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So I was riding in the car yesterday, fiddling with the radio dial, when I was blindsided by a gigantic bag of douchiness, masquerading itself in radio EP form. Coming through the speakers in my friend's Kia were these words (poorly sung, I might add):

Shush, girl! Shut your lips!/ Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips!

I'm sorry, what? Do the HELEN KELLER? Because the ideal woman is unable to hear, see, or speak and can only communicate through hip gyrations? Once I recovered from the severe case of douchelash these lyrics brought upon me, I was able to do a bit of investigative research. The song is called "Don't Trust Me," and the offenders performers are the Colorado-based duo 3oh!3. Apparently, this single and its creators are sweeping the nation this summer, delivering a message of doucherty and douchetice for all. Peep the video for further evidence of this:



More decency-defying douchebaggery after the jump!

 

For the love of god, what will it be next? This is not Burger King's first rodeo, in terms of terrible, sexist advertising, but it might be the raunchiest and therefore the most abhor-able. There is no reading between the lines here, no smoke and mirrors as far as the imagery and message are concerned. So who the hell keeps getting this smut on their desk and signing off on it? In past blogs, we've tackled this b.s. once or twice before, and you'd think they'd eventually get over the tired, easy, douchebag messaging. "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled"? For the love of... Please, please, this is so grade school immature and straight-up offensive.

Burger King, women don't like giving sandwiches fellatio. Shockingly enough. Based on past ad campaigns, Burger King thinks women think hamburgers are babies and now, penises, and that we'll stuff our pants to emulate Spongebob so we can drop it like it's hot in some weird, washed-up '80s hip-hop star's quasi-music video. A big shut up, please, to Burger King for their latest jaunt down Douchebag Avenue. BK execs, why don't you take your own advice and suck it (metaphorically speaking).