BitchTapes: Doin' It

To commemorate the end of Bed, Bitch and Beyond and to honor those naughty Halloween costumes that currently are flying off the racks, I bring you a very special, very sultry, totally Kenny-G-free compilation of sexy jams. Turn down the lights and turn up the mood music.

1. I Wanna Sex You Up (Color Me Badd Cover) – Charlie ASH
FINALLY! An indie-rock cover of the notorious R&B sexxballad! I’ve been waiting for so long. Now we just need Feist to cover “Trapped in the Closet” or “Birthday Sex”.

2. Bubble Pop Electric – Gwen Stefani Feat. Johnny Vulture
I have an intense love/hate relationship with this song – the intro is hilarious, but it’ll take days to get that saccharine hook out of my head. Thanks, Gwennie-Gwen-Gwen.

3. 5-10-15 Hours – Ruth Brown
Before Ruth Brown played Motormouth Mabel in the original Hairspray movie, she made a ton of money for Atlantic Records with songs about being horny and/or melancholy.

4. I Just Want To Make Love To You – Etta James
Does Etta James have to spell it out for you? Well, she just did.

5. Seattle – The Hot Toddies
This sugary tune is happy and tinkly enough to be on Sesame Street… except for the lyrics.

6. Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me – Susan Sarandon from Rocky Horror Picture Show
“Creature of the night?!?!”

7. Pervert – Descendents
“I’d hate to think that romance is just a pose/but all I wanna do is rip off ya cloooothes!!”

8. Kiss, Kiss – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Karen O sounds like she might accidentally-on-purpose kill you during a violent ménage a trois.

9. The Sex Has Made Me Stupid – Robots In Disguise
Catchy song, unkind truth.

10. Music Is My Hot Hot Sex – CSS
It’s also her burger and her great-granddaughter. So, I’m not really sure how to feel about that.