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BiblioBitch: 50 Shades of "Meh." Here's Some Erotica to Read Instead!

There's been plenty of discussion recently about the phenomenon that is 50 Shades of Grey. However, since none of us here at Bitch had any desire to read it, we haven't really commented on it yet. Since we've received a few requests from readers for some recommendations on feminist-friendly erotic fiction, though, we thought we'd finally look into 50 Shades, see where it may have fallen short, and recommend some books that do "erotic, amusing, and deeply moving" right.

Bitch Media Development Intern Tallina Long jumped on a grenade for us and volunteered to read 50 Shades of Grey. Her short review? "It was horrible! Boring, and in a word 'grey'."

But there were some pros along with the cons:

Pro: "Consent and the importance of seeking consent from your partner. Christian Grey, the main male charcter, is totally GGG in making sure that he gets a yes from Ana. He hands her a dominant/submissive contract and makes sure that she understands what she is signing. Con: She never signs it."

And there were more cons: "Anastasia Steele, the main female character, is the most annoying caricature of a woman since Bella Swan. Perhaps that's the point. They're both passive. They're both virgins, though it needs to be pointed out that Ana is 22 and has never been kissed, which feels totally unrealistic. She is, of course, well-read, thin, supposedly intelligent, and white. I just felt like she was intentionally left blank for the reader to import themselves onto her.

Christian Grey apparently is only 27 but he read like a much older man. His major flaw? He's damaged, and because he's damaged he's into sadism and domination. This, of course, makes it easy for the "vanilla" millions to swallow the bits of domination, because while hot, we know that Grey is troubled and if Ana can save him he won't want to cause anyone pain anymore!

Equating BDSM with damaged people is an old pop culture standby, and even though the DSM V doesn't include sadism, apparently the stigma is still attached. See: the book's kink scenes, primarily the last one, in which Ana wants to "feel what it's like to receive pain." Grey agrees to give her six swats with his belts so that she can understand this and receive punishment. Ana takes all six and then just as dramatically tells this man she purportedly loves that something is wrong with him and he's sick, and then storms off. While the average reader might feel like Ana was standing up for herself, it just isn't true. In BDSM, a scene is a trade-off between two people; the focus might be on the kneeling submissive, but the person wielding the belt is just as important. In walking away from her Dominant, without safe-wording, without thought, Ana hurt him. What's more, she could have seriously injured herself. Taking part in a scene requires total trust and understanding of what the top is going to do, of what the bottom is capable of, and knowledge of when that bottom is hitting their edge, which Ana obviously was. BDSM, while intriguing, visually stimulating, and undeniably sexy, isn't a game—and it clearly shouldn't be left in the hands of amateurs like EL James."

Okay, so we're basically just saying what many have already concluded. 50 Shades of Grey is a boring, badly written book that portrays people who are into BDSM as sick. Yes, it's popular, but we think erotica fans can do better.

a snapshot of the erotica shelf of the Bitch Lending Library
Not pictured: Shades of Grey.

A quick browse of the Bitch Community Lending Library under the tag "erotica" yields some results for erotic fiction we can recommend, such as Curvy Girls: Erotica for Women and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica.

Tallina recommends: "The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice, though be careful, they are quite graphic! The Story of O by Pauline Reage. Very good, and there is a scandal about who actually wrote the book, because it was under a pen name. Some say that the book was written by French journalist Anne Desclos, others disagree. Plus, the story is rumored to be true (maybe). It's a good, erotic read if you can find a decent translation. Though not quite erotica, Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey is an excellent read about a masochistic courtesan who becomes a spy and saves the day. "

This is where you come in. What are your recommendations for erotic fiction that is sexy, hot, consensual, inclusive, and does not play into the shame-making aspects of equating kink with being damaged? We'd love to hear your suggestions in the comments!

Previously: Three Otherworldly Indie Comics, Speculating on the Future of Feminism

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Comments

51 comments have been made. Post a comment.

"Ana is 22 and has never been

"Ana is 22 and has never been kissed, which feels totally unrealistic."
Come now . . . it could . . . happen. . . . Reading about how not having had a love life yet in your 20's is unrealistic and therefore not a valid character quality kinda makes me feel like crap.

I think she meant for the character it felt unrealistic...

As someone who had a lackluster (read: nonexistent) love life until college, I know what you mean. However, I think Tallina's saying that the way Ana's "never been kissed" status was presented felt unrealistic to her.

Don't feel like crap though Neptuny! It's a totally valid character quality, just maybe not for this character. And it is definitely a totally valid real-life person quality (I should know)!

____________
Kelsey Wallace, contributor

Ask me about our Comments Policy!

What I found unrealistic...

It wasn't so much her virginity that I found unrealistic, but that she had never had any sexual feelings prior to meeting Grey. She had apparently made it to the age of 22 without knowing what being sexually aroused felt like. Yeah, right.

It does happen

I have to say, I was Ana (up until she had multiple orgasms losing her virginity). It may not be common, but I feel like because I definitely bought into the "sex is slutty" myth for so long, I was very closed off from my desires right up until I wasn't. I didn't have any sort of realization, I was just finally in a relationship in which I trusted someone enough to let go and acknowledge desire for them. Up until that point, I had made out with guys but done nothing below the belt, had never masturbated, and never had an orgasm in any way. I used to get mentally distracted while making out with guys because I just wasn't into it. And then, I met this guy, and for whatever reason, it clicked, and we had sex after about a month of dating, because I suddenly really wanted to. I was 21, going on 22. So, it does happen, thanks to the way we raise girls to be disconnected from their bodies.

Ana is 22 and has never been kissed....

I was tying this more into the virginity piece, which felt forced, fake, unrealistic and unnecessary for this character. For all the sexy times in the book, it felt unnecessary to place this ideal on Ana. Nothing at all would have been lost in the book if Ana had actually been sexually active, in fact, a better understanding of BDSM might have occurred, thus making for a better book.

Neptuny, I, too, felt a few

Neptuny, I, too, felt a few blocks tumble from my own wall of self esteem when I read that sentence. Especially the way she followed "has never been kissed, which feels totally unrealistic" with "She is, of course, well-read, thin, supposedly intelligent, and white". And while, I think the author of the review meant the sentences as two entirely separate descriptions, and not dependent on each other. In that the second sentence describing Ana does not reflect her sexual status, but that Ana's description of white, thin, well read, and intelligent are qualities that she shares with a majority of female leads. However, when I first read it, for someone who had her first (drunken) kiss at 22, and has in fact graduated from college without even the hope of a love life since, reading those two sentences side by side felt as if the two descriptions of Ana were an oxymoron. As if one could not be both never been kissed, and be thin, white, and smart. That in fact, since Ana is white, thin, well-read, and supposedly intelligent meant that it is unrealistic that she has not been kissed, because who wouldn't want to kiss that? I asked myself that for 22 years, but then again maybe I'm just too blank to have much a personality.

I know that's not what she meant, but that's where my mind went.

whiteness, thinness, kissingness

I understand how that part might have been insensitive and read in multiple ways. However, I believe our focus here should not be this article reading as though it's improbable to be white, thin, well-read and unkissed (if you read it that way, which I didn't). A much bigger crime is the text's (50 shades of grey) reproduction of whiteness and thinness as ultimately desirable qualities.

We need to focus on the things that marginalize others through systemic oppression (such as racism and fat-hate), not just the ones that ring a personal bell.

Also, a thought on something earlier in this thread: whether or not you have engaged in any particular sexual activity is not a "character trait" and I think it might be harmful to think of it that way. When we're talking about characterization, it is useful to talk about tropes of virginity/purity that are being employed by the author to present Ana in a specific way. Constructing a character that has never kissed someone (and if the author uses "never been kissed", that's a whole other load of stuff to talk about right there) plays into virginity tropes, but I think it's dangerous to talk about as a character trait especially when talking about real people.

It says in the book she made

It says in the book she made out with a few guys. Just did not do anything sexual with them other the kissing

It's not the

It's not the "mid-20's-never-been-kissed" part that's unlikely, it's the "never-been-kissed-but-expert-deepthroater" that just doesn't make sense in real life.

The Proof of the Honey

The Proof of the Honey by Salwa Al Neimi is a very sexy book that dismantles a lot of stereotypes surrounding Middle eastern women.

Inaccuracy

I've read all 3 of the books and while I agree with your analysis I must correct that Ana had in fact been kissed. There's a discussion of her previous kisses in the later books.

