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Someone should make a bumper sticker that reads So many douchebags, so little time. I'd buy it. Every week when the Douchebag Decree comes around, there are too many douches and it's almost impossible to determine who deserves the honor most. This week, we have two very strong contenders, which is why we need YOU to vote for your (least) favorite in a DOUCHEBAG SHOWDOWN. Two douches enter, one douche leaves!



In one corner: Erick "Ugly feminists return to their kitchens" Erickson! The fightin' feminist-hater!

In the other corner: Margaret "Blogs are a guy thing" Wente! The super cybersexist!

Ladies and gentlemen, place yer bets!

OK folks. You know how we feel about this year's Kay Jewelers ad and the holiday-themed pap smear PSAs, but which holiday ads are making you want to throw your remote/magazine/newspaper/laptop into an open fire this year? There's only one way to find out! It's time for OFFENSIVE COMMERCIALS: HOLIDAY SHOWDOWN!

Americans love our fast food, and you know what we like most about it? It's not the trans fats, or the corporatization of farming, or even the ridiculous amount of waste the packaging generates (so if you guessed one of those, you're out of luck). Nope, our favorite thing about our favorite type of food is... offensive commercials! If it weren't, then why would EVERY f*ing fast food chain in the country advertise its plastic-y foods with a ridiculously offensive ad campaign?

So, in honor of America's apparent love of offensive fast food commercials, we're having (wait for it...) AN OFFENSIVE FAST FOOD COMMERCIAL SHOWDOWN! The contestants for this showdown include a date-rapey toaster oven, a Warrant-loving park pervert, and a booty-shaking creeper in a king mask. Four ads enter, one ad leaves! Which will reign supreme as the most offensive fast food commercial? YOU MAKE THE CALL! (Oh, and warning: These ads contain ads)

Our first contestant is an ad for Jack-in-the-Box smoothies:



I'm sorry, did that man in the bobble head just call menopausal women "street rat crazy"? WTF? More, after the jump!

It's been a long, bizarre, offensive battle, but the results from last week's Offensive Commercial Showdown are in! With 27% of the vote, which ad reigns supreme as the most offensive? (Drum roll sound here, please...)

And the loser is... ORANGINA!!!

Thanks to everyone who voted! Watch (or re-watch) the video, see the uber-creepy "making of" the commercial, and nominate your picks for the next showdown, after the jump!

I came into the office today prepared to blog about just one creepy, sexist, bizarre television commercial, but since that time three more have been brought to my attention. You know what that means, right? It's time for a commercial showdown!

In this showdown, four commercials will compete, but only one can be named the most offensive! Will it be the Carl's Jr. ad featuring Padma Lakshmi sucking on a strip of bacon? The Orangina ad featuring anthropomorphic animals getting busy in the jungle? The Schick Quattro ad asking women to mow their "lawns"? Or the Axe Body Spray "Dark Temptation" ad that takes black face to a whole new level? YOU make the call!

Vote for the most offensive ad after the jump, and add your own submissions as well! Four ads enter, one ad leaves! It's showdown time!

To kick us off, Padma Lakshmi hearts Carl's Jr.: