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Bitch in a Box: A Sex-Positive Gift Guide

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This week, we're putting together just-for-fun holiday gift guides. Today's edition of Bitch in a Box is a gift guide for the friend who’s read every post of Erika Moen’s Oh Joy Sex Toy we’ve published.

So, you've got a friend or ALMTJAF (A Little More Than Just A Friend) who goes to reproductive justice rallies, has a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves on their shelf, and knows all about what kind of lube to use with silicone toys (counterintuitively, not silicone lube). While getting them a sex toy might be a little too forward, there are lots of other gifts to please the sex-positive friend in your life.

The Customizable Gift: Books!


Books are pretty great go-to gift in general and there are a lot of great books to choose from for your sex-positive buddy. So much so, that I’m just going to go ahead and make a short(ish) list.

For the friend exploring open relationships: Opening Up by Tristan Taormino.

For the memoir-lover: Big Sex, Little Death by Susie Bright.

For the kinky friend: The S&M Feminist by Clarisse Thorn.

For the theorist: The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure, eds. Tristan Taormino, Constance Penley, Celine Parrenas Shimizu & Mireille Miller-Young.

For the comic geek: Smut Peddler, an erotic comics anthology with contributors like Jess Fink, Erika Moen, and Carla Speed McNeil.

For the sex worker advocate: A subscription to Prose and Lore: Memoir Stories About Sex Work from the Red Umbrella Project.

For the friend who wouldn’t be weirded out getting erotica from you: Anything from Cleis Press. They even have a handy holiday gift quiz to help you figure out the perfect book! (Special shout-out to Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica.)

The Philanthropic Gift: Donate to a good cause! 

Make a donation to Planned Parenthood in their name. Planned Parenthood provides essential resources to people all over the country, and until December 31st, all tax-deductible donations will be matched. So it’s like you’re giving double (once for you, once for your friend)!

The Practical Gift: Batteries

Because nothing is worse than a vibrator running out of power halfway through the job and being forced to steal the batteries from the TV remote. Also, an easy gift you can pick up and wrap at the drug store before heading over to that holiday party you totally forgot about.

The Innovative Gift: A toy storage trunk

Soft-touch sex toys collect lint like none other, and it’s always nice to have a place to organize one’s supplies so you can find them quickly. For $29, you can donate to the MUA: Pleasure Products Organizer Kickstarter and get a sleek and handy toy organizer, provided they meet their funding goal. You can also get crafty and make an appropriately sized box/trunk/closet organizer yourself for a custom gift.

The Obvious But Still Great Gift: A Feminist Sex Store Gift Certificate

A gift certificate to your local, friendly sex toy store (my favorite where I live is She Bop, above). 

If you really want to get a sex toy for someone, I recommend getting them a gift certificate and letting them choose for themselves. It’s such a personal item, and good sex toys are often a pretty big monetary investment. You don’t want it to sit unused in that awesome storage trunk you made! Besides, you can always go along and make it a fun date.

Read the rest of our feminist gift guides


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Comments

6 comments have been made. Post a comment.

Thanks for this!

Thanks for this!

bonk is NOT a good or sex

bonk is NOT a good or sex positive gift. Mary Roach gleefully recounts her sexual assault of a patient in china who is under anesthesia and cannot consent. she basically winks and writes 'he'll never know' as she squeezes his penis. it's so upsetting to me that this book ends up on everyone's sex book lists.

I mean, that should be enough to put the book down (I never finished it), but it also sex negative all over the place with quips like "no one wants to see my husband naked" and her peso al discomfort is really off putting.

Thanks for this comment!

Thanks for this comment! I added Bonk to the post based on recommendations, but I'll go ahead and take it off the list.

thanks!

thanks!

Agreed, and ...

I cannot understand at all why any of Mary Roach's books are recommended reading among many progressives, social justice activists, the NPR Radiolab program ... and even NPR host Terry Gross. Roach aims to make "gross-out science" ... as I refer to it as ... entertaining, interesting, and thought-provoking. Not to me.

I indeed understand why "gross-out" reading and entertainment is a satisfying turn-on for many, but they are not a satisfying turn-on for myself. Gross-outs, to me, are just that. Gross-outs. >;-P

I am just stating personal preference that I think some may agree with me on. Thanks also for dis-recommending the aforementioned book.

in terms of awesome,

in terms of awesome, sex-positive, feminist books, I can't think of a better one than YES MEANS YES! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World WIthout Rape.

maybe it's just because I'm eagerly hoping someone will get me this book for Christmas, but seriously. YES MEANS YES is awesome and more people need to read it!