Oh so many books that are better

While I agree that Story of O is a good read, there is also a lot of damage there. But at least the people have depth and the main bit of dialogue is not "Holy Hell." In the same vein there is "Crash" by J. G. Ballard and "Story of the Eye" by Bataille. Lots of screwed up people, ... yet, a very hot read.
Doc and Fluff by Pat/rick Califia is hot. Patrick has written a number of short BDSM stories, most of which are excellent.
Carol Queen has written "The Leather Daddy and the Femme." which is phenomenal smut. Everyone is fairly happy and just having a good time.

Inaccuracy

**Spoiler Alert** I've read all 3 books (I'm 38 weeks preggo sitting at home with nothing to do). Aaaaanyway - I just wanted to point out that the character Ana has in fact been kissed. They never did say in the first book that she hadn't and there's a discussion in the later books about her previous kisses.

Also - the last "scene" in the first book really isn't a scene so much as it is Grey taking her aggression out on Ana in a very inappropriate way, which is still troublesome but I feel you somewhat misrepresented it here.

What bothers me is that as the books go on Grey comes to 'realize' that BDSM is just his way of dealing with his damaged past and he starts to let go of it. Though, what's good about that is that the two come to a compromise and seem to find a way to mix both Ana's style of 'love making' and Grey's BDSM into their sex life so that both parties are satisfied.

Of course the series is filled with predictable plot movers: a marriage proposal, threats from another man, a pregnancy, etc. It's almost a carbon copy of Twilight, but much more sexually gratifying. And there's a very boring epilogue that gives the typical "happy ending" . . . and then there's 3 more "endings" that seem more like idea for more books that James never completed.

"It's almost a carbon copy of

"It's almost a carbon copy of Twilight"

Because it is. It was originally written as a fanfic, and it's why Ana is so dull and boring, is because she *is* Bella Swan, and the reason Christian Grey is so stalkerish and overbearing, is because he *is* Edward Cullen. The fanfic in question has been all but expunged from the internet, but from what I hear, it's literally word for word except the names were changed.

For what it's worth, I've

For what it's worth, I've heard that it started out as Twilight fanfic. Not that I have anything against a good fanfic, but it might explain the Bella similarities. It also wasn't professionally edited, so.

While I agree that Story of O

While I agree that Story of O is a good read, there is also a lot of damage there. But at least the people have depth and the main bit of dialogue is not "Holy Hell." In the same vein there is "Crash" by J. G. Ballard and "Story of the Eye" by Bataille. Lots of screwed up people, ... yet, a very hot read.
Doc and Fluff by Pat/rick Califia is hot. Patrick has written a number of short BDSM stories, most of which are excellent.
Carol Queen has written "The Leather Daddy and the Femme." which is phenomenal smut. Everyone is fairly happy and just having a good time.

Recommendations

I have to say I second the recommendation of Kushiel's Dart series. It's sexy, intriguing, and has a multi-faceted, intelligent, and daring female character who put's "Grey's" Ana to shame.

Feminist Erotica

I personally am in love with Kiss of Shadows by Laurel (?) Hamilton. It has an interesting plot and fantastic sex scenes. It's in the fantasy genre (fairies and such) which makes it that much more appealing to me. The main character is a strong female vying for the throne, accompanied by her entourage of highly various and extremely sexy guards, most of whom share her bed. Another interesting aspect is that it is Goddess-based and provides some critique on religion's affects on how we express sexuality, and on society as a whole.
I highly recommend the series. I am now on book four of I believe 8. This author keeps you hooked!

"Sometimes She Let's Me" is

"Sometimes She Let's Me" is an awesome collection of butch/femme lesbian erotica. Some of the stories are almost poetry, and it's all high-quality & well written. Plus, it's super hot! :)

Ugggh...

I plodded through this book over the last few days because I was curious about all the hype. Why is it so hard for women to write a LIKEABLE protagonist?

Ana comes across as weak, passive, and so Bella-like. (I read half of Twilight before throwing it out)

Ana complains about her treatment by Christian and yet never used the safewords..so how can she blame him for his treatment of her? She asked for it....literally.

While some bits of the book were semi-enjoyable, I found Ana's virginal status before Christian unbelievable, especially as she decides to give it up so readily.. i.e. the second orgasm of her life = first sexual intercourse.

I don't believe a 22 year old almost-never-been-kissed/virgin in unrealistic (I'm a 21 year old never-been-kissed/virgin) but I think it was her total naivety and innocence mixed with her want to have sex straight away with a man she barely knows that annoys me.

