One of the lesser-discussed hassles of identifying as feminist is that
people often think you'll be super-delighted to engage in some good
old-fashioned man bashing. Those men, you know? What's up with them
never being able to pick up their damn socks? And the belching? And
like I care about whether the Red Sox will ever be in the World Series
again. I should totally just get a dog—at least he'll be satisfied
licking his own balls, instead of whining that I never do. Amirite,
So it's important, every so often, to stress that feminism does not
equal female chauvinism. I was reminded of this when the review copy of
Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or
Having Sex arrived at Bitch Media HQ.
Undateable does not bill itself as a feminist text. It's a dating
manual: As authors Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle write in
its introduction: "There's an unspoken list of things men say, wear, or
do that will pretty much guarantee that the girl you just took out to
dinner won't ever want to see you again."
So, basically, it's the real-life version of Liz Lemon's "dealbreakers"
book, only not funny, and also instead of urging the ladies to shut
down relationships for sensible (if insane) reasons—he's appeared on To
Catch a Predator, he's wearing a giant diamond "Open Marriage"
necklace—Undateable encourages them to be shallow, closed-minded, and
It's simply not true. I didn't realize she'd take it personal that I never saw Transformers (or its sequel) and I was one of the few that bought tickets to see Jennifer's Body opening weekend. But the latest New York Times magazine cover woman claims that women hate her.
Do a quick search on the Internet and you'll see that there are lots more people waiting to adopt a healthy newborn these days than there are babies out there ready to be adopted. Gone are the (ahem) "good old days" when a pregnant woman finding herself in less than optimal circumstances could be shamed, coerced or forced to give up her baby as a matter of socially accepted course (for more on THAT history, check out Ann Fessler's The Girls Who Went Away). Access to safe, legal abortion (while awesome when it occurs) has done a real number on the adoption industry.
I didn't realize that in my quest to be up on YA literature and be able to have thoughtful discussions with my Kid about her reading adventures that I would encounter something so wrought with this many problematic themes. Or that I would find it all wrapped up in the charming red ribbon of the most Epic Love Story Evah! With Fangs.
Everyone! This just in! The "gender wars" are over, and women won!. That's right; after fighting for centuries for equality, our struggles have finally paid off BECAUSE MEN ARE BECOMING JUST LIKE WOMEN. Which, you know, means not only are we equals now, but women are actually the conquerors in this scenario. WE WON!!!
Imagine a woman holding this sign and you'll get the idea.
OK, we might want to hold off on the victory parades for a minute, because the news of our triumph comes from The Huffington Post courtesy of Marcus Buckingham, whose bio describes him as a "personal strengths expert" (totally didn't realize that was a job, btw). In today's issue of the online journal, Buckingham claims that
In a war, no matter the outcome of a certain skirmish or battle, the winner is the party whose attitudes, behaviors and preoccupations come to dominate the postwar landscape. By this measure, the outcome of the gender wars, if wars they were, is clear: women won.
Does this argument seem flawed to you in any way? Yeah. Thought so.
Having been denied a marriage license in Buenos Aires this past April, Argentinian couple Jose Maria Di Bello and Alex Freyre sued the city on the grounds that the denial was violating their constitutional rights. Although civil unions are available in some cities, including Buenos Aires, the union does not afford couples all of the rights granted to those who can marry--such as a shared health insurance policy and inheritance rights. In this week's ruling on the case, Judge Gabriela Seijas said, "The law should treat everyone with the same respect according to their singularities, without the need to understand or regulate them," and granted a marriage license to Di Bello and Freyre--the first state-sanctioned gay marriage in Latin America.