleveland Browns fan insists the Steelers suck.. even though that team has more Superbowl wins than any other NFL team.

Not that I give a shit about sports, either. Tina Fey, Wanda Sykes, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, Kathy Griffin, Whoopi Goldberg, Phyllis Diller, and you know what, i'm not ashamed.. I think Betty White is funny, too.

Fuck. I forgot Janeane Garofalo. Who is also crazy hot. Is that sexiest to say? I don't give a shit. It's true.

Janeane.. if you're reading this.. call me.

I...don't think the article

I...don't think the article was meant to be funny. To me, it was an angry response to overt sexism and discrimination.

"I do feel that sometimes women comics get a bit of a boost just because they're women. Kind of like a partisan tends to mindlessly root for a member of their party just because they're on their team.. much like a Cleveland Browns fan insists the Steelers suck.. even though that team has more Superbowl wins than any other NFL team."

As for this, don't you think it happens the other way, too? That female comics are viewed as "not funny" because they're women, even before they've started their act? Or that not-very-funny male comics are given praise because they're "one of the guys"? Sadly, that sort of prejudice happens all the time, in all directions.

I have to agree with Ben

I have to agree with Ben below.

While I do agree Adam is deserving of the Diamond Douchebag award, the article just wasn't funny, and in an Alanis Morissette, "I don't know what the fuck irony is" kind of ironic way, the author only seems to further the aforementioned Douchebags position.

There are lots of funny women. But they're funny because they're funny, not because they have vaginas.. and there are shit tons of very unfunny people of both sexes.

I do feel that sometimes women comics get a bit of a boost just because they're women. Kind of like a partisan tends to mindlessly root for a member of their party just because they're on their team.. much like a Cleveland Browns fan insists the Steelers suck.. even though that team has more Superbowl wins than any other NFL team.

Not that I give a shit about sports, either. Tina Fey, Wanda Sykes, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, Kathy Griffin, Whoopi Goldberg, Phyllis Diller, and you know what, i'm not ashamed.. I think Betty White is funny, too.

Fuck. I forgot Janeane Garofalo. Who is also crazy hot. Is that sexiest to say? I don't give a shit. It's true.

Janeane.. if you're reading this.. call me.

ha

Writing off all women as "not funny" is truly a douchebag thing to say, that I suspect only douchebags who feel threatened by anything beyond their limited scope of vision would agree with. It's also been said that men are smarter than women (though test scores indicate otherwise) and that men have a higher pain threshold (child birth anyone?) You're talking about an individual who has somehow made an entire career out of sitting in a recliner on television and pounding his hairy chest while being served cheap beer by women in tiny outfits. Someone heard this schtick, and somehow thought it warranted a tv show -- that it would someone bring something to the people that they desperately needed to see. "People will love this! It's like your average shitcom, except the chick doesn't shake her head and look disappointed everytime the doofy husband washes a black sock with the whites!." What we're witnessing is not an absence of funny women, but funny women not getting the breaks that funny men get. Amy Sedaris is a rare exception, and hilarious. Sarah Vowell's super funny. Barbara Ehrenreich is witty and sharp and funny. Florence King is hilarious. Dorothy Parker is smart and funny. If you can't think of any funny women, perhaps you should look a bit harder.

Adam was just misquoted and

Adam was just misquoted and everyone overreacted. Here is his response to the whole thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V8paxY8raI

Misquote

Adam said that men are funnier than women - not that women are incapable of being funny. If you actually care about what he said, go to the youtube link and hear from Adam himself about the context - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V8paxY8raI

Yes

It was an absolute mis-quote and I don't see how it could've been anything but deliberate. Whether men or women are funnier or whether they are equally as funny is subjective. So the man has an opinion. Oh, no!! Don't agree with one's opinion then you ought to slay them. This site is TRULY nothing but a bitchfest. What if I say my opinion is that women are more empathetic or more nurturing?? Are you going to jump my arse for that? Thought not . . .

Now this is what I call fair

Now this is what I call fair and even handed journalism. Smh