Oh, my goodness! Britney Spears has released a new single! And it is about SEXUAL ACTIVITY! To be precise, it concerns threesomes - the song is entitled "3," just so that you don't miss its subtle and highly coded message - which have been scientifically determined to be the single tamest and most socially acceptable form of sexual experimentation aside from heterosexual girl-on-girl makeouts at bars and/or on Spring Break. So, of course, people are calling it "deviant" and giggling about it like schoolchildren.
Quiz: Is this still from... a) Jenny Slate's new short Eff-You you Effing Eff-wad? b) a promo from the 2009 Quirkfest Filmfest?
or c) Juno II: All Grown Up?
It's actually from Obvious Child, a short film by Gillian Robespierre which combines a little of all of the above, but with one major difference: it's a funny, well-made movie that deals with unplanned pregnancy. (Spoiler alert: she gets an abortion and doesn't think twice about it!) Read on for the full film!
You know: a lot of people have problems with Madonna. In fact, pretty much the entire history of Madonna has been the history of people having various problems with her! I first learned of her existence when a news channel reported on one of her concerts. I was maybe five or six. It was her "crucifix as fashion accessory" phase; possibly, also, her "pretending to masturbate on stage" phase. And my mother turned to me and said, "you know, it's important to realize that not everyone likes her.
It's almost Halloween, which means I'll be a little anxious trying to figure out what the hell to dress as this year, as I do every year. Yet, were I to go to a Halloween costume store and try to find something, I wouldn't really be able to find anything that exciting. Scary, sure. But not in a Halloween scary way. I'd find a lot of ridiculous outfits of all kinds that require garter belts, knee-high boots and close-to-nothing tops but that are somehow "different characters". Yes, it's true that the contention for Halloween costumes for ladies is not a new beef: it's been quite awhile since "sexy" Halloween costumes have been all the rage. But when did Spongebob become sexy? Is Pocahottie seriously a choice? And Strawberry Shortcake in thigh-highs? This week's Douchebag Decree is dedicated to Spirit Halloween Store because if you don't want to bear your bosom in the name of dress up fun, well sister, you're shit out of luck.