BitchTapes: Songs I'm Never Going to Attempt at Karaoke Ever Again!
My name is Katie, and I have a really terrible singing voice. I'll admit it. I'm not ashamed. This presents a huge problem, though, because I do love Karaoke a lot, am very, very, very easily embarrassed, and lack the stage presence that makes up for being a bad singer. It should be noted, too, that no amount of alcohol changes any of these factors (well, maybe the being embarrassed part). There is such a delicate art in picking a song for Karaoke, with plenty of trial and error (emphasis on error). I present to you, in no particular order, the songs that I am never going to attempt ever again at Karaoke. Ever. I swear. It's an important life lesson, really.
1. Fleetwood Mac- Tusk
Lacking in stage presence doesn't help at all during :45 second instrumentals.
2. Melanie- Brand New Key
Everything was going great until the song key went higher and then I ended up sounding like a muppet.
3. Johnny Cash- Folsom Prison Blues
I just can't do this song without the most pathetic country twang ever.
4. Shangri-La's- Give Him a Great Big Kiss
Well, they weren't that great of singers either, but the real problem is that power struggle over who gets to sing Betty's part.
5. Kate Bush- Wuthering Heights
The mother of all difficult songs. If I recall correctly, the KJ made us go last, and then stopped the song half way through. That. Bad.
6. Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood- Jackson
One of the only songs i feel comfortable singing, but KJs always seem to play the Johnny Cash and June Carter version, which is different enough to throw me off. And then it becomes that sad race to keep up with the the lyrics on the TV.
7. Abba- Fernando
My friend and I used to go to Karaoke together every week. She is one of those singers that everyone stops dead in their tracks and listens intently to. We sang this together, and by we I mean she sang it and I held my chest and pretended to have a coughing fit. It's those high notes!
8. Salt N Pepa- Shoop
Keeping the pace to Shoop alone in your car does not mean you can do so in front of dozens of strangers. Learned that the hard way.
There you have it. It's a matter of public record now. Never again will I ever sing any of these songs at Karaoke! Got your own Karaoke mishaps?! Leave them in the comments section!
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