Anyway, enough ranting... I won't spend more money on the rest of the series.

What's wrong with him?

I also have not read the books, but have several friends & coworkers who have done so and discussed them with me. The one statement that really hit me was when one told me her reason for being so obsessed with the books is that she wants to find out what's wrong with Christian. As in, of course, no straight, rich, powerful, handsome white man would be interested in BDSM unless he's somehow broken.

And I agree with Tallina's recommendations in full. Both The Sleeping Beauty trilogy and The Story of O are very good erotic fiction, and I just recently finished the Kushiel series. This last one was such a breath of fresh air for me - a fantasy series with a strong female protagonist who uses her proclivity for "giving in" as a source of strength and power.

Yes, we can do better!

Actually I found Anne Rice's Beauty series repetitive, unrealistic, and kinda stupid. Instead, try Laura Antoniou's Marketplace series. The existence of the underground slave market - and the commitment to servitude in general rather than to an individual - is silly, but the characters are well-written and the stories are fun. What we really need are more books centered on healthy, loving pairings, where the submissive has a brain and maybe even a career. I live this way at home, and I love it.

Yes!

Although I loved Anne Rice's Beauty series, I also highly recommend the Marketplace series. Fantastic books!

Indeed we can

I know this webposting is older, but I want to thank you for sticking to the original question of the thread and recommending a book series to read! I am going to check it out...my husband and I want to delve more into the d/s relationship.

Thank you.

Erotica Recommendations

I whole heartedly agree with the recommendation of Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy, they are very good, very sexy. My only complaint with them is while there are countless male on male sex scenes, there is only one female on female sex scene in the whole 3 books. But they are very much graphic and hard core BDSM. Her other erotica books Exit to Eden and Belinda are more tame. The former is very much about BDSM and the latter is a re-imagining of a Lolita story.

Other favorites are Gynomite: Fearless, Feminist Porn edited by Liz Belile, and any of the collections of Best of Women's Erotica all have short stories that are perfect for one handed reads.

Oh, and Francesca Lia Block's Nymph is also a good one.

erotica suggestions

S&M: Pat Califia: Macho Sluts, Doing it for Daddy, Doc and Fluff, No Mercy

Switch Hitters: Lesbians Write Gay Male Erotica and Gay Men Write Lesbian Erotica : Carol Queen (Editor), Lawrence Schimel

Lesbian (primarily vanilla): Girl Crush: Women's Erotic Fantasies - R. Gay (Editor)

Macho Sluts by Patrick

Macho Sluts by Patrick Califia and The Leather Daddy and the Femme by Carol Queen changed my sexual life. They're both really well written as well as super hot. Right now, I'm reading Carrie's Story by Molly Weatherfield and it's sequel, Safeword. They have a similar theme to 50 Shades, but the writing is much better and the characters are far more interesting. [Also: pony play!]

story of the eye is an

story of the eye is an amazing erotic novel. the story of o is a great book as well. no one has mentioned anais nin. one of my favorite erotic novels is delta of venus which is a series of short stories that are incredible. i highly recommend anything by her.

I also agree that it's

I also agree that it's not-so-unrealistic to be a virgin at 22. The thing about it that really bothered me about Ana losing her virginity at 22 was she was such a "natural" at being on top and giving head. What-the-what?? It takes lots of experience and conversations between partners for sex to be more than mediocre. I would love to read a more realistic "first-time" scene.

Close, Too Close

Try reading the very first ever book of queer erotica from South Asia. It's hot off the press!
www.facebook.com/closetooclose

Queer, feminist and undoubtedly sexy :)

bdsm erotica

I really enjoy Cherise Sinclair's books. They are normal people who just enjoy a friskier bedroom experience. Favorite book is Master of the Mountain. It's about a woamn named Rebecca who has some body issues but a great job and a supportive boyfriend. She feels like something is wrong with her because she doesn't enjoy sex but she finds herself at Serenity Lodge where all of that changes.

Don't forget about "The Best American Erotica" series!

Published from 1993-2008, these anthologies have erotic stories for every mature reader of many persuasions, and were editied by the one and only Susie Bright. More about them and the other erotic anthologies she has edited at http://susiebright.blogs.com. By the way, her memoir "Big Sex Little Death" is now out in paperback.

Ana's Sexuality

I'm about six chapters into the book, right after the first sex scene where Grey doesn't "fuck her hard," but rather "makes love" to her because she's a virgin. What I really hated about Ana's characterization is that her sexuality is seemingly not her own. She's never masturbated, and she seems to have never fantasized or had any interest in sex until *sigh* a man comes along and makes her have three orgasms the first time she has sex (a tad unrealistic, anyone?). While I'm all for BDSM (I haven't gotten to that part yet), I'm irritated so far that Ana's sexuality seems to depend entirely on Grey. Even during the scene she says, "Please," asking him to let/help/enable her to finish. I'm really glad that so many women seem to be talking about Fifty Shades of Grey these days because I think that women should be talking about sex way more often than we do, but I hate that Ana's sexuality only seems to exist insofar as Grey enables her to experience it.

50 shades of 'it's for girls, hence it's sh*t"

Though I appreciate the analysis given above and would probably not enjoy 'Grey' that much myself, I find the hype surrounding the book fascinating. I have been surprised (and a bit sad even) to notice how much backlash just a book can get because many women like it. Of course this isn't new at all and fits the 'its for women so it must be stupid' pattern that surrounds many pop cultural phenomena (or worse, it'smiddle aged women that enjoy reading/watching/consuming it, that makes even stupider!). Therefore, I'll have the glass half full and think there it's pretty great that because of this one (maybe not so great ) novel, erotic fiction for women is a mainstream topic again, and people are talking about it. Of course, the novel itself deserves critique for its content , storyline and messages (and should not get a free pass just because of the former). Still, overall I find myself being more happy than annoyed with the whole 'Grey' thing.

DSM V

Overall an interesting article, and I really appreciate the recommendations! I just wanted to point out one small inaccuracy. The current DSM is actually the DSM-IV-TR, which does include Sexual Sadism as a diagnosis. The American Psychiatric Association is currently working on revising and releasing the DSM-V which will probably not be out for a few more years. As of now, however, their website (dsm5.org) shows that they are planning on including Sexual Sadism Disorder. While it is unfortunate that this continues to be considered a mental disorder, they do specify that you can only be diagnosed if they have acted on these "urges" with a nonconsenting individual or if the "urges/desires" are causing marked distress. There is also an option to specify if it occurs in a "controlled environment." If anyone is interested in the intersection between kink and psychology you should check out the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (carasresearch.org).

Not to jump on the tiny inaccuracies bandwagon, but . . .

. . . I'm totally gonna. It's been pretty well established that Anne Desclos was, in fact, Pauline Réage (which wasn't even her only pen name) - I don't think it's accurate to imply that there's a question there. She wrote it as a) a response to the assertion that a lady couldn't write erotica (golly, was *that* ever wrong) and/or b) as a methodology/result of seducing/continuing to seduce her lover via text, who also happened to be her boss, who also happened to be the guy who purportedly said that teh ladiez couldn't write sexytimes. Within that origin story, sure, I could see how it's a bit YMMV, but who she was behind the pen name isn't really the part that's debatable, and whether it's "true" as written is extremely doubtful as such.

As someone who is reading 50 Shades now - as part of a snarky online bookclub - I'd like to agree that it is just friggin' terrible, but add that, given how Ana's limited sexual history is portrayed in the text, the act of simply giving her a contract and repeatedly asking if that's what she wants may purportedly be consent, but I certainly wouldn't call it *informed* consent, and everything in me wants to quibble on that point. Indeed, Ana actually does sign a contract - it's just the more legally binding one, which is to say the Non-Disclosure Agreement Christian hands her before telling her anything, and which she (foolishly! foolishly!) signs without reading. Besides which, yeah, the kink is really rather shittily done all around.

Finally, can't agree with the Kushiel series recommendation enough, like I am maybe rereading them for the umpteenth time right now as a 50 Shades palate cleanser and they're just great. [/total fangirl]

Snarky online book club??

Snarky online book club?? More please?

Anais Nin!

how about anything by Anais Nin? the first female writer in the erotica genre...

"Women: Neither submissive nor devoted. I want you free, beautiful, and crazy."

If you are looking for good

If you are looking for good erotica with interesting characters and excellent writing, anything by Emma Holly or Joey W Hill will not disappoint.

