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In an effort to cast a net beyond the sea of my own opinions (most of which involve reality television and hilarious animal photos) I asked for reader feedback on this week's Douchebag Decree. The nominations were many, and all were deserving: The Itawamba School District, for its attempts to ban gay couples from attending the prom. Eric Massa, for allegedly sexually harassing employees in his Congressional office. Ken Cuccinelli, for his letter advising public universities to retreat from their policies against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Ben Roethlisberger, for yet another alleged sexual assault. Douchebags are running amok!

However, one nominee rose to the top of the list for me, especially once I realized this Douche Supreme has never been awarded The Decree before. (I guess it was too obvious?) Congratulations, Howard "Douchemeister" Stern.

Has anyone seen any of the promos for the new E! series Pretty Wild? Am I just a grumpy old lady, or does this show seem wildly inappropriate, wildly unnecessary, and wildly shitty?

Teens in Milwaukee, WI were treated to an elaborate hoax recently in the form of 2028, an alleged horror film that turned out to be a PSA about teen pregnancy. Here's the trailer, though it's not for the faint of heart:



W? T? F?

If I hear another blogger/author/interviewer comment on Christina Hendricks' weight I might lose it. As if her body (omg BOOBS) wasn't enough of a focus already, now she is being picked apart for her appearance at the Golden Globes the other night. As you may have seen by now, Cathy Horyn fromThe New York Times claimed that "You don't put a big girl in a big dress" and ran this (distorted) photo of Hendricks:



WTF?

Ugh. As a rule we usually we try to avoid over-the-top misogynist websites, but there is a blog post today on Manolith.com that is emblematic of so many things that are problematic in lad mag culture that it could not be ignored. The post, titled "15 Annoying Things Most Girlfriends Do (That You Have to Put Up With)" covers just about every "socially acceptable" woman-hating base out there. You've been warned.

Holiday gift shopping is tough. I mean, if commercials have taught us anything, it's that women reeeally care about getting presents (especially pricey ones) and if you get a woman a gift she doesn't like she'll probably never speak to you again. What can I say? I guess we're ridiculously materialistic and shallow. So materialistic and shallow, in fact, that we can't be bothered to make our own doctor's appointments. (I guess we just care about shopping more?) That's why, this holiday season, what the women in your life really want is for you to make them an appointment to get a pap smear or a mammogram:



Oh, and it doesn't stop there, folks.

Everyone! This just in! The "gender wars" are over, and women won!. That's right; after fighting for centuries for equality, our struggles have finally paid off BECAUSE MEN ARE BECOMING JUST LIKE WOMEN. Which, you know, means not only are we equals now, but women are actually the conquerors in this scenario. WE WON!!!


Imagine a woman holding this sign and you'll get the idea.
OK, we might want to hold off on the victory parades for a minute, because the news of our triumph comes from The Huffington Post courtesy of Marcus Buckingham, whose bio describes him as a "personal strengths expert" (totally didn't realize that was a job, btw). In today's issue of the online journal, Buckingham claims that

In a war, no matter the outcome of a certain skirmish or battle, the winner is the party whose attitudes, behaviors and preoccupations come to dominate the postwar landscape. By this measure, the outcome of the gender wars, if wars they were, is clear: women won.

Does this argument seem flawed to you in any way? Yeah. Thought so.

You know that feeling you get when you have unprotected sex with the Governor's daughter, the two of you have a baby, and you become a national punchline? Well, next time you find yourself in that awkward situation, take a cue from teen dad Levi Johnston and turn your regrets into something positive: pistachios.

Here's how I spent mine:
- Being disappointed upon discovering it wasn't Pro-Cupcake Life Day
- Eating leftover cupcakes from Bitch's clothing swap/supporting a woman's right to choose
- WONDERING WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE

The Cupcakes for Life Campaign is as crazy as it sounds: literally shoving anti-choice rhetoric down kids's throats.

So yeah, um, this is happening:



Believe your eyes, folks. Marge Simpson is on the cover of Playboy's November Issue. W.T.F?