Earlier this week we talked about the joy of no sex. Today, I'm singing the praises of casual sex.
I've simply never bought into the idea that all sex must live up to the shining heteronormative ideal of candlelight and roses and true love (which, of course, will progress naturally to an engagement ring and a poufy white dress.) Now, I was always told growing up that "sex is what you do when you love someone." Well, yes. But also...no. Fun sex with your friends has its place too, and for me, having fuck buddies is one of the most enjoyable perks of being single, especially during dry spells between relationships, which is why my friend Jill often refers to them as "the dick in the glass case" (imagine a fire alarm: In Case of Horny Emergency, Break Glass and Grab Dick.)
Ah, the weekend. A time to unwind and have some fun. This particular weekend, I am in New York for my friends' wedding . And you know what the best way to celebrate a wedding (or any special occasion, really) is, don't you? With LOLz, of course!!!
The first special occasion we're celebrating with LOLz this week is Senator Orrin Hatch's abortion amendments were summarily rejected. He wanted to make sure that "abortions could not be covered by any insurance offered through the planned health-insurance exchanges" and that women who wanted their insurance plans to cover abortions would have to buy additional abortion plans. You know, because everyone likes to plan out their abortions years in advance. At any rate, Hatch was shut down, and this puppeh is pretty happy about it:
As you may know, here at Bitch we're also celebrating our new iTunes channel. Subscribe today! These dogs already did, and look how much fun they're having:
Of course, LOLz aren't just good for celebrating special occasions. They are also good for making fun of things you hate. We hate Men's News Daily because they are total a-holes. (For evidence of said a-hole-ishness, check out this article on why feminists are to blame for unfair rape laws. Yikes.) This cat hates Men's News Daily, too:
Between the chance to pre-order Thought You Knew's 2010 calendar (proceeds going to the Chicago Women's Health Center), David Byrne's new book, and the back-to-school commute that's kicking my butt, I've got fall biking on my mind! Here are some songs to pass the time while you put on those fenders (I gotta put on those fenders...!), patch a tube, or just plain pedal!
Track list after the jump!
Oh, my goodness! Britney Spears has released a new single! And it is about SEXUAL ACTIVITY! To be precise, it concerns threesomes - the song is entitled "3," just so that you don't miss its subtle and highly coded message - which have been scientifically determined to be the single tamest and most socially acceptable form of sexual experimentation aside from heterosexual girl-on-girl makeouts at bars and/or on Spring Break. So, of course, people are calling it "deviant" and giggling about it like schoolchildren.
Quiz: Is this still from... a) Jenny Slate's new short Eff-You you Effing Eff-wad? b) a promo from the 2009 Quirkfest Filmfest?
or c) Juno II: All Grown Up?
It's actually from Obvious Child, a short film by Gillian Robespierre which combines a little of all of the above, but with one major difference: it's a funny, well-made movie that deals with unplanned pregnancy. (Spoiler alert: she gets an abortion and doesn't think twice about it!) Read on for the full film!
You know: a lot of people have problems with Madonna. In fact, pretty much the entire history of Madonna has been the history of people having various problems with her! I first learned of her existence when a news channel reported on one of her concerts. I was maybe five or six. It was her "crucifix as fashion accessory" phase; possibly, also, her "pretending to masturbate on stage" phase. And my mother turned to me and said, "you know, it's important to realize that not everyone likes her.
It's almost Halloween, which means I'll be a little anxious trying to figure out what the hell to dress as this year, as I do every year. Yet, were I to go to a Halloween costume store and try to find something, I wouldn't really be able to find anything that exciting. Scary, sure. But not in a Halloween scary way. I'd find a lot of ridiculous outfits of all kinds that require garter belts, knee-high boots and close-to-nothing tops but that are somehow "different characters". Yes, it's true that the contention for Halloween costumes for ladies is not a new beef: it's been quite awhile since "sexy" Halloween costumes have been all the rage. But when did Spongebob become sexy? Is Pocahottie seriously a choice? And Strawberry Shortcake in thigh-highs? This week's Douchebag Decree is dedicated to Spirit Halloween Store because if you don't want to bear your bosom in the name of dress up fun, well sister, you're shit out of luck.