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When Hardee's (known to us West Coast-ers as Carl's Jr.) launched a new dessert last month and called it biscuit holes, no one was shocked that the product inspired yet another offensive ad campaign. After all, Hardee's has made a name for itself by shilling gross food with even grosser commercials (usually complete with a bikini-clad woman covered in ketchup). However, apparently this most recent campaign-o'-unbelievable-bad-taste has gone too far for Hardee's largest franchisee. But why on earth could that be?



Creamy sweet holes? Hole munchers? Hmmm... Could these phrases be construed as somewhat sexual? (Yes.) Of course, it's interesting that the franchisee that is calling for a ban on the Name Our Holes campaign didn't bat an eyelash when Paris Hilton lathered up her breasts in the name of the Spicy BBQ Burger. Are "A-holes" somehow more offensive?

Americans love our fast food, and you know what we like most about it? It's not the trans fats, or the corporatization of farming, or even the ridiculous amount of waste the packaging generates (so if you guessed one of those, you're out of luck). Nope, our favorite thing about our favorite type of food is... offensive commercials! If it weren't, then why would EVERY f*ing fast food chain in the country advertise its plastic-y foods with a ridiculously offensive ad campaign?

So, in honor of America's apparent love of offensive fast food commercials, we're having (wait for it...) AN OFFENSIVE FAST FOOD COMMERCIAL SHOWDOWN! The contestants for this showdown include a date-rapey toaster oven, a Warrant-loving park pervert, and a booty-shaking creeper in a king mask. Four ads enter, one ad leaves! Which will reign supreme as the most offensive fast food commercial? YOU MAKE THE CALL! (Oh, and warning: These ads contain ads)

Our first contestant is an ad for Jack-in-the-Box smoothies:



I'm sorry, did that man in the bobble head just call menopausal women "street rat crazy"? WTF? More, after the jump!

Wow, Burger King did it. I was sure Carl's Junior had this in the bag, but no. Burger King has actually succeeded in airing the most sexist fast food commercial of all time. I’m talking, of course, about the ad for BK Burger Shots.

Where do I even begin? Let’s start with the idea that women are so baby-obsessed that they think everything small is a baby. Which leads us to the even weirder idea that when women think they are in the presence of a baby, they make orgasm sounds and want to do whoever is holding said baby/small thing/BK burger shot. But what offends me most is the assumption that hamburgers are so alien to women that they don’t even know you’re supposed to eat them.

 

[Also posted at Love in the Living Room]