I've never been kissed

I have never been kissed and I am almost 27 years old! There was a kiss dare when I was in the fifth grade, but the boy and I never actually kissed except on the cheek.

One of the best anthologies ever: Erotique Noire

Forget 50 Shades of Grey. I can't get past the prose and it's not all that erotic.

If you appreciate fine writing, try Erotique Noire, which is a compilation of short storys and poetry. THIS is erotica worth reading: sexy, smart, revealing without being over exposed.

It is described as "a glorious, groundbreaking celebration of black sensuality." Let's agree that sensuality transcends color; this book was written for everyone.

Late to the discussion here,

Late to the discussion here, but I would recommend A Good Student by Elliot Mabeuse. I haven't read it yet, but based on the Amazon reviews, it sounds very erotic. If you want a BDSM tale of an older Dom and a younger sub, this would be my pick.

Merry Christmas! :-)

Right On!

Great post! I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, and I know some of my friends like it, but just hearing about it made me think that it would actually be ... well, "insulting" is probably too strong of a word, but yes, insulting to people who actually enjoy BDSM fiction. My favorite to recommend is "Belinda," by "Anne Rampling" - not BDSM exactly, but sort of.

In particular, like you say, I don't like the trope of treating BDSM participants as "damaged" and their interest in BDSM as something to be overcome. It's something to be reveled in, I would say. Belinda wasn't damaged - she was a very interesting character - one I would love to get to know better.

Anyway, I hope you don't mind a little shameless self promotion, but I'm also a writer. I've written all the combinations, but writing m/m is the most enjoyable and exciting for me. As a guy, I think it is because it allows me to express a part of myself that I never express in real life. It's also exciting because I fantasize that a woman would enjoy reading my writing as much as I enjoy writing it. I've finally finished a full-length novella about a m/m encounter - based on some experiences in my own life but going to an extreme that is beyond anything I've ever dared to try myself. I'll be publishing it soon as an ebook but I'd love some feedback before I do. You can find it at plungingintothepool.blogspot.com.

i agree that 50 Shades of

i agree that 50 Shades of Grey is VERY problematic, and thank you for posting some good alternatives. However, the Story of O is filled with far more offensive content than 50 shades. O is used as a sex slave and then given to someone who abuses her further.

i am shocked that this story would be recommended by this site.

alternatives to 50 Shades...

I'm biased, but some may find this little book more to their liking than Fifty Shades...
http://www.therhythmsoflove.com/

Alternative to 50 Shades

I'm biased, but some may find this little book more to their liking than Fifty Shades....
http://www.therhythmsoflove.com/

Super duper late to the

Super duper late to the discussion...but I wanted to say that I was in my mid 20's before I was properly and thoroughly kissed. And it was much later until I lost my V card.

So....Ana is totally a possibility.

Other than that...50 Shades is embarrassing to have as an association to the BDSM community. It's for the "ooooh, look how naughty we are"non-kinky crowd, and not for the folks who are kinky because they are kinky.

Literary Erotica -- heterofeminist style

I write from the feminist perspective post Nin and Jong non-BDSM.

I've been published at the top two sites in the web -- Cleansheets and ERWA.

Find me in Kindle -- "Gardenias."

You might like this one? http://www.erotica-readers.com/GD/S/Bing%20Cherry_Silk.htm It's up for the rest of the month in the galleries, and after that for sale at Kobo.

xxoo!

Excellent, humorous and erotic read

Try The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan. Very interesting and real.

Why pay?

'EA' - the best male erotica writer publishing on the Net for some time. See if I'm not telling the truth.
http://www.easilyaroused.co.uk/

I would say that sadism,

I would say that sadism, enjoying the pain, tears, and humiliation of another human being, is disgusting.

Then I remember it's what people do all the damn time, in a sexual context and outside of it, from gossiping to bullying to murder.

There's a lot of sexist themes in BDSM; just take a glance at BDSM porn. But that's the result of a crap society. But most of all, I can't bring myself to respect the sort of man who would want me to vomit after choking me with his dick and calling me a worthless piece of shit whore. No amount of open-mindedness can change that. It's deplorable, but it's very human to want power by perceiving others as weaker, inferior, or submissive to you. People are often pleased when another fails, because it props them up.

But overall, it just offends my empathy. If you can get turned on by that, it says something about the ubiquitous, smothered cruelty that exists in our species, and in all other species. It's nothing to laud.